Life and Death

 

‘Amar! Amar. Get up. Need to go, buddy.’

 

Amar woke up slowly and said, ‘Ouch! Ah…..., I can’t get up. My leg hurts badly. I think it’s stuck.’

 

‘Come I’ll help you.’

 

The man helped Amar to come out of his car. Amar stretched his arms and slowly walked towards a big tree which was near him with a limp. Rested his back for few seconds and took a deep breath, He looked at his car’s bonnet, which was smashed entirely after hitting on the tree and said, ‘Oh, Shit! My car. This was the brand-new car which I bought recently for 25 Lakhs. Now it looks good for a scrap….’

 

Immediately, he noticed someone in the driver seat and tilted his body to look properly. The man looked exactly like him. Amar was shocked to see the man in the driver seat covered with blood, and the man was dead. He was puzzled.

 

The man who helped him said, ‘It’s ok Amar. Relax. It’s time to go now.’

 

‘What!! Who are you? How do you know my name? Who is that man in the driver’s seat? He looks exactly like me. But I was driving the car a few minutes back. Then…...’ He stopped talking and took few seconds to realise and then said, ‘That means, am I dead? Are you here to take me? Are you the “YAMA”? You… don’t look though. You are young and look like; you are just out of the college.’

 

The man chuckled and said, ‘Hi, I am Sarathi. Too many people are dying these days. So, the boss has recruited many people like me to help him. So, I am here to take you. Shall we leave?’

 

‘No ways! I am too young to die. I am just 40 years old. God can’t do this to me. I have so many things pending. I just bought 90 lakhs house last year on home loan, my son is just 15 years old, I need to arrange money for his higher studies, my relationship is at stake, my wife doesn't love me anymore. Because I never had time for her. I worked 15 hours every day so that I can get promotion this year. Please, I can’t die. Please send me back.' Amar begged Sarathi.

 

Sarathi held his shoulders and helped him to get up and then said, ‘It’s not in my hands, Amar. It is not me who decided about your death.’

 

‘I’m not going anywhere with you. I need God, to answer my questions first.’

 

‘Questions?’

 

‘Ya. Why me? I don't have any bad habits. I don't smoke, never drank alcohol or tried drugs, never cheated on my wife. I always had healthy food, jogged every morning. Took care of my health very well. So, he took my life by an accident? Not fair. How can he do this to me.’

 

‘He didn’t do anything. You didn’t take care of yourself. You met with an accident by driving rashly. Why do you blame him?’

 

‘I am not a rash driver. I was upset, so drove a little faster to release my frustration. But, such a big punishment for my mistake?’

 

Sarathi chuckled and said, ‘Why are you worried? This is what you always wanted. Free from all the problems. Now just chill. No more, home loan commitments, office work, a nagging wife, nor any other commitments. You should be happy. You don’t know, but many people will be waiting for such opportunities.’

 

‘Oh, please… Stop it. I need to talk to your God, right now.’

 

‘It doesn't work like that, Amar. But I can help you, to know the reason for your death'

 

‘Really, tell me why?’

 

‘You had a small problem which started in your childhood and grew in years to cause your death.'

 

‘Stop talking in riddles. Please tell me what was wrong?’

 

‘Hmmm. Ok, though I am exhausted, I still would spend some time to clarify your doubts. But rather talking why don't we just watch?’

 

‘What do you mean?’

 

Sarathi snapped his fingers, and soon a big 3 seater sofa came sliding near their legs, and dim light lamps popped up on each side of the sofa making the ambience soothing. The broken car and a big tree vanished making a big empty space for them to watch his life scenarios live.

 

Amar got shocked and stood speechless and asked, ‘What's happening?' 

 

‘Just creating the ambience. We have much-advanced technologies.’ Sarathi winked his eyes. And asked, ‘Want popcorn?' Sarathi snapped his fingers, and immediately he was holding 2 big bowls of popcorn.

 

‘What? Are you kidding? I just lost my life because of a stupid accident, and you are offering me popcorn?' 

 

‘Chill buddy. Anyways we need to watch your entire life, so why not just enjoy the moment. Moreover, I get to eat all these junk food, only when I come here. There is no junk food in heaven, you know? And I can have as much as I can when I come here without worrying about losing my life.' He chuckled and winked his right eye.

 

Amar got irritated by Sarathi’s emotionless talks. Soon, Sarathi snapped his fingers twice, and the lights were switched on over the empty space, and it got transformed into his Montessori classroom. Amar was shocked to see his first-class room and a small smile emerged on his face.

 

Sarathi sat comfortably on the sofa and said while munching his popcorn, ‘So, this is where it all began, buddy.’

 

‘This is my first-class room. I went to Montessori here. So, I had the problem from my birth?’

 

‘No, Amar. It all started from here.'

 

‘What do you mean?’

 

‘If you just sit on the sofa and watch, we can do this much faster.’

 

Amar frowned and sat beside him and looked at his classroom. Soon he saw his mother carrying him, and he is crying uncontrollably. His teacher came and grabbed him literally from his mother and closed the classroom door. Baby Amar was scared and started crying harder gasping in between and kicking the teacher continuously. He was then made to sit beside the other children. He looked at others who were also crying and continued to cry. Immediately the teacher brought a big stick from her cupboard and banged hard on the table and said, ‘Enough…. Stop it.' All the children were shocked by the sound. Few children remained silent whereas, few still crying with a lower voice. The teacher banged on the table again and said, ‘Now if I hear any sound. I'll put them in the dark room. I am not joking. There is a room beside this classroom, which has no lights. There are so many insects and lizards inside that room. Don’t know what else is hiding in that room. Now, who wants to find out what else is there?’ Now, all the children remained silent even baby Amar. The lights went off.

 

Amar couldn’t understand. He looked at Sarathi and asked, ‘What was the problem?’

 

‘Aww…. You were so cute in your childhood, Amar.’

 

Amar ignored his complement and asked again, ‘So… What was the problem?’

 

‘Didn’t you see?’

 

‘See, what! Please, be specific. I don’t understand your expressions.’

 

‘Ok. Ok. Your teacher just implanted something in you, which you had never experienced before.’

 

‘What is that?’

 

‘“FEAR”. She just implanted fear in you.’

 

‘You mean I died because of fear?’

 

‘Not exactly. But this was one of the reason. For your death.’

 

‘I don’t get it.’

 

‘See, people don't realise how fragile is mind, in childhood days. The brain is very efficient. It follows its instructions and works accordingly. But the mind doesn't have any set of rules. It works as and when it learns new things. The choice is ours. How we want it to use the learning. If we don't understand our learnings, the mind can manipulate things very well. Your teacher implanted fear in you. You never experienced it before, so fear took control, and you started getting scared of each and everything after that. Was it necessary to scare children to get the attention? Why can’t the Montessori classroom be conducted in a park environment. Teachers can play with them and get friendly with them. Then children will automatically like them and will surely listen to them.'

 

‘So, this, is it?’

 

‘No. Let's, continue.' Sarathi snapped his fingers twice, and the lights switched on over the empty space, and this time, it was in his old rent house, the dining hall. Amar looked at his house and It was a dinner time and his mother brought a hot pot of curry and placed it on the dining table. Soon, Amar came running from his room and sat on the dining chair and said, ‘Mom! Please come fast. I am hungry, let's have.' Soon his mother came and sat beside him. The doorbell rang, and Amar ran and opened the door. He saw his father and hugged him and said, ‘Dad, do you know I, cooked dinner tonight. Good that you came early, let's have dinner together.' His father held his right hand and dragged him inside and said to his mother, ‘His principal had called me today, he has flunked in maths in his mid-term exams. He is losing interest in studies, but you are not at all bothered. You are teaching him cooking? He is a boy. He needs to study and become an engineer one day.' He then looked at Amar and said, ‘I couldn't do engineering so, I’m getting peanuts every month. Life is not as simple as it looks, Amar. It’s a race. If you don’t focus, someone else will win the race. Stop all these and focus on your studies. Now go and study. You'll not get dinner tonight, this is your punishment. Now go…' He yelled, and the lights went off.

 

Amar was again puzzled and asked, ‘Isn’t it common. All fathers do that. I can relate to him as I am also a father now. He just wanted me to get good marks so that I can join a good engineering college. What's wrong with it?'

 

Sarathi said, ‘Your father was a good man. I understand he had so much of responsibility and he had very less salary package to manage all his commitments. But, that day you experienced one more deadly disorder called, “STRESS”. This stress haunted you whenever you had your exams. Especially your board exams and engineering exams. Your father always thought you will be happy if you get more salary. So, think and tell me, were you happy? You had good salary package, you owned 4 bhk house, brand new car, some cash is also deposited in the bank.’

 

Amar was silent, and Sarathi continued, ‘I agree, you need money to be happy in this materialistic world because humans made few rules. But how much money you actually need, to be happy. Why only engineering or doctor? Why not a chef or an artist? Our salary doesn’t decide our happiness. Parents send their children to schools and colleges thinking they will study and choose good professions one day, but these schools and colleges taught children only the subjects and indirectly built their stress levels from the very young age. Few people also think stress helps their children to study harder. Is it, really?

 

‘So, what is your point? Did I die because of stress?’

 

Sarathi looked at him and said, ‘You people never take stress seriously, do you? Ok. Your death was not of a sudden attack, but it was created in years, and stress was part of it. A small fear grew in you to become stress, and it further grew in you to become….'

 

‘What?’

 

Sarathi snapped his fingers twice, and the lights were switched on over the empty space again, and this time it was a small coffee shop. Amar was 17, and he was having coffee with his girlfriend. He had proposed her recently, and they were on their first date. Amar’s father saw them and confronted them. He slapped Amar and told him to forget her. She was his first girlfriend, and he was genuinely in love with her. He couldn’t understand how to cope up with his feelings. He started hurting himself by cutting slits on his arms to control his emotions. By now, his stress had already made a permanent stay inside him, and soon, it brought along “DEPRESSION”. It changed him completely. He never took decisions by himself, never appreciated his talent and lost confidence in him. The lights went off and Amar was silent still thinking about his first love.

 

‘Hey! Are you ok?’ Sarathi asked.

 

‘Hmmm…. Sometimes I thought, if I had married my girlfriend, would my life be anything different?’

 

‘I understand, how you felt. Maybe your life would have been different if, your father sat beside you to understand your feelings and gave you an opportunity to realise whether you were really in love or it was just an infatuation. But because of his emotional pressure towards your studies rather than concerned about your feelings, caused you to get into depression. This depression never left you. You experienced it whenever you got less marks in exams, when you were rejected from interviews and when your boss pointed at your mistakes.

 

Amar sadly said, ‘I don’t know what to say? Did I die because of Depression?’

 

Sarathi shook his head and snapped his fingers twice. This time it was his office cubical.

 

‘Hey! Amar. You are still in office? You were supposed to go today on a trip with your family, right? Amar’s colleague asked.

 

‘Ya. But, the boss wanted me to finish all my task before leaving. The appraisal is near, and I don't want to take any chances. I must get promotion this year. I have worked very hard for 3 long years, even boss has told me, he has recommended my name. So, I don’t want anything to go wrong this time. I can go on a trip after this appraisal.' He finished his work around mid-night and reached home. He switched on the lights of the hall, and his wife was sitting on the sofa waiting for him. 

 

He looked at her and asked, ‘Didn’t you sleep yet?’

 

‘What else I have in life? All my life is wasted just waiting for you. I had just asked one holiday, and you couldn't give me that?'

 

‘Come on, Riya. You know how things are in office. I just need time until appraisal. I’m doing all these for us, for our secured future.'

 

‘Huh? This is your signature dialogues. Every time, you have the same dialogues whenever we asked for a family trip. I feel I wasted my 17 years with you. Never once I saw you happy with me. I tried my best to understand you, supported you but now, I can’t. Enough.’

 

‘Hey! Riya. Don't talk like this. I have provided everything for you both. Big 4 bhk house, Branded car, an International school for Vivek, from where does the money come for all these? Do you even know how many loans and commitments I have? Home loans – 90 lakhs, car loan – 25 lakhs, every year Vivek's school fees itself is around 3 lakhs. I am doing everything for you guys, and you are still blaming me?'

 

‘Enough, Amar. I never asked for a big house, or a branded car and not even suggested to join Vivek to International school. It was your sole decision. So, don’t blame me for that. I always asked you only one thing. To spend some time with me. Is it too much to ask? I can't beg you anymore. You do whatever you want…' She went into her room and shuts the door.

 

Amar got frustrated with her constant nagging about spending time. He decided to walk out of the house and started his car. He didn't know where to go, but he just speeds up thinking about his life's demands which were never-ending. The words of his father, wife and boss rambled around his thoughts, which made him increase the speed of the car. The road was empty and dark, but he was re-living in his every moment that made him looked incapable. The depression welcomed a new disorder ‘ANXIETY'. He suddenly felt uneasy and couldn’t breathe properly. He started sweating heavily and couldn’t control the speed of the car. He turned the wheel to the left to pull over and, instead of breaks, he pressed the accelerator. Soon he dashed the big tree nearby, and the lights went off.

 

Now, Amar was shocked to see his death live. He understood his death reason and looked at Sarathi and said, ‘I ruined everything. I wish I had known what I was going through in my mind. I would have lived differently. I only wish my son doesn't make the same mistakes, which I did. Because I behaved exactly like my father with him.'

 

Sarathi looked at him and said, ‘What differently you would have done?’

 

‘Maybe I can’t change my past, but I would have definitely changed my future.’

 

‘Sarathi smiled and said, ‘Go change your life. Because there is always a second chance. Don't let down my decision. Because my appraisal is in the near future.’ He winked his eyes and vanished. Soon Amar felt dizzy and fell to the ground. When he opened his eyes, he saw himself in a hospital room and his wife and son weeping sitting beside him. He couldn't believe that he actually got his second chance. He looked at his wife and said, ‘I am sorry, please don't leave me. Give me one chance, and I won't let you down.'

 

‘I'm sorry, Amar. I shouldn't have behaved that way.' She hugged him and cried. He consoled her. 

 

After few days Amar was discharged, he sold his 4 BHK house and bought a small 2 BHK house. He quit his job and used his savings and opened a small restaurant. Where he cooked, and his wife helped him. He removed his son from the international school and joined him to a good school near his house. He gave ample time to his family, enjoyed cooking which was his passion from childhood and lived happily without any mental stress.

 

After few days, his son came to him holding his marks card and said, ‘I'm sorry dad. I scored very less in mid-term exam. I promise next exam I'll try hard. Please forgive me.'

 

Amar smiled and hugged his son and said, ‘It's ok. It's just an exam. Don't worry. These marks never decide our future. We both can sit together, and I'll help you in your studies. Still, if you don't get it, just remember we have plenty of options in life than doctor or engineer.'