It’s Not Love, It’s Friendship

I have always dreamt of having a friend's group of my own, where nobody would leave me. They would be my best friends forever and always. I am someone who lives being surrounded by people. But I also seem to be a dodo magnet. You might wonder what that is, right? Well "dodos" are those guys who act all introvert and reserved at first and over a period of time turn into dumbos. I also don't seem to have a long-lasting friendship. If friendships don't work for me, then I should just forget about a relationship right. Why be someone's ex. So, I have always stayed clear of any crushes since I hade this "ex" phobia.in the 23 years of my life I have never had a single crush. Not in school, neither in college and mind you I was in the best college ion the city. I have never had even a celebrity crush. The most I liked about anyone was their personality traits.

A good friend of mine once said, "Dwisha, Friends are only a part of your life and not your entire life." Before that friendship was everything for me. It compensated my less than warm feelings for relationship and was one of the reasons I lost friends. When I was 22 and lost almost all my friends while going through a personal life crisis, I realized only if I had a boyfriend, at least I would have a shoulder to cry on. So then is when I started thinking of an imaginary guy and that perfect group. I read the whole of the Harry Potter series for an escape from reality and just wished if I would have such friends who would be there for me in all walks of life. Two years and many failures later, when I had lost all hope is when I met him.

My dreams didn't do him justice to say in the least and that says something because dreams specially the ones which we watch with our eyes open are perfect and flawless. Arjun was so handsome that it hurt to look at him. He appeared to have just stepped out from the carvings of the most ravishious of the Greek gods. With those storm gray eyes, that swirled in the sunlight to shades of bluish grays had a hue in them. Those were the most beautiful pair of eyes ever imagined. He was fair, with bed hair as if he had just strolled out of bed, which made sexier and full lips and long eye lashes which made him look beautiful. At over 6 feet, he was well built and lean with ripped abs and muscles and oh those arms that makes your heart beat faster. It was clear he worked out a lot but not overly muscular to make him bulky. Needless to say, he was my love / crush at first sight! But as they say, "its them who break your hearts." So, the fate was sealed that it can never go beyond friendship.

 IT's NOT LOVE, IT's FRIENDSHIP!!!

I met him through mutual friends at the said friend's i.e. Rohan's birthday party. I didn't know much about him other than the few whispered facts from a girl at the party that he was the son of the multi-billionaire business magnate Mr. Kapoor. She was Rohan's girlfriend. So far, the girl seemed to have a lot of info or I should rather say gossip on him. He had recently return after completing his masters from London Business School. He was a very reserved person and it was surprising that he was out here because he likes to keep himself. The people around him were his childhood besties. The girl with him was Shanaya and was more of a sibling then a girlfriend. She was quite the barbie doll in her cute baby doll dress but was very sharp witted and an upcoming interior and fashion designer. One of the guys and also known as his shadow/ right hand was Karan. They are inseparable like Karan-Arjun and were also together at LBS. Last but not the least was Sam. He was a doctor and was working on becoming a neurosurgeon, was quite the Casanova and charmer.

All of them seem to have stepped out of a cover from the GQ magazine. Shanaya was a short cute blond with curls and waves and perfectly made up face. She screamed a fashionista through and through. Karan was also lean built like Arjun but had military cut short hair and a very serious face with a sharp jaw which was clean shaved. I wasn't sure about the color of the eyes but they seem more chocolate brown. He wore a blue checkered shirt rolled up sleeves and black denim jeans. Sam was more laid back with a faux leather jacket and ripped jeans and had the face of a blond angel. No doubt girls swooned all over him. But Arjun stood out like being under a spot light with a light gray shirt and black jeans. It seemed like Sam was friends with Rohan and had got along his friends.

Soon the party shifted to the dance floor. I stayed behind since I dint know many people except Rohan and his gf. Among the other few who stayed behind was Arjun and Karan and Shanaya and Sam seemed to have the time of their life. It was evident they were quite the party animals. Both the guys were drinking beers and seem to attract lot of female attention but they denied joining them. In the corner was a man in a sharp suit, alert and vigilant, surveying the crowd and room, who thanks to the gossip, I knew was Taylor, Arjun's security detail. In that moment was when Arjun looked in my direction and right at me.

It was like I had lost contact with time and space. His face was of polite disinterest but his eyes seemed to be taking in every detail. Never was I good with direct attention. I am 5 feet 6 and look better than the average population I say so myself. I wore a high wasted blue denim jeans and a white crop top with baby pink hearts and white sneakers. I wasn't a big fan of heels and dresses and jeans and sneakers were my go-to option. My hair was up in a high pony tail with loosed tendrils that framed my face, with mascara and a touch of lip gloss for makeup. But the look he gave me was not of "you look more a tomboy then a girl" but of someone who liked to see that I was comfortable being me. I was the first to look away and it felt like it had been minutes and not just a few seconds. As the party wound down so did the crowd and it was just us handful people. I didn't know if I would see him again and I wanted to know more about him. For the first time in life I was interested in knowing more about a guy. That was the first night I dreamt of those bluish gray eyes and stormy clouds.

My dream job has always been to go an Investment Banking Analyst and this internship was the first step to it. This was the reason I did my MBA in Finance and now I get to live my dreams. But I dint know that some dreams I hadn't dreamt of would also come true. When I reach office the sight that greeted was so unexpected that I came to a sudden halt and the person behind me literally ran head first into me. There on the opposite side of the glass door was the Bollywood cliché duo Karan-Arjun. As he looked up to what was the commotion about, his eyes clashed right with mine and they held shock and interest. I felt giddy and my face felt like it went pink from the scrutiny. His face turned from surprised to interested to amused and then he smiled. Oh My God! Seriously, was that a dimple? He just looked too good to be true. In office formals, he looked as delicious as he did in casuals. Even Karan looked impeccable. Looks like 3 of us would be working together for the next 6 months.

We worked well as team and as days passed; we became fast friends. We had lunch together. Arjun was choosy about the people he let in as people had more interest in his name than him as a person. But somehow, he was assured that I wasn't like the other girls. So, I was also a part of their group now though I feel Arjun had a little crush on me since Shanaya said I was among the very few girls Arjun called friends. The group was a very active group. They sang, they danced, they played. Each weekend they would do one activity. Some days it was gym, CrossFit, self-defense training. Other days it was playing guitar, dancing. Shanaya was all in belly dancing and Bollywood, Karan liked Salsa and Arjun was a very good dancer but it didn't participate much and Sam was Sam. Never serious about anything and always goofing around. But Arjun was different around me. He laughed more, talked more, even helped me train and dance. Karan was my twin soul. The kind of understanding we had, its like being on a twindar (twin-radar). My crush on Arjun always made me conscious around him but Karan was my go-to person. Living with Shanaya was living on a continuous high. The girl didn't know the meaning of settling down. She was always jumping from one thing to another. How she kept track of thing was beyond me. Arjun's sister was a welcome surprise. She was very friendly and had the most adorable daughter on planet earth. Hailey was the girl after my heart. Everything was laughter and giggles around that little Hailstorm. That's what we called her. Our own Hailstorm.

It's been 2 years with them and life couldn't get any better. Life with them was heaven on earth. Though Arjun could get a tad bit protective and possessive of his friends, Karan kept things in balance. I also joined Kapoor Industries a year ago and we were the famous 3 musketeers. We gave each other over the top gifts on our birthdays which generally were getaway trips to exotic places for weekends or as our schedules permitted. Shanaya is now a well-known name in the Fashion industry and has her own line. People would say she would have her hands full but Shanaya being her, she was also a renowned interior designer. Karan is one of the best neurosurgeons in the country and is always gone for long durations and getting hold of him is possible only once in a month. Hailstorm's now 3 and there doesn't go a single day without seeing her whatever the schedule be.

Yesterday Arjun proposed to me. Even though I wanted to say yes, I wasn't ready. I asked him to understand that relationships had no meaning to me and friendship meant more to me. He deserved someone much better but Arjun got down on one knee and said, "its not relationship I want from you, but I want you to know that you my more. More to like, more to love, more to live. Forever and always."

 IT's NOT LOVE WITHOUT FRIENDSHIP!!!

I know I am commitment phobic and I know in future there wouldn't be a future but as long as its with him, even the present was enough. He knows about my reservations towards marriage and he swore that he wouldn't pop the question, that he was warned beforehand and was well aware. There was a new bond between us, one more strong. A new closeness. But he didn't burden me with the tags of a relationship. We were still the same yet the equation a bit complex. Life was too good to be true and that's how reality made itself known.

My parents knew what I felt about marriage and still left no stone untorn to convince me. Arjun and I have been dating for two years know and recently he finally proposed me to be his girlfriend and this time I did agree. It was like I was all his dreams come true. But now the reality was throwing curve balls towards us. Arjun's parents had started talking about marriage. Though they didn't know what our equation was but they weren't completely clueless. When Arjun denied any plans of marriage in the near future his mom approached me. That's when things went down the hill. When I wouldn't be convinced, she asked me to leave him. I couldn't be the reason for Arjun to sacrifice his life in vain. She wanted me to either give him a future or let him have one of his home. I didn't want his mom to play villain in his life when all she wanted was his good so I took the blame on me that I was exhausted from the burden of this relationship and wanted an out. I encouraged him to meet potential life partners.

I left the city without notice and made Arjun swear that if he has really ever loved me than he would move on with his life. Arjun's dad put me on a confidential project in another city and so I didn't have to disappear from the face of earth yet gave me the escape I needed. My parents were equally upset about all this. Arjun mom got him the best proposals for marriage but it was like Arjun had emotionally shut down. He didn't sleep, wouldn't eat and had stopped reacting to anything. He had a big fight with his mom and told her he didn't want to marry anymore. What worth was a marriage if it didn't bring him happiness. It was Arjun's sister who was the story turner. Ironically this was a déjà vu for her as her marriage had happen in similar circumstances however her in-laws had been very understanding. If it weren't for their support she would exactly be where I was today. Realizing this Arjun's mom called me home and apologized for not understanding my feeling towards his son. Seeing Arjun after so long felt like I could finally breath. It felt like I wasn't just breathing but living.

Its been years since our story began. I went from no affection in life to being surrounded by so much love, it consumed me. And Arjun was the best thing that could have happened to me. He loved me unconditionally and irrevocably. Everyday he made me believe more in us. Even though I am still not ready for marriage yet but I am ready to be in a relationship. Coz I now know

IT's NOT JUST FRIENDSHIP, IT's LOVE!!!