Read It Twice

She kept calling me. I didn't receive any of her calls. I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I had already moved on.

Few years ago.

I left her. I left my home. I fell in love with someone else.

I left my family, as they didn't approve of love marriage.

I didn't talk to her for a few months after leaving my hometown. Everything was normal, until she started calling me. I got irritated by her calls. It reminded me of my past. It reminded me of the good, blissful times I spent with her. It also reminded me of the times that made me hate her. I didn't like it. I didn't want to remember any of it.

I wish I had an option to forget my history.

I was sitting in my cubicle when all of this happened. Sipping my coffee, checking my e-mails, going through the daily schedule, preparing presentations and planning future meetings, I was already occupied with a lot of stress.

Above that, I had a fight with my wife that morning, a small argument over our future.

Right when I thought life couldn't be any more problematic, those calls happened.

I ignored her calls, and went outside my office to get a cigarette. It was the only thing that helped me be in control. I purposely left my phone in my cubicle. While smoking, I felt lighter. I felt my problems vanishing into thin air, just like that smoke.

I remembered the first time I realized I love her. I remembered all the times before that, when she got all possessive about my life, and I ignored all of her, just because I wanted to be with my friends. It's strange, how your close knit people can damage your life.

Or maybe, you think they're damaging your life, but in fact, that's their way of showing how much they love you unconditionally.

I didn't know what it was back then. But now, I know it was love. She loved me, without wanting my love in return. It was I who didn't realize it.

To avoid getting swayed away by my emotions, I came back to my cubicle and checked my phone. There were thirteen missed calls from her phone, two missed calls from one of my friend's, and five from my sister's.

She had crossed the limit. If I'm not picking up her calls, she doesn't have to go and tell other people to call me and talk from their phone.

Why can't she understand that I don't want to talk to her?

I wish she stopped troubling me forever.

To know what was actually going on, I called my sister.

“Bhaiya! Where have you been?” She seemed worried.

“I was busy. Why, what happened? Is everything alright?”

“Bhaiya, why didn't you answer mom's calls?”

“I said, I was busy. Call you tell me what happened?” I was already pissed off.

“She was calling you because she wanted to talk to you for the last time. It was her last stage of cancer. You left us for your love, but she didn't leave you. She kept remembering you. And today, even before dying, she wanted to talk to you, so that she could ask for your forgiveness for not agreeing to your marriage.”

Why did I wish for her to stop troubling me forever?