My First Crush

I think it is a trend to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend nowadays. Surprisingly, I am single. But I desperately want to have one. All of my friends have or had at least one. I wonder why I do not have a relationship?

His name is Antariksh and he is in my class. I do not like to share my feelings but Preeti, my best friend is aware of him and what I feel for him. Preeti says he likes me too because she has noticed him looking at me while in the assembly.

She also noticed that his best friend teases him in my presence. But, he never attempted to talk to me. With every passing day, I was getting attracted towards him. I desperately wanted him to talk to me. I wonder, whether the day will come when we both confess our liking for each other?

Few days later, my classmate, Manav called me and asked me if I like Antariksh? I was awestruck, what was that? While I was thinking, he added, “He is a nice guy, Raina, you both can be a match. “

Oh My God! What was it? Is it for real? Am I really going to talk to Antariksh? I stared myself in the mirror, no Raina, you don’t look perfect. And I headed towards the parlour, got my eyebrows done and a face clean-up. Do I need a trimming at the moment? Umm…leave it, my trimmed hair will give an impression as if I am over-excited. Yes, I am but, I should not show this. Oops! I did not call Preeti. I should tell her about that. She will be super excited like me.

Next day, when I reached school, Manav was absent. And it was Friday. It became tough for me to spend the weekend with this disappointment.

Saturday was gloomy for me. I was pissed off with Manav’s absence on Friday. Mom took me to the market for some shopping and guess what, I saw him. Yes, it was him. I knew he lives nearby but I never thought that we’ll crash like this. He even smiled at me. And

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I pretended that I did not see him. How stupid are you Raina? You fool, it was a good chance, he smiled at you and you ignored him. You deserve to be single. I agree, I did it to myself. But still I was hopeful for Monday, may be Manav comes and he makes us meet.

I was ready for the school. Rather prepared to meet Antariksh today. While on my way I was hoping to see Manav in the class. Thank god, he came. I again pretended as if his absence did not affect me and I am cool about not meeting Antariksh. During the lunch break Manav came to me but he was not alone.

I heard a voice and my heart pumped. “Hi Raina, I am Antariksh.”

Me: Yea. Hi. How are you?

Him: Fine…yea…what about you?

Me: Good. (silence)

Me: So?

Him: So…You wanted to talk to me?

Me: Me? No. I did not initiate this. Manav told me that you are single and we can give it a thought. Excuse me, if you think that I am proposing you! (how stupid I am, what if he rejects me at the same moment?)

Him: Oh, that’s fine. I mean, even I did not tell him to approach you. But if you are okay with it we can actually think about it. We can be friends? Right?

Me: Yes, Sure. I don’t mind being a friend.

Him: Cool. So tell me more about you, I don’t know much about you. And by the way, why did you ignore me yesterday. Maybe your mom was with you, that’s why?

Me: No, it’s not like that, I just did not know how to react. I am sorry…

And that is how we started talking and became friends. I wonder if I love him or is it just an infatuation? Will he confess, I doubt. We both never accepted that we liked each other and give credit to Manav for our friendship. But the point is that who will say those magical words first? Or is it really a love, my first love? Is it really how love happens?

I am confused!