Kanyadaan

Let me and my daughter live through ashes….

Mohan babuji was the retired headmaster of a government school in Madhopur district of Varanasi. His original name was MOHAN LAL TRIVEDI but the whole of Madhopur called him Guruji/ babuji etc. He was a poor man with no possession other than the love and respect that he had earned in that city. He was the man of principles - The man of words. It was 20th Dec 1995 when his beautiful wife Gomati Devi died of pneumonia and due to lack of any proper treatment due to their financial conditions. Varsha, who was then 2 years old, was the only daughter of Mohan Lal and Gomati Devi.

After her mother had passed away he had played both the role of father and mother in bringing her only daughter. Varsha grew up playing on the Ganga Ghats, watching aarti , listening to kirtans and to all Vedas , mantras that echo in the city of temples. She was so talented, charming and beautiful that she was lovingly called Rajkumari. Elderly people used to call her Rani bitiya.

She grew up as a very kind hearted and sensitive girl. Mohan Lal was now in his 60’s and was worried about her only daughter as she grew up. He started his search for the bridegroom for his only daughter whom he used to love more than his own life or more than anything in this world. Finally, a proposal came from a far-flung village of the same caste and a well – settled family. Anshu, the to be bridegroom was in U.S for last 5 years working in some MNC firm which he used to tell to his parents and relatives in India. Mohan Lal was extremely happy and sad simultaneously. He was happy for her only daughter to get such a well –settled cultured family and was sad because he was now going to lose a part of himself. She was his life and hope after Gomati had died.

He started making all kinds of arrangements for the marriage and finally Varsha and Anshu got married . He had done all the best possible from his end and it was one of the best marriage in the locality. Firecrackers, shehnai and all were played. The Whole of Madhopur had gathered in the marriage to celebrate the ceremony and to see her Rajkumari in the wedding attires and to bless her. Both Varsha and Mohan Lal’s eyes were wet with unshed tears . They were talking to each other in unspoken words as though if any words can break their hearts. Both were missing Gomati and finally it was the time of Kanyadaan when Mohan Lal finally broke up and couldn’t hold up his tears and he started crying inconsolably. Both Varsha and Mohan Lal were now crying loudly and it was then when the elderly people’s consoled both father and daughter. Ultimately she left her father’s house and went to in-laws house. For about a month she was happy in her life with lots of love, respect, and everything. She used to call her father thrice daily till the first month. After a month, his husband told her that his leaves are now about to get over and that they need to go to the US. With big dreams in her eyes and fear of adjusting to a completely new place and that too of entirely different culture, language, and everything she finally left with him for U S .

For the first time, she was boarding the flight and was nervous, but the feeling of joy that she is flying to start a new life was exciting. Before the takeoff, she had in her childish innocent voice asked him “How does the world look like from above? Isn't is scary looking down? You must always be taking flights to come home, don't you?"

To all her silly questions he had smilingly answered, “Now you are going to see a new world.“

Finally, after a long journey both arrived in the US at night and went to their house. Whole of the house was shabby and smelling bad. She started cleaning and keeping of all household goods in proper place. She opened a cupboard and was shocked to see bottles of Beer, whisky, and Wine.

Varsha very slowly and gently asked, “ Do you drink” ?

Anshu answered very calmly “No. My friends used to come to my place to have parties as all are bachelors so they keep all these here."

Varsha went ahead with cleaning and placed everything properly. Days were passing by happily and she was feeling blessed to see many beautiful things in her life least aware of what now destiny was going to play with her. After a month, one day Anshu came quite late at night and she was shocked to see a drunken Anshu.

“Did you drink?”

Before answering her anything he slapped her and told “Yes, I drank and who are you to ask me?"

"But you told you don’t drink," she continued.

“Yes, but I lied, if you don’t like me drinking, Go to Hell.” He told and went inside in a drowsy state.

She was now numb in shock. The whole of earth was slipping beneath her feet and the slaps and words were all echoing in the room. She could neither believe her eyes nor her ears. Her heart was torn up into bits and pieces. She broke up into tears. She couldn’t sleep that night. Gradually she got to know Anshu was a heavy drinker, and he even used drugs and gambled. He didn’t work in any IT firm but rather ran a liquor shop. She felt cheated and her life gradually turned to nothing less than hell. Quarrels and fights became part of their daily lives and it was tough for her as she lost the desire to live.

But one day Varsha came to know she was pregnant and it gave her a hope that things will change positively. She wanted to have a healthy married life and decided she will change all his bad habits and bring him to life, least aware how far he was into all these. Anshu was least concerned with her pregnancy and nothing changed irrespective of her trying. Many days and even weeks he kept away from the house and didn’t care to even check how pregnant Varsha was living.

Upon asking, where he was vanishing for days together for which Anshu replied shamelessly, “I was with my bar dancer and was enjoying my days. You are so boring and I don’t want you. I want my own enjoyment and freedom.”

With tearful eyes Vasha would beg, “Please for the sake of our baby at least, if not me”.

He again slapped her and said, “Never ever interfere”.

Anshu was highly alcoholic and he didn’t know what he is up to. Slowly days passed and finally, she gave birth to a very cute baby girl. But Anshu came to see his baby after one week in a drunken state. He took one-week-old baby in his arms and said “Hey, she is very beautiful like my bar dancers. I am going to make her a very famous bar dancer when she grows up and kissed his daughter’. Varsha came rushingly from the kitchen and slapped him and took her away from him. He then started beating her and forced her to all kinds of physical abuses.

After a week of repetitive such ordeal, one day Varsha said to him.

“You may live the life as you wish but leave me and my daughter back home in India” A tight slap was the answer for it.

Anshu was adamant with all his wishes. He wanted to use her as a substance, as a lust and also he was fearing of his exposure of his own decent image there in his own country. Finally, one night Varsha decided to move out of marriage. She took her one-month-old baby and left the house with her luggage. It was late at night and she was on the road for some taxi to the airport. It was around 1 a.m in the night when she saw a taxi coming up. She boarded the taxi least thinking of anything. She was fearless today. She was all lost. Her dreams were all shattered badly. Soon she was back into the reality when the taxi stopped with a jerk at some secluded place.

Varsha asked the driver courageously “Why have you stopped here, I asked you to take me to the Airport”.

But the driver beat her up, made her forcibly drink wine and raped her and then threw her away where she was lying unconsciously.

It was morning when she got up to realize what had happened to her last night. Everything around her seemed to be moving, she was fainting, her baby girl was crying and finally she decided to end her life but before that, she wrote a note and tied to her already tattered sari. She tied her girl onto the back and jumped over to a running train. There were splashes of thick blood on the rail track, on that engine may be never ever to get washed away. Finally, the train passed by, police arrived and a whole lot of passersby gathered there near the dead body. Investigations started and finally the note was read by a policeman.

“My mistake was I am a woman and now as my soul have already left my body, I appeal you all to satisfy your LUST. My body is still there and if you can’t, please burn me and my daughter’s body in the same pyre beside Ganga and flow my ashes into mother Ganga. Let me and my daughter live through ashes….. “