IrrFAN

"Mohabbat hai isliye toh jaane diya. Zidd hoti toh baahon mein hoti."

These aren't mere words. They are feelings of a broken heart. A heart that will never forget the person it once loved. This dialogue still makes my heart heavy. You know, you sometimes sit in your balcony when the whole city is silent and you open your box of memories. Some forgotten ones, some unimportant ones and some, the special ones. They are the memories that make you sad and happy at the same time. So, this dialogue from the 2015 Bollywood movie 'Jazbaa' touched me when I heard it from you Irrfan sir. And, ever since then it has taken a permanent space in my heart. 

As a child, I always loved Indian cinema but never understood you as an actor. But, when I entered adulthood, I started understanding cinema and I realized maybe I will never ever love any actor more than you.

If I talk about when did I start noticing you as an actor, then it would be your character 'Yusuf Pathan' from the 2004 movie "Aan: Men at Work". You were a part of Bollywood since the late 80s but you grabbed my eyeballs in Aan. And, ever since then, I made sure I watch you more and more. 

This great dialogue from the movie 'Life in a Metro' said so less but meant so much more.

"Yeh shehar hum mein jitna deta hai...badle mein kahin zyada hum se le leta hai."

By the time you delivered 'Pan Singh Tomar', you had made me your ardent fan. And, that dialogue from this cinema gem "Beehad mein to 'Baaghi' hote hain, 'Dacait' milte hain parliament mein!" is still hard to miss. Saajan Fernandes' 'Lunch Box' is still one of my favorite performances. You just acted with your eyes in that movie and no wonder why that movie recieved so much love from the critics. And, yes how can I forget one of the masterpieces of Tigmanshu Dhulia 'Saheb, Biwi aur Gangster Returns'. You as 'Raja Bhaiyya' was such a treat to watch on the screen.

The 2014 adaption of William Shakespeare's Hamlet- 'Haider' was one of its kind. The movie gave Indian cinema its many unforgettable performances. One of them was you playing 'Roohdar' and that dialogue still sends chills down my spine.

“Darya bhi main, darakht bhi main...Jhelum bhi main, Chinar bhi main...dair bhi hoon, haram bhi hoon… Shia bhi hoon, Sunni bhi hoon, main hoon pandit… main tha, main hoon aur main hi rahoonga.” 

Talvar's Ashwin Kumar is still one of the finest portrayals of an investigating officer. This movie 'Piku' still brings a smile on my face. You as 'Rana Chaudhary' was like a breath of fresh air in that movie. Blackmail, Qareeb Qareeb Single, Karwaan....these movies made me a fan of non-commercial cinema. 

'Raj Batra' of 'Hindi Medium' is still one of my favorite comic roles of Bollywood. Its spiritual sequel and with a heavy heart I say, your last released movie 'Angrezi Medium' is everybody's favorite. Nobody could do Champak Bansal better than you. The way you rubbed Radhika Madan's nose while giving tea to her makes me so emotional. And sometimes when I watch that 'Ek zindagi' song, I feel like you will rub my nose too and say...

"Mai kahi nahi gaya, yahin hun."

Why did you leave us so early? 

I want another sequel of Saheb, Biwi aur Gangster. Maybe I was waiting for more roles like Raj Batra. We weren't prepared for this. All we wanted to hear was...

"Irrfan Khan is back on the sets of 'any yet to be finished gem of Indian cinema'."

Had you stayed for a little longer, then this dialogue from '7 Khoon Maaf' would have made more sense to me...

"Ik baar to yun hoga, thoda sa sukoon hoga... na dil mein kasak hogi, na sar mein junoon hoga."

But, you know what, you made something more meaningful and powerful than this one...and that is the dialogue from Life of Pie...

"I suppose, in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye."

In the end, all I can say...

"Total teen baar ishq kiya, aur teeno baar aisa ishq matlab jaanleva ishq, matlab ghaghor hadd paar."

This dialogue from Qarib Qarib Single is what I dedicate to you.

The only change I will make...

Not just teen baar, every time I loved you....it was always ghanghor and will always be hadh paar.

Sir, I wanted to see you receive best actor award for Angrezi Medium.... I wish you had more time.

You will be with us. Like forever through your work.

Yours truly,

Always an IrrFAN Khan fan❣️❣️

PS: It will always feel like a personal loss.

#IrrfanKhan #RestInPeace