Conflict of a Girl

Conflict of a Girl

By

Kotra Siva Rama Krishna

The story briefly;

Sirisha who was a fifteen years aged girl and was studying tenth class, became completely upset when she came to know that her mom was pregnant and was going to give her a sibling just in some six months or so. The sudden fear which Sirisha has was; her dad could not expend amount for her medical studies while looking after another child also. Moreover she does not like sharing any of hers with another sibling either it was a brother or sister. She went even to that extent to demand her mother for abortion of her pregnancy. Because of her stubbornness and persistence, both of her parents were yielded to her demand and her mother became ready to get the abortion of her pregnancy. Just at the moment when her mother was about to have the abortion, a transformation has taken place in Sirisha and she just pleaded her mother not to have the abortion and let her have the sibling. How the transformation has taken place in Sirisha, what really caused that transformation and what happened before that transformation is the story ‘Conflict of a Girl’ with 29,000 words.

Disclaimer

The concept, plot, story, characters and everything in this novel are only fiction and emerged only out of the imagination of this author. If anything in this story or even a small part of it resembles, similar or identical to any living or dead or to any literature, anywhere in the world even remotely it is only coincidental and this author has no knowledge whatsoever of it.

About me

I am an Indian English writer write mostly fiction books and so far I have written forty seven books out of which forty five books are romantic, psychological thrillers and the remaining two are non-fiction books, Body, Mind and You and English Grammar Simplifier. The word count of my books range from 15,000 to 3,50,000 and the total word count of all my books is more than 40,00,000 (Forty Lakhs Words). I have a weakness, I don’t get the feeling that I wrote the book if someone else edits the same, so I am my own editor to all my books. As such there is a pretty chance that you may come across grammatical, verbal mistakes, incongruities and inconsistencies while going through my books, then please pardon me and go ahead. I am always open as much as possible when it comes to sexual narrations in my books as I think sex is very main and natural characteristic not just in human beings but in all other creatures also. So you can find sexual narrations in my books graphical, absolute and complete. My heart-felt thanks to all those who have been reading my books all along, encouraging me and supporting me.

Conflict of a Girl

By

Kotra Siva Rama Krishna

“Mom, I can say something by just looking into your face. I don’t know about what but you are worrying a lot.” While sipping her Horlicks at the table Sirisha said looking straight into her mom Sanjana’s face. The quite uneasy expression in the face of her mom made her get that doubt and she just would not feel good if for anything her parents not feel good especially her mom.

“You are imagining it just like that, nothing more.” Her mom Sanjana slumped in the chair next to her at the dining table with a coffee cup in her had. “Except for the point you are not eating well, there are no other things to me to worry about.” Taking sips of her coffee Sanjana said.

Usually her mom do talk with her such type of matters while looking into her face with love and affection and her trying not to look into her face confirmed the same thing to Sirisha. Her mom was indeed troubling herself a lot for something.

“I am drinking this Horlicks instead of coffee however much difficult it is to me. I have been following the diet you have planned for me without fail. If I do eat anymore than the food you are arranging for me, my stomach would split into two.” Still looking at the side of her mom Sirisha said.

Once again Sanjana looked into the face of Sirisha and laughed for the first time on that day but the uneasiness was just so in her face. “I used to eat double to you at your age you know! I now also do eat like that!”

“But still you could maintain such lean personality, beautiful figure and made a handsome person like dad to fell in love with you!” with a surprising expression in her face Sirisha said. “Now also I do hear comments that you are the most beautiful woman and correct match to our dad.”

“Not just that, those don’t fail to comment that you are also as much beautiful as I am!” Sanjana put her right hand around her daughter and kissed on her right cheek facilitating her daughter to have a good look into her face. “But I do always think we both are ordinary looking just like the other women.”

In the beginning Sirisha also thought like that; that she was an ordinary girl just like any other girl and whoever were commenting like that were commenting so to get some favours from her parents as her parents were in a position to help. But when the teachers and other girls also commented like that and she sensed the envy feeling of the girls also, she understood that those comments were not just empty comments. But the fact that she was beautiful always made her uneasy and uncomfortable rather than happy.

Sirisha put the Horlicks cup on the table, stood up without relieving herself from the hold of her mom, returned the kiss of her mom on her left cheek and said still looking straight into her face. “But one thing I am sure here mom. You are worrying about something a lot but don’t want to share that with me. If you don’t share that thing with me, I have to consider you just as a mom but not as a friend.”  

“You are absolutely right dear!” lowering her face her mom said. “But this is not something I don’t want to share with you. This is something specifically I want to share with you but don’t know how to do that.”

“But why mom, why so?” Sirisha slumped in her chair again and took her mom’s right hand into her hands and squeezed it gently. “We do share many a thing without any reservation. I don’t keep anything of me without telling that to you whatever it may be and it is vice versa. I just cannot even imagine that there are things you cannot share with me easily.”

Her mom relieved her hand from the hands of her daughter, cupped her face in her hands and leaned back in the chair. Now anxiousness also has started in Sirisha thinking what really that thing which her mom could not share with her with a free heart and what that was making her mom worrying so.

“Mom, this moment, in this moment itself you have to tell me what it is? I just cannot bear this suspense and feeling lot of anxiousness also. I promise you I don’t tell this to anyone else even to dad also, if you don’t want, but you must tell me what it is now itself.” Her anxiousness was amply reflected in her face and voice also.

“I just don’t know how do you react once you hear it!” removing her hands from her face and looking into the face of Sirisha, Sanjana said.

“What the bloody hell I do react? My love on you does remain the same always and it is so to you also and you too very well know about it. Just tell me what it is mom?” Now Sirisha was feeling lot of irritation also.

“Can you promise that to me? Can you promise that there will be no change in your love towards me and accept whatever I say?” Putting her right hand before Sirisha, Sanjana asked.

“I just cannot understand any of this mom!” Sirisha got off from the chair she sat and angrily said. “You need a promise for this thing! I need to promise you to make you believe that my love on you just be the same always.” She paused for a second as if to control her anger and continued “If you do want to kill me with suspense and anxiousness and feel happy for that, don’t tell me about it. I have no objection. But don’t ask me to make these types of promises.” She turned fast and wanted to move away from that place.

“Just a moment dear. I do tell you what it is.” Sirisha turned back once again when she felt the touch of her mom’s hand on her right shoulder. She stood beside her, the uneasiness in her mom’s face was increased even more and the gathered frowns were thickened than before. “I have been just struggling myself a lot thinking how to tell this to you.” She paused for a second before saying again “ I am pregnant now.”

“What? What did you say mom?” whatever her mom said were heard by her but she could not understand. “You are what?” the thickened frowns on the forehead of Sirisha just gave her a different sort of beauty.

“You heard me right darling! I am third month pregnant now.” Her mom covered her face once again with both of her hands. “You are going to have a little brother or sister just in six or so months!”

“I don’t know, I don’t know what to say.” Sirisha slumped herself in the same chair again and she understood full whatever she heard but could not digest the same. “I am going to have a brother or sister with fifteen years or so of age difference! Mom, how do people look at me and my brother or sister? They consider us both as parent and child rather than siblings.”

It was just like a whiplash to Sanjana, she hurriedly looked into her daughter’s face with hurt feeling. “It is not like that. There are siblings with more than that age gap also. My dad has a sister with twenty years age gape.”

“Those days were different mom!” Sirisha got off from the chair “But I cannot say to anyone that I have a brother or sister fifteen years young to me.”

Suddenly Sirisha was feeling lot of irritation on her mom and it was the very first time to her to feel like that on her. Along with other unpleasant things, there was something very much awkward in this which she did not like at all.

“Then you need not tell me anyone that you have a brother or sister. You just behave like you are the only child to us just like before.” there was a sort of determination in her mom’s face and firmness in her voice. The expression in her mom’s face then just confirmed one thing to Sirisha. Her mom was not at all regretting to give birth to another baby but feeling happy for it also.

“Once it takes birth, it will not at all be so mom.” With lot of venom in her voice Sirisha said. “And it is also very much awkward when your stomach has become too much big with pregnancy at the age of you. It will be very much shameful to you to appear yourself to the people with big stomach at thirty four or so of your age.” Once she understood that her mom was gloating over her pregnancy, Sirisha could not remain without saying so.

“That is my headache darling, I do bother about it.” with the same firmness her mom said making Sirisha irritated even more. “You are becoming late to the school and you may better start. We can talk these matters later.”

Sirisha moved away from that place as she did not know what to talk more then rather than with the fear that she was becoming late to the school.

&&&

“You are appearing a little odd to me.” Before the mathematics teacher entered into the class, Chandana who was the bench-mate also to Sirisha and sit beside her everyday said “You are not your usual self. Just by looking into your face, I can say that.”

“I am feeling a lot odd in myself. I just don’t know......” she was trying to say something more but then the mathematics teacher entered into the class room. “..........I tell you everything in the lunch hour.” With a hushed tone Sirisha said and stood up along with the other students there.

“It is not very much surprising! We are not that much young not to understand that dads fuck moms and pregnancies happen by that fucking.” After hearing intently whatever Sirisha has said, Chandana said. “It is just a positive proof that your dad has been fucking your mom vigorously all these days.”

“But after this long gap? I just cannot even imagine I am going to have such a small brother or sister! How anyone does feel or say if they look at us both? They do consider me as its mom rather than its sister.” Sirisha really did not feel much her friend’s talking blunt like that as she also occasionally would do such type of blunt talking.    

“Not just that, there is even more danger in that darling!” the warning expression in her friend’s face then made Sirisha feel even more anxious. “Nothing is going to be the same for you. Someone is coming into your family to share everything of you in an equal measure and whether it is a boy or girl does not make any difference. Your monopoly in your home is not going to last for long. I don’t feel surprise even the newly coming brother or sister dominates you in your home and has more of everything than you are having.”

Sirisha horrified on hearing that! She did not think about it in that angle till that moment.

“I think you are right!” with a slow voice Sirisha said while her fear was becoming even more.

“I am absolutely right. It seems that you have not yet grasped in how much dangerous quicksand you are going to sink in.” Chandana was minutely observing the face of her friend which was with gathered frowns and absolute uneasiness.

Sirisha took her lower lip between her teeth frames and started thinking furiously while chewing on that. Really there was the danger in the whole of this matter as Chandana said.

“You may better forget about your desire to become a doctor. I don’t think it will be possible to your parents to expend that much amount to your medicine studies as they have to look after another child of them also.”

“No. I cannot even imagine so.” Unknowingly yelled Sirisha. “I must become a doctor and its my life aim.”

“Try to be reasonable and logical. Is it is really possible to your parents to expend that much of money for you while looking after your sibling’s education also? Moreover we just don’t know what other plans your parents are having for that unborn sibling yet.”

Suddenly a new feeling started in Sirisha on her parents and instantly she recognised it as hate. It was the very first time that she has got such feeling on her parents.

Coming so nearly to Sirisha, Chandana said in her ear. “It is natural fucking between parents. But they have to be careful not to let these types of things to happen at their late lives. Only with the idea to bring a sibling to you onto the earth, they have unprotected sex together.”   

The just born hate feeling towards her parents in Sirisha has become tremendous in seconds after hearing that.

&&&

“At last I broke the news to Sirisha” when she and her husband Rakesh were on the bed, Sanjana said that and sighed heavily. “But that devil behaved in the same way I expected. She is not ready to accept a sibling to her. I already told you, she became so much self-oriented and monopolistic because of her being only child to us.”

Rakesh was a successful contractor and even though he started his career as a small contractor, with his intelligence and hard work he developed himself a lot and he not only became a big contractor but earned lot of money also. Sanjana and Rakesh loved each other while they were studying in college and married later with little opposition from their parents. They were the happiest couple with their only child Sirisha and the only thing that was troubling that family then was; Rakesh quite often has to go out of station on his contracting business purpose and sometimes has to stay away from home even for weeks.

“Is it is not just natural? If you were in her place, you too would have behaved in the same way.” Rakesh laughed and put his hand across her neck. “It takes time to her to digest that. Anyhow it is something awkward to her to have a brother or sister at the age of fifteen.”

“No, Rakesh. I cannot think like that. Considering the reaction in her and the way she behaved, I cannot think she ever does agree with a brother or sister to her. If it has happened when we want it so much, there would have been no problem to us. By now Sirisha would have so much accustomed to her brother or sister. But during these fourteen years or so of her all alone monopolistic life in the family made her self-oriented and cannot bear a competitor to her.” Sirish turned towards Rakesh, said and once again sighing heavily.

“My god! What is this competitor? It is going to be her blood relation, love her and like her and be with her till their lives end!” with an irritating expression in his face Rakesh said.

“But she is not thinking like that, what we can do?” Sanjana said with the same irritation in her face also. “You just cannot imagine how I have felt while she was talking like that with such expression in her face!”

“In whichever way she talked, in whichever way she behaved she is our own daughter, we also need to understand her.” Rakesh said and as Sanjana was about to say something he interrupted her and said again “Let me complete. This is not something we have not expected. We wait and see. I am confident, god who has blessed us with another child sure does get a change in her thinking also. There is no use in our becoming anxious like this now.”

“You are absolutely right dear!” she kissed straight on his lips. “How much we wished for another child after Sirisha! For years together, there was no sign, no sign whatsoever that I can become pregnant again! But suddenly now, when our daughter is quite matured, quite unexpectedly I became pregnant and going to be a mom again.”

“If we foresaw it, what we would have done? Preventing it? Took care that you don’t become pregnant again?” Rakesh asked her still looking straight into her face.

“No, I can say absolute no.” With firmness in her voice Sanjana said. “Even I have not expected it even a little bit, having another child is a wonderful thing to me. Once again I am remembering how much I wished to become mom again in those days and am feeling that much happy and excited now also to become a mom.”

“My feeling also is just the same dear. I am also feeling so much happy to have another child. Whether it is going to be a girl or boy also does not matter even though I want a girl this time. I never would have thought to prevent it even if I come to know about this happening in before. When we are in quite comfortable position to look after more than two children also, why do we try to prevent it?”

“Yes, yes, yes.” Sanjana once again kissed on the lips of her husband with a sudden happy expression in her face and hugged him strongly. “I am also confident that there sure comes a change in Sirisha and everything is going to be alright for our incoming second child.”      

&&&

“Hello, dear! You are appearing to be a little late from the school on this day.”

Sirisha was so absented minded in her thinking and startled when she was addressed like that. It was Manoj the boy in the neighbouring house.

“How many times I have to tell you don’t call me as dear?” Sirisha angrily said.

“I am sorry, I forgot.” He was with a smile on his lips which was irritating to her then. “May I call you ‘darling’ then?”

“Oh, sure! Why not?” a smile was forced onto the lips of Sirisha also. “But I am with the idea of telling it to my parents. They may find even more nice word for you to address me.”

“Please, don’t do such type of a thing!” pretending fear in his face Manoj said. “If you don’t like I stop even talking with you.”

“You need not go to that extent but be careful while addressing me.” Pulling a serious expression into her face Sirisha said and after saying that without waiting anymore she entered into her house.

If Sirisha wanted, she could be more serious and made Manoj not to address her like that at the first instance itself. But from the beginning she liked that guy! Even at the age of seventeen years itself, he has a handsome personality and not just she any girl would be easily attracted towards him. Moreover, his dad who was a bank official and a close friend to her dad, came into that neighbouring house at the instance of her dad.

Manoj just remained staring at the figure of her until she disappeared completely into her house before returning into his house. He was also very much serious to become a doctor just like Sirisha and concentrated only on his studies all the time and never would give much importance to girls and games. Even though girls flocked around him in high school and were doing so in junior college also and even he was also attracted towards few of them, on only very few occasions he has given himself to that attraction and always remembered his goal.

But when it came to Sirisha he has to be compromised and could not remain without staring at her and trying to find opportunities to talk with her. He did not know or see that girl even though he knew about the friendship between his dad and her dad until they moved into the neighbouring house of her. The moment he has seen her, everything was quite different to him! To him she was not just beautiful or graceful and he really did not know what the exact word has to be used for her.

It was four years that they have changed into this house and he still could remember after six months or so after their coming into their house, she became a woman! He has got pretty well acquaintance with her by that time and he still could remember her reddened cheeks when he found her after that incident. It was just like that he found out a very much secret of her even though it was in the knowledge of some of the people then.

They would talk occasionally and she was not a girl to feel shy to talk with boys but not a type to talk freely and make friendship with all the boys and girls. Even though he was trying to make friendship with her against his usual nature, she was not giving much chance to him. The only thing that was making them to talk even little was her goal also was the same as his, to become a doctor.

He was now studying By.P.C. second year and he wanted to get as much good score as he got in first year in his second year also. He was trying to concentrate on what he was studying but the gentle swell under her shirt and the little cleavage of her which he observed just then were disturbing him a lot.

&&&

It was quite disturbing to Sanjana and Rakesh also that Sirisha finished her sapper without talking anything, retired into her studying room. They looked into each other’s faces and Sanjana nodded her head insinuating that she would talk with Sirisha. After cleaning the kitchen and arranged everything, she came into the room of Sirisha, dragged another chair near to her and slumped herself in that. She wanted to talk with Sirisha and make her understand that point but she was feeling very much uneasy to start any conversation with her.

“I don’t want to be disturbed now mom, first unit exams are due from tomorrow itself.” As if she understood the intention of her mom, Sirisha said.

“Alright dear! We do talk whenever you do feel for it.” Sanjana got off from the chair, turned back and was about to move away from that room.

“Mom, just a moment!”

When she heard that Sanjana stopped and looked into her daughter’s face with a questioning expression.

“Tell me what?” Sanjana’s heart’s speed quickened as she was expecting something unpleasant by the expression on the face of her daughter.  

“Why could not you and dad be careful?”

“What that we should have been careful?” frowns gathered on the forehead of Sanjana as she did not understand the question of her daughter.

“I know that parents do have it together. Why could not you both be careful not to cause this pregnancy?”

Then Sanjan understood that which was just like a slap to her. She moved away from that place and she did not know how she controlled herself but burst out into weeping when she entered into the bedroom.

“What happened dear? What that devil said to you?” taking his wife into her hands, Rakesh asked her.

“Do you, do you want me to put exactly what she has said?” amidst her weeping she asked him.

“Of course. Tell me what she said to you?” he became straight on the bed.

Then she controlled her weeping and said what she exactly heard from her daughter. “I was about to talk something with her but when she asked me not to disturb her as she has to write her first unit exams from tomorrow, I wanted to come away from her. Just at the moment I was coming out of that room, she stopped me and asked like that.”

“I am not surprising that she knows things of that sort. But I am feeling surprise that she put it bluntly like that without bothering that you are her mom and how do you feel about it.” With an angry and serious expression in his face Rakesh said.

“Now I am feeling fear to talk anything about this with her. And I am convinced of one thing for sure.” With a set expression on her face Sanjana said. “She never does accept another child of us.”

“Oh, please, don’t talk like that.” He relieved Sanjana and became even straighter on the bed. “When we wanted a second child, when this devil was just two years or so aged, I was just a small contractor and not having much income. But both of us did not bother about our finances and so much wished to have another child. When it has not happened even after fourteen years also, we have completely forgotten about it. I don’t know how it has happened, now you are pregnant again! Luckily I have become so much successful in my profession, earned a lot and can look after even ten children also. Even with that much of time lapse also I have been feeling so much happy to have another child. I just don’t know why our daughter is feeling like that!” with a dismal expression in his face Rakesh said.

“I can understand her feeling Rakesh. There is no surprise in that and if I were in her place, I too would have felt in the same way. It is really very much awkward to her to say to anyone that her mom has become pregnant now and she is going to have a small brother or sister.” 

On hearing that Rakesh remained silent as he did not know what to say.

“But I am also as much happy as you are to have this child Rakesh. I am just remembering how much I wished to have a second child at that time. But I must say God who has graced us with a second child sure does change the heart of our daughter and she accepts it. I am confident about that.” With sudden firmness in her voice in the end, Sanjana said.

“I am also confident just like that dear!” Rakesh gently hold her again and kissed on her right cheek. “Shall we both put ourselves into sleep again? I have lot of work to put myself into tomorrow.”

She nodded her head and after that they both themselves laid gently on the bed parallel to each other and they did not know when they slipped into sleep.

&&&

Sirisha was very much selective about friends even though she has no problem to talk with anyone and she has no friends in boys. She has only few girl friends but the only close friend to her was Chandana. The main reason for that was they both studied from L.K.G. to till then. Chandana was also beautiful and attractive even though not as much as Sirisha and even she also would get good marks, very seldom she overtook Sirisha. From then also and till now too, most of the times Sirisha was the class first. Sirisha always would feel so much intimate with Chandana and share everything of her with her. To her Chandana was the only close friend to her.

But it was not so to Chandana. In the beginning they both were just innocent close friends but from the moment she found the difference between herself and in Sirisha, a sort of jealousy and envy started in her.  She was beautiful and attractive of course but not when she was along with Sirisha. Boys’ trying always to make friendship with her and the envy of girls’ towards her beauty has made the envy and jealousy in Chandana towards Sirisha even more intensified. It was wrong to say that she has not been feeling any friendliness with Sirisha but if a situation has arisen which she could use to make her feel worry she would happily use it and now such a situation has arisen. Sirisha’s feeling angry and worrying about the incoming sibling of her was just creating happiness in Chandana and she was thinking how to use it to make her even more upset.

“Before it is too long, you have to find a way to escape from that danger!” in the playing hour when Sirisha sat moodily at a place on the ground, Chandana slumped on the side of her and said as if she understood about what Sirisha was thinking then.

“There is a way also to escape from this danger?” Chandana was not wrong as Sirisha was thinking about the same thing.

“Why not? It is surprising to me that you have not got this idea yet!” with a surprising expression in her face Chandana said. “If your mom has got the abortion of her pregnancy, the problem will be over forever.”

Sirisha startled on hearing that! It was not so that she did not know about abortion but indeed she has not got that idea yet. One thing she understood so far that her mom was so much in love with her present pregnancy. Could she ask her to get it aborted?

“What you are thinking? If a woman wants to get rid of her pregnancy, it has to be done in the early months of it. Advanced pregnancies cannot be aborted and it will be dangerous to that pregnant woman also.” Looking intently into the face of Sirisha, Chandana said.

“Oh, god! I just cannot even imagine something happens to my mom.” With sudden apprehension in her face Sirisha said.

“If it has happened in the beginning days itself, there will be no danger to that pregnant woman. Just make your mom agree to this abortion and then everything will be alright for you.” Looking intently into the face of Sirisha, Chandana said.

“I don’t think that I can ask like that to my mom.” Sirisha was even feeling hate on her mom that she was bringing a competitor to her onto the earth for everything she was enjoying but she was feeling very much uncomfortable to ask her mom to loss something which she did love so much!

“You have to, if you want to become a doctor. I am sure that your dad cannot expend that much for your medicine studies, if he has to look after another child also.” Chandana was still observing her in the same way. “If you can be compromised yourself to study some engineering or some other cheaper course, you may have a sibling. But don’t forget this thing also, whether it is a brother or sister to you, it would share and enjoy everything of you in an equal way to you or even more.”

“Becoming a doctor is my life aim! I cannot forsake it for anything.” With firmness in her voice Sirisha said. “And I cannot bear even the thought that someone else also will share everything I am enjoying now.”

“Then you have to be bold and courageous and ask your mom for it.” Chandana paused for a second. “If your parents do have real love and affection on you, they don’t deny it at all.”

Suddenly a determination came into Sirisha and she nodded her head. “I certainly do so.” There was the same determination in her voice also.

Then without talking anything more she got off from the place where she sat and went away. Surprisingly looking at the way she has gone, Chandana also got off from the place where she sat.

“What you both were talking?” she turned back hearing that voice and found Sarath her classmate stood behind her.

“We both friends talk many a thing! How the hell you think I do tell about that to you?” the sudden irritation she was feeling in herself at his asking so then was amply reflected in her face also.

Sarath joined in that school only three months back in the tenth class straight. He was the handsomest boy in that whole class and all the girls try to get his attention towards them but he was always trying to put himself into the notice of Sirisha but she behaved just in her usual way with him also not giving much scope to talk with her. When he came to Chandana and tried to make friendship with her she felt so much happy but when she found that his intention was to become more intimate with Sirisha, she became very much frustrated and irritated. Even though she was not as much beautiful as Sirisha, she was also beautiful and attractive! Then she could not understand why he was trying to be friendly only with Sirisha.

“Moreover what you have to do anything with whatever we did talk?” after few seconds pause while he was struggling what to say Chandana said.

“I am very sorry. I just don’t know why I have asked that question.” With a sorrowful expression in his face Sarath said. “It is very much foolishness to think about someone who does not care about us even a little, is it is not?”

Chandana’s heart instantly filled with happiness on hearing that and she has to put effort not to show that in her face. “I just don’t know what do you want to say!” pretending confusion in her face she said.

“You know I am interested in Sirisha and want to make friendship with her. But you saw how she is behaving with me not giving me any chance even to make some full-fledged conversation with her.” Suddenly there was angry expression in his face.

“What’s wrong if she is choosy about her friends especially when it comes to boys?” looking straight into his face still trying not to show her happy feeling in it Chandana asked. “Not just with you, she behaves in the same way with all the boys also. She is a conservative type and does not show much friendliness even with girls also. I am her only close friend.”

“It is not so to me before. Whatever type a girl may be, she just would become my friend when I showed even little interest on her.” The angry expression was just so in his face then also.

“This girl is not like that. Just forget about her and concentrate on your studies. You are not coming to the school to make friendship with beautiful girls.”

“But when I saw beautiful girls like you and her; I cannot remain without trying to make friendship.” Suddenly with a smile on his lips Sarath said. “Cannot we both become friends?”

Once again Chandana has to put effort to control herself from jumping with happiness. “I cannot agree with anyone if he wants to make friendship with me just because I am beautiful!” she struggled a lot to say it like that but if she wanted to keep her value with him, showing some reluctance was must. It was not the first time that he came to her and talked with her like that and he really might be feeling to make friendship with her.

“I just don’t know how to convince you that I want your friendship not just because you are beautiful.” Chandana really felt that his expression in his face was genuine then. “I am just feeling a sort of closeness between us both in everything and want to be a friend to you.”

“Hello, are you thinking that I am a fool not to notice that I am your second preference? First you tried to make friendship with Sirisha and when you understood she would not give a chance to you, you are trying to make friendship with me.” Still she was struggling a lot to control her happiness and to talk like that with him. In one way she was feeling anger on herself thinking by talking like that she might lose his friendship.

“I want to be frank with you whatever you may think about me.” Suddenly his face became serious. “I agree Sirisha is the most beautiful girl in this whole school and so far among all those girls whom I saw till now. Yes, I tried to make friendship with Sirisha Just because I have felt with her also as I am feeling with you.  Its not just the beauty I do prefer in girls to make friendship. How can I convince you that I want to make sincere friendship with you?” he paused for a second before saying again with the same serious expression. “I don’t know how you do take it. I cannot remain without appreciating beauty. If we don’t consider that Sirisha, you are the most beautiful girl in this whole school.”

“You need not tell me about it and I appreciate facts.” It was becoming more and more difficult to her to control her happiness and talk with him curtly “I agree with what you said, so what?”

“Why cannot we both become good friends?”

“I cannot understand one simple thing here!” keeping that serious expression just like that in her face, Chandana asked him. “Why should we both become friends? You already have enough boyfriends and are not they enough for you? Why do you want to make friendship with a girl?”

“I have no answer to this question!” with a sorrowful expression in his face Sarath said. “What you have said is right, why do I want to make friendship with a girl while I have enough boy friends? I am just feeling thrill and so much happy while talking with girls who are especially beautiful and intelligent! I once again be frank with you. First I wanted to make friendship with that Sirisha but she is not amicable. Now I am trying that with you.” Suddenly then his face became quite serious again. “But I can say one thing for sure here to you. If I make friendship with someone, I feel so much serious about it. They do become my heart and life. I just want you to remember this!” after saying that he went away from that place.

Chanadan remained staring at the retreating figure of him while chewing her lower lip between her teeth frames and this time she did not try to control her inner happiness to be expressed full in her face.

&&&

Chandana did not stop feeling happy even after she came to home and her happiness was in the same measure while she was trying to sleep on the bed after finishing her homework and studied for sometime. She could not concentrate much on her homework and studies also because of her disturbing thoughts.

It was quite unexpected to her that such a situation took place. It was also not new to her that boys try to make friendship with her and she too just like Sirisha never gave chance to the boys to become friends to her. But this Sarath was something special and he stole the attention of all the girls the moment he entered into the school and every girl tried to put herself into his notice including herself. His showing interest like that only on Sirisha in fact made the jealousy and envy Chandana was feeling on her even more.

But Sarath’s coming like that to her and expressed himself that he wanted to be a friend to her was just like making some amends to her ill-feeling towards Sirisha. It was not just that she always feel envy towards Sirisha and whenever she remembered how Sirisha helped her in her hard times she would feel love and affection also on her. But she just could not bear that all the boys being attracted towards her beauty, her being intelligent like that and her being born in such a rich family. When Sarath was coming to her forsaking Sirisha, it lessened substantially her envy feeling towards her and she started considering the situation then in a different angle.

She was revelling in Sirisha’s upsetting and worrying thinking about her mom’s pregnancy and she advised her to ask her mom to abort her pregnancy. In fact she advised her so to make her worrying even more. Did she do a mistake in advising her like that? Once that thinking started she could not remain peaceful and sat straight on the bed. She picked her lower lip between her teeth frames and put herself into deep thinking while chewing it.

‘No, I did not do a wrong!’ after thinking furiously Chandana came to the conclusion and released her lip. She has advised her so with an ill-motive but that was what has to be done exactly. If Sirisha’s dream has to be fulfilled, she would have no siblings. She could lead her life happily as joyfully as she did till now, only then when there were no siblings to her to share. She did not do a mistake in advising her so. Moreover, Sirisha was not a fool to accept any advice without much thinking even it was from her close friend.

Once her heart was settled with that issue, she started thinking once again about Sarath. Did she make a mistake by not accepting his proposal to become friends immediately? What if he would not try to come to her again? She started feeling regret. She was not ready to lose friendship with a handsome boy like him and if she was lucky it may lead to anything. She could sense absolute genuineness in his face and voice also and her heart was saying he would sure come to her again. But, after few seconds’ thought she came to the decision, she was not going to wait until he would come to her again.

&&&

“Mom, wait a sec!”

In the night of that day, Sanjana went into her daughter’s room to give her Horlicks and while she was returning after handing it over to her, Sirisha said. Sanjana turned back and looked into her daughter’s face when she heard her. She was not particularly trying to talk anything with her after that day.

“I want to have little chit-chat with you.”

“I am afraid that you are preparing for your unit text examinations and don’t want to be disturbed.” Pretending  some disinterest in her face Sanjana said.

“This is something very much important that I have to talk with you now itself.” There was a sort of firmness in Sirisha’s voice which made Sanjana feel uneasy. “Some ten minutes or so of talking with you don’t interrupt my studies too much.”

“Alright then. Make it fast.” Sanjana could not guess what exactly her daughter wanted to talk with her at that time but it was certainly related to her incoming sibling. “I always do feel happy to spend time with my daughter and talk with her.”

“I know about that mom. I know how much you and dad always love me.” There was a sudden happy expression in the face of Sirisha, she got off from the chair, hugged her mom and kissed on her right cheek.

“Pour your heart. Talk whatever you want to talk.” Looking surprisingly into the face of her daughter for the sudden changing in her Sanjana said and she also put both of her hands around her “I am so much curious to hear what you are going to say.”

“Mom, your present pregnancy was just automatic! Either dad or you did not expect this at all, is it is not?” with gathered frowns just looking into the face of her mom, Sirisha asked her.

“You are absolutely right dear, we did not expect this at all.” Sanjana said just in a casual way sighing heavily. “We both wanted to have a second child so much in those days. But when it did not happen again even after ten years or so also, we just have forgotten about it. How it has happened again to me I just cannot understand! It is just like a miracle and a boon from god! Even after all these years, at my thirty four years or so of age also, that idea that I am going to have another child, a sibling to you is very much thrilling to me.” Her face was suddenly filled with happiness. “I am now feeling as much happy as I was when you were in my stomach.”

“But mom, if it has not happened, I mean if you have not become pregnant again, you would not have thought about it at all, would you?” as if she did not hear what her mom has said, Sirisha said.

“Of course dear, you are right!” Sanjana could not guess at all what her daughter was going to say.

“Then mom, what difference it makes if you lose it now?” Sirisha did not know how she has put it so then as she was feeling very much uneasy to say it like that. “What I want to say is how it is if you get an abortion? This pregnancy is not expected and both you and dad do not particularly intend to have another child now.”

“What, what the bloody hell you are talking?” it did not take much time to Sanjana to digest what her daughter has said as she was in some corner of her mind expecting something like that from her but her putting it direct like that shocked her enough and that shock was amply reflected in her face also. “You are suggesting to me to kill your incoming sibling?” she relieved her hold around her daughter and relieved herself from her hold and stood up to her full height.

“Mom, don’t try to create any sentimental feeling like that in me. I am just incapable to feel like that towards it whether it is a boy or girl.” Sirisha slumped in her chair again and said with irritation. “Just think about what I have said. I came to know it will be difficult to abort a pregnancy at an advanced stage. If it has to be done, it has to be done at the early stage itself.”

“It seems that you came to know lot many things!” For a moment Sanjana forgot that she was her daughter and her heart was filled with complete anger. “Just try to think what would have happened if I got aborted my pregnancy when you were in me.”

“I need not have faced a situation like this now.” The rancour in Sirisha was just so. “Do you have any idea what type of feeling I have when my classmates say to me that your mom still sleeps with your dad and got the pregnancy? How awkward it is if you go outside with a protruding belly which tells everyone that you are pregnant again at an old age like this?”   

“Rascal! How dare you are to talk like this with me!” Sanjana slapped Sirisha on her right cheek with her right hand with all her might and instantly Sirisha burst into weeping cupping her face with both of her palms. “I kill you on the spot if you talk like this again.”

There was silence except the slow sobbing sound of Sirisha until Sanjana broke it again.

“I am going to have this child however much you oppose it. Not just because your dad and I want it so much but because I cannot be a murderess. Killing a babe in the womb is not less than killing a human being outside.” After saying that she did not say anything more and went fast into her bedroom and fell across on the bed bursting herself into weeping.

As Rakesh was not there with her to console her, she herself controlled her weeping. She expected some opposition, some unhappiness in Sirisha to have a sibling at present at the age of fifteen years but she did not expect at all that she would go to that extent to demand an abortion of her pregnancy! What the bloody hell the other things she has said? She could not bear when her classmates said to her that her parents were still sleeping together and caused a sibling to her. She could not understand how natural it was between wife and husband until she became a wife. She could understand how a woman would feel with her pregnancy only when she has become pregnant.

But what presently has to be done? Sanjana sat straight on the bed. It was appearing so that Sirisha never would accept the sibling whether it was a sister or brother to her. Putting aside whether she would accept it or not when it came onto the earth, if she worried too much about it and stopped studying and failed in her exams? She was studying tenth class, which was so much important period of her life, even she and Rakesh would not feel at all she herself would become too much upset if she could not pass her tenth class with highest marks. Sirisha was very much intelligent and studies were her top priority always.

But, could she do as her daughter suggested? She put her right hand on her stomach and the very idea itself was very much horrifying to her. How could she kill her own child with which she was feeling so happy now? Moreover ever Rakesh would agree to it? He was feeling more happy than her also to have another child.

God, god, please change the mind of our daughter and make her accept this sibling of her, she prayed intently after lying herself on the bed to sleep but for a long time she could not sleep at all.

&&&

Sirisha raged a lot when her mom slapped her so and could not concentrate at all on her social subject which exam she has to write on the next day and her performance in that exam was worst as she expected. But it just made her anger on her mom even more rather than making her realise her fault. She knew that parents do have it together for a long time and if it has not caused that unpleasant thing to her, she would not have said so at all to her mom. But now the thought that her parents have it for pleasure and which created a thing to share everything of her causing lot of unhappiness in her and making her feel rage on so natural act of parents having it together.

“You are appearing more upset than before, what happened?” when they both came out of the examination hall, Chandana asked her.

“It did not work.” Sirisha stopped and said looking into the face of Chandana who also stopped. “I asked my mom to get an abortion of her pregnancy but not just she did not agree to it but slapped me on my right cheek.”

“There is no surprise in her feeling like that. Every woman feels like that towards her pregnancy. A woman feels just like that towards her pregnancy even she got it before marriage and in an immoral way.” Chandana said.

 “I just don’t know what you are trying to say.” With an irritating expression in her face Sirisha said. “On one hand you are suggesting that my mom should have an abortion and on the other hand.....”

“On both the counts I am right!” Chandana interrupted her and said. “There is no wrong in your mom’s feeling like that but if she gets an abortion it solves all your problems. It is your responsibility to make her agree to it in an amicable way without hurting her much.”

“I just don’t know how to do it at all.” Sirisha’s face was filled with lot of anxiousness. “She is feeling so much happy to have a child and she never would agree to lose it.” She sighed heavily and said “If they both don’t prefer to have it still, this complication would not have happened at all.”

“In my opinion, there is no mistake in your parents at all for it. I said a little contrarily before that they have it together only to cause a sibling to you but I was wrong!” Chandana said. “It is so natural that parents do have it together and I know my parents are also having it. Generally they do take precautions if they don’t want a child. But here..........” she paused for a second as if to reiterate whatever she was going to say. “...........as it has not happened for such a long time even they wanted it a lot, your parents did not expect at all it to happen now. So they have it together without any protection and caused that pregnancy.”

“Alright. I agree with you.” Anyhow what Sirisha has said then made the anger Sirisha was feeling on her parents lessened a little. “But I just cannot think at all how to make my mom agree to it. Moreover even my mom agrees to it, I just don’t know how my dad would react to that.” The anxiousness was increased even more in her face.

“First you make your mom agree to it and she takes care of the rest. If she insists for an abortion your dad cannot stop it.”

“Okay” Sirisha nodded her head but still she has no idea how to do that. After the previous day’s incident, she was feeling too much awkward even to look into her mom’s face. She just did not know how she finished her breakfast, took the packed lunch box and came to the school. All the time her mom also tried not to look into her face at all. “Don’t you come with me now? Until the unit text examinations are over, there will be no school to us in the afternoons.” She said to Chandana.

“I have little work. Once I finished with it, I come. I don’t want to make you wait. You please don’t mind and move.” Chandana said. In fact the work she has then was to find Sarath to talk with him. Where the bloody hell he went off after writing the exam, she could not understand.

“No, problem. I do wait.” Sirisha felt very much surprise on hearing Chandana. It was the very first time that Chandana talked with her like that. “I am feeling very much uneasy and your company gives me some mood change.”

That made Chandana feeling a sudden discomfort which she could not refrain from expressing in her face.  

“Oh, I forgot. I have to prepare a lot for tomorrow English exam. Really I cannot wait! You may please finish your work and come when you can.” Sirisha turned back and took two steps to go away from there. The sudden discomforting feeling in Chandana made Sirisha understand that she did not really want her with her then.     

“Just a moment Siri!” when Chandana said that Sirisha turned back again and looked into her face. “I know that you finish reading your English subject in the classroom itself and you don’t need much preparation for it.”

“But it appears that you don’t like me with you now.” With gathered frowns on her forehead Sirisha said.

“We don’t have any secrets between us till this moment. I don’t want it also to be a secret.” Looking straight into the face of Sirisha, Chandana said. “Sarath wants to make friendship with me. I am just trying to find him somewhere and talk with him.”

“Really! That handsome guy wants to make friendship with you?” that news indeed got a change in the mood of Sirisha. “I really congratulate you that you are going to be a friend to him. But this is not at all news to me. Any handsome boy will easily come into your hold as you are very much beautiful and attractive!”

“But he tried to make friendship with you a lot. As you have not encouraged him at all, he came to me to make friendship with.” Chandana’s uneasiness was reflected in her voice. “Don’t you feel at all that I am stealing him from you?”

“What nonsense you are talking?” Sirisha put her both hands around Chandana and kissed on her left cheek. “Not just him, I don’t encourage anyone to become my boyfriend. Just because I have big goal in my life and I don’t want unnecessary disturbances. I feel so much happy if you both become good friends as you both appear just like for each other.”

“Oh, my god! I did not expect this at all!” Chandana also put her both hands around Sirisha and returned her kiss on her right cheek.

“Here your hero is coming!” Sirisha suddenly relieved from the hold of Chandana after relieving her. “I think he is coming here particularly to talk with you. My sincere suggestion to you is; don’t appear too much enthusiastic and be reserved to some extent.” With a slow voice she said.

Chandana wanted to say something but by that time itself Sarath came there and Chandana and Sirisha looked into each other’s faces with serious expressions.

“How you wrote your exam?” looking into the face of Chandana, he asked her.

“Just in the way I have expected to write it.” Chandana could not stop the smile that was forced onto her lips.

“That is not the exact answer to my question.” with a serious expression in his face Sarath said.

“In whichever way I wrote, what it has to do anything with you?” Chandana also pulled a serious expression into her face.

“Dear, now I have to go home. You cannot stop me.” Sirisha understood that they needed some lonely time together to develop their friendship, said that and moved away from that place.

“You are absolutely right. What it has anything to do with me? I am sorry. I don’t try to talk with you again.” He turned back and started walking away from that place.

“Just a moment please!” Chandana hastily said and when he stopped, she went near to him fast. “Do you need to become this much angry just because my answering in such a way.” By then she has completely forgotten about the suggestion given by Sirisha.

“I did not get angry for that.” The expression in his face has become amicable. “I just became upset understanding that you don’t want to talk with me and am going away.”

“How do you come to conclusions like that? Why you are thinking that I don’t want to talk with you?” the frowns gathered on her forehead then made her even more beautiful.

“But..........does that mean..........that you want to make friendship with me?” there was sudden happy expression in his face.

“By all means, of course!” Chandana could not remain without laughing happily. “Which girl does not like to make friendship with a handsome guy like you?” but suddenly her face became serious. “Are you really that much intent to be my friend? There are so many girls flocking around you.”

“But none of them are like you. After Sirisha, you are the most beautiful, attractive and intelligent in this school. Moreover, I have to have certain feeling in me to make friendship with anyone. I am feeling like that with you and wanted to make friendship with you.”

“If that Sirisha has agreed to your friendship, you never would have preferred to come to me, is it is not?” with little angry expression in her face Chandana said.

“That sure would have been the case of course if she interested to make friendship with me just because...........” he paused for a second as if to reiterate whatever he was going to say “.............once I make friendship with someone I do give my heart only to that one. Once you become my friend, only you are going to be my close friend, no one else.”

“That means you don’t have a close friend yet?” Chandana knitted her brows together.

“Yes, to that matter even in boys also I don’t have a close friend yet.” With firmness in his voice Sarath said. “I have attracted towards some girls and made little friendship with them but never have felt about them in my heart. I don’t know how to convince you about this but I am feeling about you deep in my heart.”

“Really you do mean it?” it was becoming quite difficult to Chandana to control her happiness and it was reflecting full in her face.

“How I can prove to you that I do mean it hundred percent?” with gathered frowns Sarath said. “It is upto you whether to believe it or not.”

“Oh, I believe it!” Chandana said and proffered her right hand towards him. “From now on we are going to be good friends.”

The feeling she has when he took her right hand into his right hand and squeezed it gently, she just could not explain in words. If just the touch of a hand was like that, how the other things would be, it was impossible even to imagine!

&&&

“Mom, ever you have felt so much happy in your life?” that happy feeling was just so in Chandana even after she reached home and once she finished her sapper and before going into her room for studying, she asked that question. She really did not know why she asked like that but asked.

“There were so many occasions that I have so much happy in my life.” With a small smile on her lips, her mom Sameera said. “The whole day also may not be enough if I narrate them one after one to you. Anyhow why did you ask like that to me?”

“I am feeling so happy now, so I wanted to ask like that to you.” Feeling the same happiness still in her Chandana said.

“Is there any reason for your feeling happy like that now?”

Chandana startled hearing that sudden question from her mom even it was something could be expected. What she would think and how she would react if she told her the real reason for her happiness then?

“I have written today’s exam also so good mom. I am expecting to write the remaining exams also in the same way. That is the reason for my happiness now.” Chandana felt happy as she could find a pretext without much thinking.

“That is indeed something you can feel happy!” there came an instant happiness in the face of Sameera. “Both your dad and I have all hopes on you. You just have to thrive like that all your life and get good marks in all your examinations.”

“Certainly it will be so mom.” She came near to her mom, put her both hands around her and kissed on her right cheek. “I always give first preference to my studies.” She did not feel guilty to say like that as it was just so to her. As she has said, she has written all her examination so well till that moment.

“Just a moment darling!” before she was retiring into her room Sameera said and Chandana turned and looked into her face with a questioning expression. “There are not just happy moments all the time but sad incidents also. We have to learn to deal with both the happy and sad incidents.”

“I just don’t know what you really want to say!” with a confusing expression in her face, Chandana said.

“Yes, dear. I am thinking it is necessary to tell you about this also.” coming near to her Sameera said. “Sad incidents are also as much natural as happy incidents in our lives and we have to deal with them in equilibrium.”

“Alright mom, I understood.” Chandana nodded her head and was about to move away from that place but then she suddenly wanted to ask. “Do you have any such sad incidents in your life?”

“Of course, some.” The expression in Sameera’s face was suddenly turned pathetic. “The main incident among them was; losing my child when it was in my stomach itself. Your dad and I so much thought about, have so many plans for it but I have sudden abortion. We both felt so much worried and unhappy. I could not conceive with you until four years after that incident but I must say I never could forget about that loss and still sometimes feel worry about it.”

“But mom, you lost it when it was still in your stomach, why do you worry about it that much?” feeling lot of surprise on her mom’s saying like that Chandana asked. “I know that so many women get their pregnancies aborted without a feeling in them.”

“If we become inhuman and without feeling, we can do anything but if we are human we cannot even think like that.” Sighing heavily Sameera said. “You just cannot understand how a pregnant woman feels until you do become pregnant. It is impossible to say in words the mom’s attachment towards her child even while it is in her womb.”

“Is it is so to her with every pregnancy of her mom?” whatever she heard from her mom was like a whiplash to her. Indirectly with what type of feeling she was making Sirisha’s mom to be subjected if she got her pregnancy aborted just because of her advice to Sirisha like that and Sirisha demanding her so?

“Does not a mom have the same love and affection on all of her children? It is just so with all her pregnancies also. She just does feel the same love and affection on all her pregnancies and never even bear the thinking to lose them.” her mom said. “If that pregnancy has been survived, you would have a brother or sister to play with you, love and like you. Sometimes I am feeling guilty.........”

“Okay mom. I understood.” After saying that Chandana retired into her room as she could not hear anymore from her mom

The happy feeling she has till that moment disappeared at once in her and her whole heart was filled with a sort of anxiousness and guilty feeling. Without thinking much how she has given such a suggestion to Sirisha? She almost programmed her to demand her mom for it and Sirisha was so much against having a sibling. Considering what her mom has said, Sirisha’s mom would be affected a lot if she has to get her pregnancy aborted. Chandana did not know when she fell in sleep but it was quite fitful and with full of nightmares.

&&&

When they both were alone in their bedroom, Sanjana said to Rakesh what Sirisha asked her.

“My god! She asked like that to you?” Rakesh’s face was with full of shock when he heard what their daughter demanded her mom to do.

“Exactly that’s what she asked and that’s what she wants. She has become too much selfish and I don’t think she ever agrees to this pregnancy.” Sanjana did not want to say the entire conversation they both had to Rakesh.

“I....I just don’t know what to say.” With an anxious expression in his face Rakesh said. “I really did not expect this much of stubbornness in our daughter.”

“But I am thinking one thing Rakesh.” Suddenly with a pathetic expression in her face Sanjana said. “It is very much painful to think like that but I cannot see any other way except that. How it is that I do what our daughter wants me to do?”

“No please don’t say like that. Don’t even entertain such an idea in you.” Rakesh’s face was with full of anxiousness.

“It is very much painful to me also but you try to understand. Our daughter is at a very crucial period of her life, she is studying tenth class. She is disturbing herself with the quite unnecessary thought of her incoming sibling and I am afraid she spoils her studies also with that thinking. If she cannot get good marks or fails in her studies, you and I would not bother much but she herself will be very much disturbed. So to put her mind at ease and to make her go with her studies in the usual way, I am thinking that it is inevitable.” There was a sort of firmness in Sanjana.

“But how much we want it! How much we like it! I just cannot even think like that.” The anxiousness in Rakesh’s face was intensified even more.

“We did not expect this, did we?” Sanjana knitted her brows together. “It has happened quite automatically. If it has not happened now, we would not have thought about it at all. We just think I never got this pregnancy.” 

“It is equal to murder in my opinion. We have no right to take away the life of it even though we caused it.”

“Are you thinking that I have not thought so? Do you know how much I am suffering with that thought?” then she suddenly hugged her husband and broke out into weeping. “But we have not been left with any other option. If we want the well being of our daughter, it is must.”

“Alright dear! Alright!” patting on her right shoulder with his right hand cajolingly Rakesh said. “We do so. We fulfil the demand of her daughter, kill her sibling even before she takes birth and put her heart at ease. But before we do that, let me have a little conversation with her. I also try to change her heart and if I also fail, yes, you are right, there is no other option to us except that. We love and like our daughter so much and we just want her well being all the time.”

“You need to do that as fast as possible Rakesh. If I want to have an abortion, I should have it as soon as possible. Abortion at an advanced age is a difficult thing and that devil knows about it also.”

&&&

Unit test examinations were over and with those disturbing thoughts, Sirisha could not prepare well for any of her subjects and her performance was worst in all her unit test examinations. With the passing of time Sirisha was becoming more and more frustrated and angry. Even she could not write the examinations better, she was feeling more about her mom’s pregnancy than for her dismal performance in the examinations. That was Sunday and Sirisha was all alone in her room without doing anything. She just has no mood to do anything at that time with the same disturbing thinking all the time. It was appearing as if her mom was not at all considering what she has proposed. Even she became angry like that instantly, Sirisha expected that her mom would consider what she has suggested but it seemed she was decided to have the child. If she really wanted, she could make her dad agree to it and she knew her mom’s hold on her dad. But she herself wanted to keep that blasted thing which was making Sirisha to feel intense hate on her mom. She just wanted to do something, something that would make her mom utterly bad.

She only half prepared for the unit text examinations because of that disturbed thinking and could not write them to her expectations. If she did not prepare in the best way she would write the final examinations also in that half way and surely would not get good marks and she was feeling fear if her mom’s pregnancy continued and there would be a sibling also to her, she never could study better and her dream to become a doctor never would be fulfilled even her dad could afford the expenditure for her medical studies. It was all because of her mom, even having pregnancy was not her mistake at all but not trying to understand the situation and not agreeing for the abortion was her mistake! That thinking made her decision to do something to cause some unpleasantness to her mom became more and more strong.

But presently she has to get rid of the disturbing feeling and spend sometime happily. First she thought to go to Chandana but she remembered her saying that she has a movie program with Sarath and she did not want to disturb them both now. Except Chandana there were no close friends to her to go and spend time with! She has to do something which would divert her mind from the disturbing thinking. Watching videos or T.V. or reading books could not give that to her. Only something variety, something special could do that.

Then she suddenly remembered Manoj who always was trying to make friendship with her. Manoj was indeed a handsome guy and Sirisha has to put an effort not to be attracted towards him. But however much she was trying, she just could not refrain herself from feeling thrill while talking with him and thinking about him. ‘How it is if I go and talk with him?’ she thought in herself and that idea itself was very much pleasant to her. As it was Sunday the possibility of his staying at home would be more. It would be little awkward to tell his parents that she came to their home to talk with Manoj but she has to. For the present, it was appearing only talking with Manoj and spending time with him would give her some mind diversion and enjoyment.

“He is in his study room and you know where is his study room in our house.” When Sirisha entered into his house and said to his mom Malathi that she wanted to talk with Manoj regarding her doubts in some of her subjects, she said. “You just go straight into it.”

“Would not he feel that he is disturbed?” with little uneasy feeling in her face Sirisha asked.

“He never feels like that with his friends. Moreover he always studies his books and spending sometime with you would not do him much harm.”

“Alright then” Sirisha nodded her head but she felt quite uneasily while entering into the room of Manoj then.

&&&

Manoj was seriously indulged in his studying, he did not know even Sirisha’s entering into their house and when she entered into his room it was indeed a pleasant surprise to him. For few seconds he even forgot to greet her and remained staring at her. She was just like an angel in beautiful white shirt and skirt, with neatly combed two plaits and with a charming smile on her lips. Very seldom she was with such an amicable expression and charming smile on her lips at him.

“Sorry, I know that I am disturbing you. But.............” she wanted to say something more but did not know what to say.

“Not at all like that.” He hastily said with the fear that she might go back. “Its a pleasure to me to talk with my friends and please be comfortable...........” he suddenly stopped as he understood that there was only one chair at his table to sit in that room and nothing else to her to sit. “Just a moment” he immediately went outside and it just took seconds to him to take another chair into that room and lay it for her before he dragged his chair opposite to her to make the talking  with her convenient to him.

“I really put you into some trouble!” the charming smile on her lips was just so then too.

“Its never like that. Do you feel so to do little things like this if I come to your home?” the smile on his lips then was just natural. “Now tell me, what’s your mission for coming like this to me now?”

“To be frank.........” she suddenly started feeling uneasily as she did not know what to talk then. “........I felt complete bore in my home so I came here particularly for some time-pass.”

“I just cannot believe this at all!” then he did not at all try to refrain the happy feeling in him to be expressed in his face. “You have chosen me to spend time with to get rid of your boredom? It is the very first time I must say you did like this in these four years or so of our acquaintance.”

Then for the very first time in his life he understood laughing also would be that much mesmerizing hearing her laughter. “I did not come all these days only with the thinking it may be some disturbance to you. I know you are also as much serious as I am to become a doctor.”

“Of course, yes.” He nodded his head. “So far I have got good grades in my studies and I have to get as much good rank as possible in emcet to get a free seat in medicine in a government college. So I have been preparing for eamcet also. Of course we are comfortable financially but my dad cannot spend too much money for my medicine.”

“Alright, alright. You sure do get a good rank in eamcet and a free seat in a medical college.” Sirisha said feeling little uneasily. It was just like that he was insinuating that her dad could spend any much of amount for her medicine and it was a fact also. “So far I also have got good marks. I want to get as much good marks as possible in the final examinations also. To get a seat in a reputed college, good marks in tenth class is necessary.” She suddenly started feeling fear again remembering her half-good performance in the first unit test and if she could not set her mind and concentrate on her studies, her performance in the final exams also would be just so.

“It shall be just like that you don’t worry.” Looking with an assured expression in his face he said. Even though he has enough acquaintance with her and many a time talked with her also but when she came like that for talking, he did not know what to talk. Moreover the thrusting up of her breasts under the fabric were quite conspicuous and even it was just little the cleavage under her neck also was no less disturbing to him. Even however much he was trying not to, he could not remain looking at her milky thighs protruding under from her skirt. When he forced his gaze onto her face, her beautiful smile, red juicy lips and white little teeth inside were even more attracting and disturbing to him.

It was not so that Sirisha did not notice his struggle and it was not new to her that boys felt like that near to her and it just made her more thrilled! Putting a boy into trouble like that would always make her feel thrilled and she was having that thrill feeling now. But it was not just him observing her and feeling uncomfortable so. She was also feeling just like that while looking at his muscled and exercised body and the unintentional thought how it would be in his tight hug making her more and more uneasy.

“I know that you have a close friend. I saw her coming to your home on many an occasion.” He said again breaking the silence there. “I am feeling happy that you have forsaken even her also to talk with me for your time-pass.”

“I would have gone to her but she has a program with her boyfriend.” Sirisha said. “So I have to come here like this. Whatever you may think, I would have preferred to go to her if she is available.”

“Put aside what I do think.” Suddenly his face became serious. “I just cannot understand! What it is she has a program with her boyfriend? For a tenth class student having a boyfriend itself is quite unadvisable but she has a program also with him? What is that program?”

“Why you are feeling that much surprise in it?” the serious expression in his face then was quite troubling to her. “Almost all my classmates have boyfriends and even juniors to me also have boyfriends except me. What that much mistake in it?”

“I just don’t know in what type of school you are studying but friendship between girls and boys should be strictly prohibited. There is a chance it may lead to unnecessary eventualities.”

“May I know what are those unnecessary eventualities?” Sirisha knitted her brows together and the uneasiness in her has become even more. Even though she asked like that, it was not so that she did not understand what were they.

“I cannot have a discussion about that with you but can give you only one advice. Until completing your medicine, never make friendship with boys.”

“I just don’t know why you are saying like this.” She would have argued with him on that point but the expression in his face was very much serious and genuine. “In fact the boy who has recently become friend to my friend, has tried a lot to make friendship with me. When I have not encouraged him in that at all, he has chosen to make friendship with my friend.”

“There is no surprise at all as she is also an attractive and beautiful girl!”

“But I congratulated and encouraged her to make friendship with that boy, did I do a mistake?” Sirisha knitted her brows together.

“I cannot say but it is quite advisable that girls and boys don’t spend time together at this age. You are not a small child to explain what the danger if it is so.”

Sirisha’s cheeks were blushed on hearing that. Why could not she think like that and restrain her friend from making friendship with that Sarath? The usual way of her classmates behaving with the boys did not make her think so.

“They have a program to see a movie on this day.” Sirisha said “Anyhow I do put her into some caution. Ask her not to be too much friendly with him.”

“That is indeed the best idea!” nodding his head Sarath said. “Anyhow as you have taken such a decision, forget about it for the present. But don’t forget to put your friend into some caution.”

“Alright, alright.” Once again her laughter was mellifluous to him. “Anyhow you have no anger on me that you are my second choice? I came to you only as my friend is not available to me.”

“I am feeling so happy that I am atleast your second choice!” Sarath also laughed. “It is indeed a privilege to be of any choice to a beautiful girl like you.” Those words were quite inadvertently slipped from his mouth and her face was blushed on hearing that.

“I am sorry! I really did not know why I say like that!” he hastily said.

“Never mind!” once again her lips were filled with her charming smile. “It is just a compliment from a handsome guy. You are indeed handsome!”

When he heard that from her, he needed to put lot of effort not to show his sudden erupted happiness in his heart. He knew he was handsome, he heard that comment quite often from girls and boys also but hearing it from this beautiful girl was indeed different!

“Thank you very much!” he said with a small smile. “You have such an opinion on me.”

“Sometimes I just cannot suppress my feelings in me.” She was feeling surprise why and how she was talking like that with him but she was feeling thrill and happy to talk like that with him. “Moreover it may not be just I who said it like that with you.”

“Better we stop praising each other” with an uneasy feeling in him he said continuing the same smile. “Are there no other things that we can talk together?”

“There may be. But I just cannot think any of them now.” With uneasiness in her face Sirisha said.

“From tomorrow onwards, I have to be all alone in my home.” Suddenly with a worrying expression in his face, Manoj said. “Both of my parents would be out of station for a marriage ceremony and would not be back until one week. It is not the first time to me to stay all alone but it pains me to stay lonely.”

“I never have been left all alone in my home by my parents.” Her laughter was every time mellifluous. “Anyhow, don’t worry. I try to give you some company in the evenings if you don’t think that it would be disturbance to your studies.”     

“It never will be so, it never will be so.” Nodding his head in negation, Manoj vigorously said. “Please don’t deprive me of that pleasure by thinking foolishly like that.”

After that they both talked some more time and suddenly Sirisha got off from her chair and said. “Now I have to go to my home. Don’t worry. I meet you again.”

&&&

Only in the playing hour on the next day Sirisha got the opportunity to spend time all alone with Chandana. She was about to caution Chandana about her friendship with Sarath but before she did that, Chandana said with a happy expression on her face.“Yesterday both of us spent time wonderfully. I just cannot say how much we both enjoyed together!”

“I want to talk something with you.” Pulling a serious expression into her face Sirisha said.

“Before that I want to say something very important to you.” Pretending a serious expression in her face also Chandana said. “After the movie we went to a restaurant for lunch. After lunch we went to a park. In the park after spending sometime in talking......” she paused for a second before saying “........we exchanged kisses.”

Sirisha’s face was filled with a horrifying expression. “My god! You allowed him to kiss you?”

“In fact, I kissed him first and he took the inspiration from me.” Chandana laughed. “After seeing such a romantic movie, I just could not help doing so. But you just cannot imagine how much thrilling and enjoyable it was that holding each other and kissing like that! If mere kisses were so, how would be that grand experience! But that park was not very much convenient place to have it.”

“Shut your bloody mouth! You could dare to such extent also? What happens if you become pregnant?” Sirisha angrily yelled.

“Don’t talk like a child. Just for one time experience nothing like that happens. Anyhow I can take a tab after that and it settles everything!”

“You shameless and impudent girl! Do you know what your parents would do to you if ever they come to know about it, especially your mom?”

It was just like that she got the thought only then and Chandana’s face has become suddenly fearful! “My mom would simply kill me if ever she comes to know about it. She gives lot of importance to moral values.”

“Then be very careful and don’t go to movies etcetera with him anymore. My sincere suggestion is stop your friendship with him forthwith. I just cannot understand why I have not discouraged you in the beginning itself.” Sirisha really felt very much surprising why did not she think like that until Manoj said so to her. She was too much disturbed with her incoming sibling onto the earth and could not think about anything in a proper way.

“But you know how most of the girls in our class and even our juniors also doing it. Some of them said that they have been having it with boys and it is so much enjoyable! They are taking precautions not to become pregnant.”

“We don’t think about other girls. We do think about ourselves only.” With firmness in her voice Sirisha said. “If you want to be remained as my friend, there should be no outings like that with Sarath. Your friendship must be confined to just talking! If I ever come to know that you are venturing to do immoral things, I just come to your home and say about it to your mom. Not just that, there will be no friendship between me and you from then on.”

“No please don’t say like that!” with sudden apprehension in her face Chandana said, took Sirisha’s right hand into her hands and squeezed that. “I don’t feel fear what my parents do to me. But I just cannot bear to lose a good friend like you.”

“I always do feel in the same way.” Sirisha relieved her hand from her hands, hugged her and kissed on her right cheek. “That is why I don’t take a back step to say like that to you even it puts you to unpleasantness.”

“Of course, I became somehow unpleasant in hearing what you said. But you are right! We must not indulge ourselves into immoral things taking inspiration from the other free girls.” After returning her kiss on her left cheek, Chandana said.

They talked in between themselves until they heard the school bell insinuating that the play hour was over. In that whole conversation Sirisha did not say anything even for once about her mom’s pregnancy and Chandana also has forgotten about it completely.

&&&

“Siri, dear! Can we both have little chit-chat in between ourselves?”

Rakesh has to go out of station again after his saying to Sanjana that he also would talk with their daughter about her incoming sibling. He returned only after two days and only in the night of that day, when his daughter was studying in her room, he could get the opportunity to talk with her.

“Of course, dad! Please sit.” Without any particular expression in her face Sirisha said and Rakesh slumped instantly in which Sanjana sat before to talk with his daughter.

Sirisha and Rakesh were more like friends’ rather than daughter and dad and they do discuss many things freely in themselves. But from the moment Sanjana’s pregnancy came into notice, they both were feeling uneasily to talk with each other. Anyhow without talking with him also, Sirisha could understand one thing! Her dad also would be quite favourable to that pregnancy.

“You know you are going to have a new sibling! Whether it is a brother or sister to you, having a sibling is indeed wonderful, is it is not? Leading a lonely life is indeed very much painful.” Looking intently into his daughter’s face Rakesh said.

“Ever I said that I have been feeling lonely?” Sirisha knitted her brows. “And how and why I do feel like that while you and mom always be with me?”

“You are right dear!” Rakesh forced a smile onto his lips. “But having a sibling to play with us, spend time with us would be very much joyous! I used to feel so much happy playing and spending time with my brothers and sisters.”

“I am not thinking that I can enjoy like that with a sibling who is more than fourteen years young to me.” The venom in her voice then shocked Rakesh. “I cannot just welcome such a thing into my life.”

“But, darling..........” Rakesh tried to say something more.

“Dad, please.........” Sirisha interrupted him and said. “........having another child is your choice. If you do like it and enjoy it, just do so, I have no objection. But don’t try to force me to like something which I cannot like at all.” The strongest desire in her not to have a sibling made her talk like that with her dad.

“It is not at all a way to talk with your dad, Sirisha!” Rakesh angrily said.

“I am sorry dad. I should not have talked like that.” Pretending a regretful expression in her face Sirisha said. “I just could not remain without expressing my opinion. I just don’t like to have a sibling. If you both want to have another child, that is upto you.” After saying that as if she did not want to talk anything more with him, Sirisha put herself into the book which she was reading then.

&&&

Time was going on heavily and both her parents were not talking anything with Sirisha. It was making her more enraged that there was no positive response at all from her parents and she understood that her parents decided to have the other child. The desire to do something as if to take revenge on them also was becoming more and more in her. But she just could not think of something what she would do to make her parents hurt to the maximum.

While she was worrying and struggling like that on the bed in her room, she remembered Chandana. How dare and how audacious that they could even exchange kisses! She said they would have committed that sinful thing also if the place was convenient for them to do it. My god! How much daring she should be to do that? Sirisha could not even think like that.

Sirisha knew that Chandana was more knowledgeable about the forbidden knowledge and in fact it was through Chandana, Sirisha came to know about sexual intercourse probably while she was studying fifth class or so. Even though whatever she heard was some extent shocking and disgusting, it made her thrilled also.

“But a girl must become a woman to have it. I came to know.” After few days of sharing the above piece of forbidden knowledge, Chandana said.

“What it is becoming a woman, I cannot understand!”confusion masked the face of Sirisha.

Deep frowns gathered on the forehead of Sirisha while she was listening intently whatever Chandana was saying then in a measured tone.

“You and I both would have it sometime in future. Until we become women, we cannot have it with a man and become pregnant.” Chandana concluded.

“But blood like that? I am feeling fear!” even though whatever she has heard was thrilling also to her, she felt fear to that aspect.

“No need to feel fear to that as that blood is not because of any wound. There will be no pain at all to us. Not just that, we do have blood like that from there every month.”

“But that prospect is making me feel fear. Are not you feeling fear?” Sirisha knitted her brows together.

“My cousin said that there is no need to feel fear to it at all as there will be no pain and it is a must to every girl. If a girl does not become a woman, she cannot have sexual intercourse and cannot become pregnant.”

“Is it is just impossible having it without becoming a woman?” by then Sirisha used to the idea of becoming a woman and stopped feeling fear to that.

“It is not so. A girl before becoming a woman also can have it but it will not be full-fledged and she cannot become pregnant! Anyhow can you guess how my cousin came to know about this?” Sirisha laughed and said. “My cousin tried to have it with a guy and it went only half deep into her. She felt pain when he tried to force it down and somehow they managed it. Later she came to know about it from a matured woman that a girl cannot have it full-fledged until she becomes a woman.”

“So she was subjected only to pain!” Sirisha also laughed.

“Not of course. When she said there was pain to her, he stopped forcing it down and I already said to you that they somehow managed it. Even though it is not full-fledged, they are enjoying it.”

“You are using present tense!” with a smile on her lips Sirisha said.

“Just because they are having it occasionally now also.” Chandana sighed heavily. “She is so eagerly waiting to become a woman as she came to know that sexual intercourse then will be so much delicious and wonderful!”

It was Sirisha who became a woman first and Chandana followed her suit and it happened in their seventh class. By then they have become even more knowledgeable about forbidden matters and talked wildly in between themselves but never dared even to think about having sex with someone. But the idea to have sex with someone was always thrilling to Sirisha. Her mind sometimes automatically imagine having sex with boys and during that time her whole body would be with a sort of thrill and pleasure! Even she admonished Chandana for her venturing to kisses with Sarath and put her into caution, she envied her courage! Could she also do like that with someone?

Manoj’s parents entrusted the responsibility of Manoj to Sanjna until they return and it was Sirisha who was taking the things into his house to give to him. In other situations, because of her anger on her mom, she would not have agreed to it but she was feeling a sort of thrill in spending time with him so she was taking those food items into his house. In fact she was feeling worry that she could not spend time like that with him once his parents returned.

Could she do something like that with Manoj? This idea was recent in her and creating so much thrill and joy. How it will be indeed kissing like that and having it with him? She sat straight as if she could not lay like that anymore with that disturbing thought. She was imagining involuntarily that he was making her nude, placing his hands everywhere on her body and.....my god! She sighed heavily and lied on the bed again.

Then, only then, she has got that idea to make their parents to feel hurt! ‘How it is having it with him and become pregnant?’ that idea was just like an electric shock! And if she has become pregnant, it would be the perfect thing to hurt her parents to the maximum! As they both were adamant like that to have another child without bothering with her protestations, why should not she do something like that to hurt them? Especially she wanted to see the painful and hurting expression on the face of her mom when she knew that she was pregnant. The thrill and pleasure she was going to have while having it with him and her strong desire to hurt her parents to the maximum, made her to take that decision! Yes, she would have it with him. That Manoj was appearing more moral conscientious but she was confident that she could make him agree to it. She was confident that when a beautiful girl like her advanced herself, no boy would deny having it.

&&&

“You are right dear! Better we don’t have it. Our daughter is very much against it and it is not advisable at all having it against her will and wish. We are concerned more about her welfare than anything else.” when they both were alone in their bedroom again, Rakesh said. “I talked with her and she is not appearing even a little agreeable to have a sibling.”

“I just, just don’t know what to say.” Looking at her both hands fingernails Sanjana said. “Why she is adamant like that? Why just she is considering her incoming sibling as an enemy to her?”

“There is not much wrong on her part also. She has led a lonely and monopolistic life till now and it is becoming difficult to her to accept someone who shares everything in equal measure with her. She just cannot understand how nice it is going to be to her to share the things with a brother or sister and I am pretty sure that we cannot make her understand the point. The little time I have spent with her on that point made it quite sure to me.”

There was silence between them both for few seconds and breaking it Rakesh said again. “If we do have it against her opposition, she may accept it and agree with it once her brother or sister takes birth. Seeing her brother or sister in flesh and blood may get change in her heart.”

“It takes near five months to that Rakesh and in between she spoils her studies with this disturbing thinking. Don’t forget that she is in most crucial stage of her life, in her tenth class! If she cannot get good marks in it or fails in it just because of her improper studying? She becomes more upset than you and I also and I just cannot think what would be the consequences. Moreover.........” she paused a second and sighed heavily. “.........what is the guarantee that seeing her sibling in flesh and blood would get a change in her? What if she feels the same rancour against it then also?”

“What you have said also is true.” Rakesh sighed heavily. “Then fulfilling her strongly desired wish is the only option left to us.”

“It has to be done fast. Before I develop more and more love and affection on it, it has to be got rid of.” Tears were flowing down on the cheeks of Sanjana. “You have good doctor friends...........”

“I will arrange for it you don’t worry.” Rakesh hugged his wife and kissed on her both cheeks. “We just think it never has happened to you. You please don’t deplore for it anymore.”

After that, as if he could not stay any longer with his wife seeing her worrying like that, he went out of that room. In fact he was even more worrying as he has to lose the so much cherished second child just because of their daughter’s stubbornness.

&&&

“I don’t have this pleasure from tomorrow onwards.” Manoj said looking into the face of Sirisha when she entered into his house along with the food items. “Both my parents will be in the home by early morning tomorrow.”

“Is it is some indirect suggestion to me not to come to you from tomorrow onwards?” putting the carriage which she took along with her on the table, Sirisha said looking into the face of Manoj with a mocked serious expression.

“You understood it like that?” he knitted his brows together, came near to her and looked straight into her face. “Can you understand how much I am worrying that I don’t have the pleasure of your presence from tomorrow?”

“Really, really my presence is that much enjoyable to you?” her heart beat became fast as the conversation coming so near to put into action her plan. She came out of her house with a specific decision and the only problem to her now was how to express that to Manoj and how to make him to agree to it if he denied it.

“If you really don’t know about it, you must have some problem with your mind.” There was a different sort of expression on his face. “Can any boy remains without enjoying your beautiful presence unless he has some problem with his psyche or physic? Are not the boys flocking around you to make friendship?”

Sirisha laughed her mellifluous laughter and said “Of course, I know.” She paused for a second observing the exciting expression on the face of Manoj. “Sarath, the present friend of my friend Chandana, is indeed handsome and a sportive guy joined in our school in this year itself. He tried his level best to make friendship with me but I flatly denied and then he went after my friend Chandana.” She paused again and then said. “Yes, you are right! I am accustomed to crowding of boys around me to make friendship with me and the envy of the girls towards me.”

“Then how much fortunate I must be to have friendship with a beautiful girl like you!” he said with a happy expression but suddenly his face clouded with worry. “We still can manage to talk with each other and be friendly but we may not have this type of opportunity to be together only both of us and spend time. I am just feeling so much sorrowful as this day is going to be the last day for both of us to spend time like this.”

“You are absolutely right I agree.” Sirisha nodded her head and said. “Then why should not we make this time most memorable for all our lives?”

“I just cannot understand! How we can make it like that?” he knitted his brows together with full confusion in his face.

“By having it together!” she did not know what really made her to do such courageous act and she never has thought she could do something like that to a boy. Before he understood what was happening, her both hands were around his neck and her lips were on his right cheek with a little chirping sound and then she withdrew her lips but not her hold around him. “A full-fledged sexual intercourse between us both make this time most memorable to both of us.”

His whole heart was filled with shock when he understood what she really meant and when he tried to relieve her hold around him, she did not let him do that. In fact if he tried with his full strength he would have but he himself also not much interested to relieve himself from that delicious and marvellous hold of her.

“Have you lost your mind? You are suggesting that we do both have sex?” the shock was just so in his face. “I just cannot understand! I never have expected something like this from you.”

“Alright, you never have expected this and it is happening in your life now, what should be your reaction?” looking tauntingly into his face she asked him. “Just take me into your bedroom and have me in the best way you can. I just want to have full-fledged sex with you and I have that determination in before itself.”

“You are shocking me more and more by talking like this!” even it was so nice and enjoyable to him to be in her hold like that he did not forget about the possible consequence of it. “What if you do become pregnant?”

“Just for one time I don’t become pregnant!” really she wanted to become pregnant and hurt her parents but said. “Anyhow I do take a tab after that and you don’t worry too much about it.”

“I just can’t. It is like I am taking advantage of you!” suddenly there was guilty expression in his face.

“Once I myself have come to you for it, how it is that you are taking advantage of me? Don’t waste time, use this opportunity, you enjoy and make me joyous as much as possible.”

He would have resisted some more, his moral conscience would not have subsided into the background suddenly, if he did not feel her moist, smooth and silky lips on his lips in the immediate instant. The touch of her juicy lips was just like erased all his confusion and made him to come to a sudden decision. Without a second delay he also put his both hands around her, hugged her so tightly and when she tried to relieve her lips from his lips, he put his right hand on the back of her head, stopped her and took her lower lip into his mouth.

Then Sirisha remembered her friend’s saying that her exchanging kisses with Sarath. What type of experience or joy she has Sirisha could not understand but now while Manoj was chewing her lip like that it was just full joy! She put her both hands on the back of his head and just allowed him to do it like that and it was he who relieved her from that kiss.

“Once we came to the decision to have it; bedroom is the best place for it.” She just nodded her head when he said it and moved along with him like an automaton while he was leading her into the bedroom.

&&&

Sirisha heard about it, read about it and have a pretty good idea how couple has it together.  Even she did not want, many a time her mind involuntarily imagined sexual intercourse with boys and she felt a sort of thrill and pleasure then. But when Manoj was dealing with her body the thrill and pleasure were completely out of proportion many times to the thrill and pleasure she has with her imagination.  She prevented him from making her absolutely nude but when he himself took every cloth from his body, she has to allow herself to become completely nude in his hands. She used to feel lot of shame to become completely nude even before her mom but just in seconds after she became completely nude like that before him she stopped feeling awkward to display her nudeness full in before him. It would have been just like that for him also and moreover there was a little proud expression also in his face while displaying himself before her. She allowed him whatever he wanted to do and became an active participant herself also and something what surprised her was the steadiness and ease with which he dealt with her body. When they both were thorough with it, she not only has got the complete satisfaction of her urge but satisfaction for something she did to hurt her parents if it worked out.

“How you did it this beautiful?” kissing on his lips, hugging his naked body on the bed, Sirisha asked him. “I did not see even little confusion anywhere in you. It is just like that you know about my body more than I do. But my friend said there will be lot of confusion in a boy and he fails one or two times in before if it is the very first time to him.” She came to know about this piece of information also from Chandana who came to know about it from her cousin.

“I must be frank with you.” There was a hurt expression in his face. “I have this experience with one or two girls in before.”

“My god! True? But you talked like that!” Sirisha indeed surprised on hearing that.

“I really feel like that but when I was tempted so by the girls, I just could not refrain. I am very sorry.” The regretful expression was just so in his face.

“Never mind. You need not feel worry.” Sirisha got off from the bed and started dressing up herself.

“But Sirisha...........” he hastily got off from the bed and he also started dressing himself up. “............we have it together without any protection. What if you do get pregnancy?”

“I already told you that I take a tab.” By then she finished her dressing and was about to go. “You just don’t worry about it.”

“But dear, are you feeling regret for what we did? It is just like I took advantage of you. I should not have done that even you yourself advanced for it.” he said while buttoning his shirt.

She came fast, put her both hands around his neck and kissed on his both cheeks perfunctorily. “We want to make this day memorable to us for all our lives and we did it like that. We are not going to have it together unless we do become man and wife in future and for the present I have no serious idea to become your wife. From now on our concentration must be only on studies and we are just friends. Don’t expect even a kiss from me.” Then she relieved him.

“Don’t forget to take a tab.” While she was coming out of that place he said on the back of her.

“I asked you don’t worry about it.” she smiled and said without turning back.

He could not know how much she was wishing to become a pregnant to hurt her parents. But onetime having it together may not be enough for it. Anyhow she was feeling satisfaction for two things; one thing it was just like quenching her thirst of revenge on her parents by indulging herself in an immoral act like this; the second thing, she has got that much beautiful experience with Manoj and indeed she could remember it for her whole life.   

&&&

Fifteen days or so have passed after Sirisha having it together with Manoj and she has forgotten about it completely. Even it has become quite difficult to concentrate on her studies with the obsessive thinking of her incoming sibling, she forced herself to do that and has become successful to some extent in it.

“I want to talk something with you.”

On that day while she was taking her breakfast on the dining table, her mom slumped down beside her in the other chair and said. It was after twenty days or so of their last conversation, her mom was talking with her again.

“Tell me mom.” Without looking into her face, continuing her taking breakfast like that, Sirisha said. “You don’t need permission to talk anything with me.”

“But presently you are so busy and don’t want to be disturbed at all.” Sanjana was just waiting for a change in the attitude of Sirisha but as it has not happened even days were rolling by, she took the decision to break what she and her dad decided to do. Abortion of her pregnancy would become difficult with further more delay.

“Mom, just tell me what do you want to say?” still without looking into the face of her mom, Sirisha said irritatingly. She did not even want to guess what her mom intended to talk with her.

“After thinking a lot, your dad and I came to a decision. I am going to have the abortion.”

“Mom..........” Sirisha indeed startled on hearing that and hurriedly looked into the face of her mom and the expression in her face was amicable. She did not expect at all to hear that from her mom then.

“Yes, dear! On thinking deep we also are thinking that it is better doesn’t have it now. Whatever you have said is also true. It is indeed awkward to have pregnancy at this age to me and people do laugh at me. We did not at all expect it now and we just think I never have it. So having an abortion is not going to make any difference in the matter.”

“Thank you mom, thank you very much!” Sirisha got off from the chair she sat, hugged her mom and kissed on her both cheeks. “I know that you have that much love on me and honour my words.” But something in her mom’s face was troubling Sirisha very much. It was quite clear that her mom did not like at all to lose that pregnancy then and it was only because of Sirisha’s persistence.

“Its alright dear! You need not thank me for anything.” Sanjana also got off from the chair, hugged her daughter and kissed on her both cheeks. “Your dad has arranged everything. Coming Friday it is going to happen. As it is not very much advanced, this abortion is not going to be risky.”

“Mom, you really don’t like it, do you?” Sirisha did not want to say like that but could not remain without saying that.

“Oh, stop thinking like that Siri.” Once again Sanjana kissed on the both of cheeks of Sirisha still keeping her hold around her. “Don’t worry about it at all. You just remember one thing! You are the prime concern to us all the time and the love and affection of us on you will be the same forever. Without disturbing yourself with unnecessary thoughts, you just concentrate on your studies. You have to get very good marks in your final exams also.”

“I just do so mom, you need not worry about it.” Sirisha said.

&&&

Surprisingly the happiness in Sirisha did not last long after hearing her mom’s decision so. There was lot of uneasiness and discomfort in her and even though her mom was maintaining an amicable expression in her face, she knew that her mom did not like at all to do that. Her mom has agreed to her abortion only for her. Both their parents have come to the decision to lose their child only because she was demanding it. She was so much wanted to share her views with her friend Chandana but she was out of station and would be back only by the evening of that day.

Sirisha did not know when the science period was over and the next period was mathematics. The whole class was in cacophony and Sirisha also would have participated in some conversation with her classmates or with other activity in that small recess but her mood was not good. She leaned back in the bench, closed her eyes while trying to set her uneasy mood. She opened her eyes and looked at her right side when he felt a hand touch on her right shoulder. It was Mamatha one of her classmates and who was a friend to her and Chandana also.

“Tell me Mamatha? Do you want to share anything with me now?” with the hope that conversation with Mamatha then might get some change in her mood, Sirisha asked.

“Yes, of course! There is something very much important I want to tell to you.” Mamatha’s face was full of happiness. “You have to come to our home today evening. I am giving a party and inviting all my friends. Chandana said she also come back by that time and participate in that. I invited her through phone.”

“You are giving a party but for what?” frowns gathered on the forehead of Sirisha.

“For the naming ceremony of my brother. He has just aged three months and so much cute! You know one thing; it is I who selected the name for him.”

“I just cannot understand! You have that much small brother?” Sirisha became straight on the bench she sat.

“Yes, of course! I have a very little brother now.” Mamatha laughed and the happiness in her was just so then also. “My mom promised me to give me a sibling to play with when I was just three years old but could not fulfil that promise until recently.”

It was just like a whiplash to Sirisha! Mamatha also as much aged as she was and has a little brother like that. But she was not feeling as she was feeling about her incoming sibling and feeling so happy for it! How it has become possible to her?

“Mamatha, if you don’t mind may I ask you a small question?” Sirisha wanted to ask that question with a low voice but she has to talk with her usual range to make it audible to Mamatha because of the cacophony around.

“Just feel free to ask anything I don’t mind.” With an assured expression in her face Mamatha said.

“Are not you feeling odd to have such a small brother? Don’t you feel about how the others feel and talk looking at you both brother and sister with that much age gape?”

“What the bloody hell you are talking?” Mamatha’s face was filled with an instant angry expression. “What’s wrong in that? There are sisters who have brothers with even more age gape. Why anyone would think otherwise as my brother is quite legitimate? In other words why should I care about anyone else once my parents have given birth to him in all proper way?”

“I am sorry. I should not have asked you like that.” Sirisha shocked on seeing the response of Mamatha so. She shocked more for the way she was feeling about her little brother rather than her angry response so.

“I really do mind if you talk like this Sirisha. If you don’t like you may not come at all to the party I am giving. But don’t talk nonsense like this and spoil my mood.” Then she went away angrily from that place.

Sirisha wanted to go after her and say apology but before she did something like that mathematics teacher entered into the classroom. Sirisha postponed her decision to say apology to Mamatha in the small recess between mathematics period and science period but without giving any gape science teacher Saritha entered into the class as soon as mathematics teacher left.

“Sirisha will you meet me in my chamber once this period is over?” looking into the face of Sirisha, Saritha teacher asked. “I want to have some chit-chat with you.”

“Alright madam.” Sirisha said and sat along with all the other classmates once Saritha teacher permitted them to sit.

She could guess why Saritha teacher wanted to talk with her then. She has written the science unit test in the worst way just like all the other exams and only to admonish her, she wanted a session with her. All the other teachers do like Sirisha as she was intelligent and got good marks in all the exams but this science teacher has special interest on her. There was no surprise if Saritha teacher could not tolerate the low marks she has got in her science exam.

&&&

But Sirisha could not meet Saritha teacher on that day as she left for her home on some urgent work immediately after that class. Sirisha relieved a little as the uneasy situation she has to face was postponed but still she was feeling very much unhappy because of the episode that has taken place between her and Mamatha. Even though not as much as Chandana, Mamatha was also a very good friend to her and she did not like to lose friendship with her. Moreover on thinking she understood she really talked in such a way to hurt the feeling of Mamatha.  Even in such a situation also Sirisha did not understand how Mamtha could like her little brother like that!

“I am really sorry. I should not have talked like that. Please excuse me.” Sirisha could get the opportunity to meet Mamatha all alone only in the evening.

“I can excuse you on only condition.” With the same serious expression in her face Mamatha said.

“Alright. Tell me. What it is?” Sirisha could guess what that condition was and she did not try to refrain the smile that was forcing onto her lips.

“You must come to the party in the evening.” Mamatha said and put her both hands around Sirisha. “Of course, I hurt a little by way of your talking but I have no anger on you. You and Chandana are very good friends to me always.”

“I sure do come. How do I miss it?” with the same smile on her lips Sirisha said.

When Sirisha said to her mom the purpose behind her going to her friend’s home on the evening of that day, Sanjana suggested her to take a gift. Sanjana was behaving just in usual way with Sirisha after telling her about her decision to get an abortion. Sirisha tried to see some change in the expression of Sanjana when she said about her friend’s little brother but there was no change at all. Rakesh was once again out of station on his business work so Sirisha could not meet him on that day. Sanjana already told Sirisha that her dad would be in the home on Wednesday by the time of her abortion.

Sirisha felt surprise on her friend’s feeling that much with her little brother like that but it did not change her feeling at all towards her incoming sibling. Even though she was feeling little bad in herself, she was feeling happy for the decision ultimately her parents have taken. Mamatha has no aspiration to become a doctor and there may be no problem to her even however many siblings she has. But it was not so in her matter and it was not possible to her parents to bear the expenditure for her medicine studies while looking after the welfare of her sibling also. She did not want to believe what her father said that he would have no problem to look after her doctor studies even with ten children also. Moreover she still did not like to share anything with a sibling whatever she was enjoying.

“He is the gift to my daughter. I promised her to give her a sibling when she was three years old. But I could not give it till now. So I gave the chance to my daughter to name him.” Mamatha’s mom Parimala said.

“My dad also has no objection for my naming him as Vitthal.” Mamatha said and once again there was the same happy smile on her lips.

“How do I object as we gave birth to him only for her?” putting his right hand around her daughter, her dad Niranjan said. “Not just that; it is she who is going to decide everything for him. We just follow her suggestions.”     

Still Mamatha’s happiness towards her brother was very much puzzling to Sirisha and she looked at the three months’ aged small baby in the cradle. While she was looking at the baby with small mouth, active eyes and black dense hair, she felt something deep which she could not explain to herself. For a moment she felt there was no surprise in Mamatha’s feeling happy at her little brother. If she let her mom to continue with her pregnancy, she too would have a little beautiful brother or sister like him in future.

“In fact I want a sister to play with me. But it really does not matter whether it is a sister or brother. A brother also can play with me and spend time with me just like a sister.” While looking at her brother with the same love and affection on her face Mamatha said. She was very much protective towards him and was not leaving him even for a moment.

Sirisha did not forget about the brother of Mamatha even after she reached home. In the night of that day she got a dream. In that dream her mom got her abortion. After that a baby just like the baby she saw at Mamatha’s house yelled loudly while weeping ‘You killed me. You killed me. You are a murderess. You are a murderess.”

Sirisha woke up and sat straight on the bed. She started feeling very much bad and for a moment she thought to go to her mom and tell her not to get abortion. But with effort she diverted her mind from that thought. Once her parents also agreed to it, it would be just foolishness to ask her mom to change her decision. With no siblings she could spend her whole life just in the same with her parents. She once again laid on her back, turned on the right side and tried to sleep but her sleeping then was fitful.

&&&

Chandana’s family could not reach her home as they expected and it became eight in the night by the time they settled in the house.

“I have missed to go to Mamatha’s party in the evening. I have promised her to attend it.” once her parents and she settled in the hall in chairs, Chandana said.

“If we have delayed like this to come to home, it was not your mistake.” Her dad Madhukar said. “Anyhow is it is her birthday?”

“No of course.” With a smile on her lips Chandana said. “This birthday was for her little brother who took birth just three months back and they named him on this day. And you know one thing!” Chandana paused a little. “Mamatha herself selected the name for her brother.”

“It is indeed beautiful! But she has a brother now?” with little frowns on her forehead Madhukar asked her.

“Yes, there is more than fourteen years age gap between them both. But still she is feeling so much happy for him. She said her mom promised to give her a sibling when she was three years old and only now it has become possible to her to give her a brother. But the delay did not make any difference to her and she is just very much joyous now also.” Chandana said.

“Why it should make any difference? With however much age gap a brother is a brother. How nice it is to have an own sibling whether it is brother or sister! Your friend is very much lucky.” Her mom Sameera said.

“I also share the same opinion.” Her dad Madhukar said.

“But it is not so at all to my friend Sirisha.” with gathered frowns Chandana said. “Her mom also became pregnant and Sirisha all the time is just feeling hate towards her incoming sibling. She cannot feel even a little love and affection on it.”

 “Why it is so?” Sameera knitted her brows with surprise, first looked into her daughter’s face, then into the face of her husband there also and then again into the face of Chandana. There was the same sort of expression in the face of Madhukar also.

“She is feeling fear that she has to share everything of her with her sibling and she does not like it. Another fear of her is; that her dad cannot expend money for her medicine studies if he has to look after another child of him also.”

“Absurd thinking! There is no loss even she does not become a doctor. Having a sibling, a blood relation like that is a great thing! Take her to me and I brainwash her and made her understood how worst she is thinking.”

“She went to that extent to demand her mom to abort her pregnancy. For the last few days she has not been with good terms with her mom. There is a cold war going in their home.” Her face was filled with uneasiness when she thought her demand like that was because of her advice.

“Then what you are doing despite being a good friend of her? Why did not you say to her in how much wrong way she is thinking? As her best friend, is it is not your responsibility to change her mindset?” looking straight into the face of her daughter Sameera demanded.

“But mom, it is at my instance she asked like that to her mom! It is I who suggested her to demand her mom to get an abortion!” now Chandana’s face was filled with a fearful expression thinking how her mom’s reaction would be to that but she did not know why could not remain without saying that.

“You scoundrel! Do you know what you did?” her mom’s reaction to that was as she feared, she yelled, came fast to her daughter and slapped on her right cheek with her right hand with all her might. “Why the bloody hell you got an idea like that? Why did you want to give an advice like that to her?”

“She does not like at all to share her things with a sibling and feeling fear that she cannot become a doctor if she has a sibling also. So I advised her like that.” She could not tell her mom that she advised her so because of her envy feeling also towards her.

“Rascal! Rascal!” her mom tried to slap her again but her dad came near to her and stopped her.

“She did a mistake yes. But she did it without thinking much. It is better to make amends to it rather than beating our daughter like this.” He said.

With effort her mom controlled herself and said looking into her dad’s face “You are right” and then she looked into the face of Chandana again. “I already told you before that killing a baby in the womb is equal to killing a person outside. If that girl forces her mom to get an abortion she would become a murderess and you are an accomplice to that murderess. An accomplice to the murderess is no less than a murderess. If her mom got her pregnancy aborted due to the demand of blasted friend of yours, you may not be punished by court but you have to live all your life with a guilty feeling that you caused the murder of a baby, can you bear it?”

“No mom. Absolutely no.” Nodding her head vigorously Chandana said trying herself not to burst into weeping.

“Then make your friend understand how nastily she is thinking and that much of selfishness is not excusable at all. As it is you who has given such a suggestion to her, it is your responsibility to make her to take back that demand. You must do this without much delay before she makes her mom do that ghastly thing.”

“Alright mom. I talk with her on tomorrow itself and make her understand this point. I make her withdraw her demand to her mom to abort her pregnancy.” With firmness in her voice Chandana said.

&&&

“Darling it is going to be done on the evening of this day. Dad comes in the afternoon and takes me to the hospital. I would not be at home by the time you come, so you keep the spare keys of the house with you.”

When she heard like that from her mom, Sirisha felt a deep pang in her heart and when she looked into the face of her mom while she was taking those keys, she understood her mom was very much struggling to keep a plain expression on her face.

“I need to take rest for few days. After that everything will be okay. We do live in just the usual way.” Sanjana hugged her daughter and kissed on her both cheeks. Sirisha tried to look into her face again but she did not give her a chance to that and went into the kitchen. 

Feeling uneasily, Sirisha unzipped the last pocket of her school big, put the keys in it and zipped it again before coming out of that house. She started trying to lessen her uneasiness but the more she tried to reduce it the more it has become. Her mom has become ready to do something which she did not like at all only for her. She could understand her mom was struggling and worrying a lot to do that thing. In fact her both parents did not like it at all and wanted to have that child but she knew it was her mom who was worrying a lot about it. But they both ultimately agreed to forsake it only for her satisfaction! Because of her stubbornness! Why could not she think about her parents, particularly for her mom, atleast for a moment?

Sirisha tried hard and diverted her thinking but immediately Mamatha and her brother were surfaced in her mind. Mamatha might not have a big aim to become a doctor but she also would have some goal for herself. It would be difficult to her parents also to look after her with another child of them.  Moreover her family was not as much richer as Sirisha’s family. But Mamatha was feeling so much happy to have a brother like that. Why could not she think as Mamatha was thinking even after her dad assured her that there would be no problem to her to study medicine and he could afford to look after even ten children?

“It seems you have no concentration on whatever is going on.” Sirisha indeed startled when she heard it so from her science teacher looking at her as she was full of disturbing thinking until that moment and could not concentrate on anything. “I have to go suddenly to my home yesterday. Come to the teachers’ room in the lunch hour. I need to have some conversation with you.”

Feeling uneasily what explanation she has to give for her dismal performance in her science exam to her science teacher, Sirisha started moving towards teachers’ room in the lunch hour but she stopped hearing Chandana’s voice from behind. They could not talk much at all from the moment they came to the school as the teachers came into the classes without giving break in the middle.

“I need to talk to you, where you are going?” Chandana came near to her and asked.

“Science teacher wants to talk with me........” Sighing heavily Sirisha said “.........once I finish with it we both can talk.”

Chandana nodded her head and Sirisha resumed her walking towards her destination. But when Sirisha went into the teachers’ room, science teacher was not there and the peon there told her that she went to talk with headmistress and she could take her lunch there and wait for her. It was uncomfortable to Sirisha to take her lunch in that room but as she did not know when the science teacher would come, she came back to the class room, took her lunch box to there, has her lunch and started waiting for science teacher. It was a room for all the teachers to take their lunch and be rested. More than half an hour has taken to the science teacher to come there.

“I just wanted to ask you Sirisha what is the reason for your dismal performance in your science unit test.” It was just as expected by Sirisha, science teacher asked that question while looking straight into her face. “If it is only in my subject I may take it as a mistake but your performance was just like that in all the other subjects also, I came to know from other teachers. You are a very intelligent girl and this type of disappointing performance is very first time from your side. We are all having very high hopes on you. I want to know what is the reason for it and why could not you write those examinations better?”

“I am in a little problem teacher so I could not write better the unit test exams.” Sirisha rehearsed this answer many times as she expected this question. “But that problem is going to be solved on this day itself and I shall be my usual in my studies.”

“It is very much surprising! As you are in a problem that you could not write the exams better! What type of a problem that a tenth class student does have restraining her from giving her best performance in the exams?” science teacher knitted her brows together.

Sirisha expected this question also but however much thought she did not know what to say to this.

“I am thinking that we have that much of intimacy between us both and that you can say this to me. If you are thinking it is something that you cannot share with me, you may go away but I talk with your parents.” Breaking the few seconds’ ensued silence, the science teacher said.

“No teacher, it is not so.” Sirisha said hastily. “But I just don’t know how to say this to you.” Sirisha’s face was filled with absolute uneasiness.

“Say it in the way you can.” Science teacher’s voice was firm. “But if you go away from here without saying it, I shall talk to your parents.”

“My mom is pregnant. She is going to give birth to a sibling to me. That thing upset me a lot so I could not write the unit test examinations better.” As if she could not say it in her usual way, Sirisha said it fast. “But that problem is going to be solved on this day.”

“It is not unusual moms become pregnant.” With a surprising expression in her face science teacher said. “But how that matter upsets you?”

“How my dad can expend money for my medicine study if he has to look after another child also? So I became upset and started feeling uneasy. So I could not write my unit test examinations better teacher.” Sirisha did not want to say to her teacher that she did not like either a brother or sister sharing everything of her.

“Did your dad say to you that he cannot meet the expenditure of your medical studies after having another child to him?” science teacher knitted her brows together.

“No, of course.” Sirisha nodded her head in negation. “He said that he can make me doctor even after he has another child.” Sirisha did not like to put in the exact way what her dad said.

“I know about your family Sirisha. Your dad can make you a doctor easily while meeting the expenditure of another child also. Anyhow even after an assurance from your dad also why you felt uneasy and spoiled your examinations?”

“My dad said it only after my writing those examinations.” Sighing heavily Sirisha said. “Now I am feeling quite comfortable and easy teacher. I can manage my studies and exams just in the usual way.”

“Then there is no problem! As it is early, if you do concentrate and study from now on, you can get the best rank in the final exams and keep our school’s name. Don’t forget to share if you do face any problem whatever sort that is. You may go now.”

“Just a moment!” Sirisha once again sighed heavily, relaxed herself and about to come away from that room but once again heard her science teacher like that and turned back.

“What month of pregnancy your mom is carrying on now?” once again with knitted brows looking straight into her face, the science teacher asked her.

“I don’t know about the month teacher but it is not advanced. I came to know about it from my mom only one month or so back.” Once again feeling uneasily Sirisha said.

“Then why did you say that your problem is going to be solved on this day? I just cannot understand!” the expression in the face of her science teacher then was confusion. “It takes eight months or so to her to deliver the baby.”

“Teacher, I just don’t know..........” Sirisha just then realised that she has slipped that dangerous piece of information also at her science teacher. Her heart once again filled with complete uneasiness which was reflected in her face also.

“Tell me dear what is going to happen? How you can say it like that?” the serious expression and knitted brows were just like that in the science teacher’s face as if she could guess what was going to happen.

“She is going to have an abortion teacher.” With a small voice Sirisha said.

“Why it is so? Did doctors say she should not have that pregnancy as the child has some problem?” science teacher asked. “Otherwise no couple do like to lose their child.”

“No, teacher. It is not so.” With the same small voice and with the same uneasiness Sirisha said.

“Then what really made her took that decision? So far I can understand your dad also has no objection to that.”

“I demanded her for that.” Sirisha did not know how she said it like that. “I asked her to abort her pregnancy. Only for me both my parents agreed for this abortion.”

“My god! Sirisha what you are talking?” with a sudden shock filled face, the science teacher got off from the chair she sat. “You demanded your mom to get abortion of her pregnancy and she is going to lose it only for you!”

“Yes, teacher! You are right.” Sirisha hung her head.

“Why did you demand your mom so Sirisha? Tell me why did you do it?”

“I just don’t want to have a sibling teacher. I just cannot bear to share anything of me with anyone whether it is a brother or sister. So I demanded my mom to abort her pregnancy and she yielded to it.” the vehemence in the voice of her science teacher made Sirisha also give answer in such a vehement way.

“For the first time I am feeling hate on you Sirisha. How the bloody hell you can think like that? Just because of your selfishness you are going to become a murderess you know! Just because of you, your mom is going to let the child in her womb be killed.”

Her science teacher was talking with the same vehemence and it was scorching the heart of Sirisha. Murderess! She was the murderess because she was the reason for the abortion of her mom’s pregnancy. But it was the doctor who was going to kill it not her. If it was not allowable at all, why a doctor would agree to it? 

“I have three sisters and one brother Sirisha, whether you believe it or not. Our family is not a wealthy family like yours. But I never have felt like you. I always feel so happy with my sisters and brother. I just cannot say how much we have enjoyed in our childhood and we still enjoy like that together. None of us do feel the others are sharing the things of us. In fact we all do feel so happy to give our things, or share our things with our siblings. You are feeling like this just to share yours with one other sibling? I just cannot understand what type of a girl you are!”

Sirisha was dumbfounded on hearing that so and she did not know what to say.

“If you know the happiness in sharing, you never would think like that. That too sharing the things with your own siblings gives you just joy. A sibling from your parents is a gift to you Sirisha, not a competitor for anything of you. I don’t like your way of thinking at all.”

Sirisha just remained silent as her mind has become numb and she was feeling her legs might turn into jelly and at any moment she would tumble down on the floor there.

“If it is not possible to your dad to look after your medicine expenditure with another child to him, then forget your aim to become a doctor. There is no loss to anyone. But don’t make your parents to lose their precious child just because of your nonsense thinking.”

There was absolute silence and uneasiness on the part of Sirisha. She was waiting eagerly to get that session to come to an end and to go away from that room.

“For god’s sake don’t become a murderess! Stop your mom from having that abortion. You can go now.”

After hearing that, Sirisha did not know how she has come out of that room.

&&&

It was only in the playing hour that Sirisha and Chandana have got an opportunity to talk and it was the last hour of the class on that day. Sirisha was so much intent to tell the new developments in the matter of her mom’s pregnancy but before she said anything, Chandana said  “I need to say something to you.”

“Do that fast. I also have to talk with you.” Sighing heavily Chandana said. She did not even try to guess what Chandana was going to say as she was completely disturbed with what that science teacher has said. Still she was not hundred percent against her mom’s decision to get an abortion of her pregnancy and she was hoping that Chandana certainly would feel happy and support her for that.

“I am sorry. I am sorry that I should not have given an advice like that to you.” From the beginning they met on that day Sirisha was seeing a regretful expression in her face which was perplexing to her.

“What advice you should not have given to me?” Sirisha did not remember any other advice that Chandana has given to her except for the abortion of her mom.

“I should not have given the suggestion to you to make your mom agree to abortion. I just don’t know how I have become that much foolish and gave that suggestion to you.”

It shocked Chandna and she could not understand why her friend was talking like that. “What’s your wrong in that? As I was completely against an incoming sibling, you gave that suggestion to me.”

“It is not just so. It is I who made you completely against that rather than making you understand how wrong to think so. Moreover I did a grave mistake by giving you advice to demand your mom for an abortion.”

“I always think on my own before taking a decision Chandana. I did not ask my mom just because you advised me so. I also have thought that is the best thing not to have a brother or sister so I demanded my mom and ultimately she yielded to that.” Sirisha said.

“What’s the bloody thing you are saying your mom yielded to that?” with a shocking expression Sirisha asked her. “Did she agree to the abortion then?”

“Yes, of course!” Sirisha nodded her head. “It is scheduled on this day evening itself. My dad is going to take my mom to get her aborted. Just in half an hour or so they may start at home I think. My mom has given me the keys of my home also as they would not be at home by the time I go.”

“Oh, no. Please stop it. Please go to your home now itself and ask your mom not to have that abortion!” Chandana almost yelled on hearing that. “Don’t become a murderess and don’t make me an accomplice to you. An accomplice to a murderess is not less than the murderess!”

“That science teacher already made me lot upset by talking like this and now you are talking in this way?” Sirisha also yelled. “Just stop talking nonsense like this.”

“I just don’t know what you and that science teacher have talked.” Chandana’s voice was with the same vehemence. “But go and stop your mom from having that. Otherwise you just have to live your whole life with the guilty feeling that you caused the death of your sibling. Whatever you may achieve in your life cannot give you happiness.”

“What a sudden realisation in you!” with a sarcastic expression in her face Sirisha also yelled. “Why did not you think like this before? Why you have given an advice like that to me then?”

“It is envy. Just because of envy I always felt towards you, I have given a suggestion like that to you.” After saying that Chandana covered her face with both of her palms, burst into weeping and slumped herself on her knees on the floor there.

Sirisha more shocked than ever and dumbfounded! When she came out of her shock, she also slumped on her knees beside Chandana and put her right hand around her shoulders. “I just cannot understand even a little bit what you said. You felt envy to me!”

“Yes, I felt envy towards you.” Chandana looked into the face of Sirisha after removing her hands from her face but tears were still flowing down on her cheeks. “It is not so that I did not feel any friendship and love towards you. But I always felt envy and jealousy also towards you and eagerly waited to upset you and make you disturbed. Your mom’s getting pregnancy was just an opportunity to me to make you upset and I used it.”

Sirisha was aghast and just remained looking into the face of Chandana.

“I should have made you understand how nice and how wonderful it is to have a sibling when you expressed your disinterest on your incoming sibling. Instead of that I made you develop more hate on that and went to an extent to advise you to demand your mom for abortion of her pregnancy. As you always do feel me as your close friend and wishes your well being, you blindly followed my advice and demanded your mom so.”

“I already said to you...........” Sirisha was still with full of shock but managed to say. “..........I did not follow your advice blindly. I asked my mom only after...........”

“Just stop this! Go and stop your mom from having this abortion. Do this one thing and save yourself from the guilty of being a murderess and me from the feeling of an accomplice to a murderess.” Chandana stood to her full height and Sirisha also got up with her. “If you cannot become a doctor just because of another sibling to you, let it be. You do have lot for yourself even you have to share everything of you with your brother or sister, I know it. But don’t let this abominable thing to take place. Go and stop your mom. Don’t let her to have that abortion.”

“I just don’t know what to say.” With remorse Sirisha said. After seeing Mamatha feeling happy like that with her little brother a sort of transformation has started in her. After hearing the science teacher, it has become almost in her. After hearing Chandana like this it was complete in her but still she was in confusion.

“Until my mom beat me and chided me as I have advised you to ask your mom for an abortion, I just did not realise what a big mistake I did! You just don’t know how much eagerly I have been waiting to say this to you. Now you are saying that your mom is going to have the abortion. Just go and stop her!”

“Why did you tell about it to your mom also?” Sirisha knitted her brows together.

“I tell you everything later. But for the present, for god’s sake move fast and stop your mom from doing that. Stop yourself and me also from having the guilty feeling forever in our lives. Just go.” After saying that Chandana once again burst into weeping.

Then, just like lightening, Sirisha has got the full import of what Chandana has said! Now she was seeing Mamatha and her little brother in a different angle and automatically Mamatha was replaced by her and she started feeling her brother as her little brother. Then, suddenly then, she remembered the dream she got in which her brother was yelling ‘You killed me! You killed me!”

“No, I don’t kill you! I never let you die.” She yelled loudly and started running from that place. She just did not bother about the other students who were watching her so strangely then. With the equal gait, Chandana started following her.

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Sanjana and Rakesh were just about to lock the house and leave that place when Sirisha entered into it like lightening. Sirisha never have felt that much relieved finding her mom still in the home like that!

“Mom, you did not go yet! You have not got the abortion yet!” putting her both hands around her mom and hugging her strongly Sirisha yelled with happiness.

“I am just about to leave darling, your dad is also here to take me to the hospital.” Sanjana’s face was with full of surprise. “But you are little early on this day, are not you? As I have not expected you early on this day, I gave the keys of our house to you.”

“To stop you from having that, I have come home early mom!” looking into her mom’s face still holding her like that Sirisha said. “You are not going to have that abortion and I am going to have my beautiful brother or sister!”

“I cannot understand even a little dear!” Sanjana could not believe what she was hearing. “How this sudden transformation has possible?” then she looked into the face of Rakesh there and he was also in the same condition.

“For her demanding you to get an abortion then and for her opposing to it now also, I am the main reason.” Chandana who came just after Sirisha into that house said. “I am absolutely sorry. I am just unfit to be a friend to anyone.”

“Will you please stop that?” Sirisha relieved her mom, went near to Chandana and hugged her lovingly. “If I were in your place, I too would have felt like that. I said to you it was not just because of you I demanded my mom like that. Anyhow you are the main reason for the ultimate transformation in me.”

“Either of you please explain to us what really has taken place?” Rakesh asked her.

Even it was all quite confusing to both of them, it was just quite pleasant! They could not even imagine this type of joyous thing! 

“It is rather long to explain and I do that later.” Sirisha relieved Chandana and came near to her parents and said with a smiling face. “First of all we must have a celebration for my incoming sibling.”

“We sure do have.” Sanjana hugged Sirisha and laughed happily but her face became suddenly serious. “But dear are you sure about this? You were so much against it till very recently. If I cannot have it now, I never can. You yourself know abortion of advanced pregnancy is dangerous!”

“Mom, you just forget about that! I am terribly sorry that I asked you so. I am just waiting for my little sibling to come onto earth to play with him or her.” Kissing her mom on her right cheek, Sirisha said. “Whether it is a brother or sister really does not matter.”

Then they have the celebration for the same as Sirisha suggested in a nearby restaurant along with Chandana also and came back to home. Sanjana and Rakesh were quite happy as they did not expect at all that they would go to a restaurant for celebration instead to a hospital for abortion.

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It was just like magic for Sirisha as she never has thought that she could feel happy like that for the incoming sibling. The thought that she has to share everything with her sibling was giving just utmost happiness to her then. After seeing the relaxed feeling and happy expressions on the faces of her parents, she understood how much they felt uncomfortable and uneasy to get the pregnancy of her mom to be aborted. Sirisha was now enjoying every moment of her, could concentrate on her studies more than ever before. But Sirisha did not leave Chandana until she told why she has to tell about the story of her mom’s pregnancy to her mom and her parents did not leave Sirisha until she told them how such transformation has taken place in her.

With the same happy feeling while she was taking bath in her bathroom on that day, suddenly something came into her notice. She became a woman while she was studying her seventh class and except for one or two days she never was irregular in her periods so far she could remember. Now it was more than one week and she did not get her periods. She heard from her mom that sometimes periods would be irregular and there was no necessity to feel tension. But this much of delay was quite unusual to her and even she did not want she started thinking about it. While she was thinking like that, just like lightening something struck her and she suddenly felt as if she was hit by a thunderbolt. Until that moment, she completely has forgotten about the sexual intercourse she has with Manoj! The quite fit explanation for her delaying periods now was; she was pregnant! In other circumstances, an irregularity like this may be possible in periods but her subconscious was strongly telling her it was just because she was pregnant.

‘My god! What I should do now?’ her whole heart was filled with utmost fear and she started feeling that her legs were becoming jelly. How could she say this to her mom and how could she remain without saying that to her? She was shivering in herself thinking how her mom’s reaction was going to this. She could not even imagine that. But how could she remain without saying this? It would be even more horrendous if it has come into the notice of her parents at an advanced stage and there would be no chance of an abortion also. Even while feeling fear like that also, Sirisha has come to a decision to tell about it to her mom.

“Mom, I missed my periods.” On the night of that day while her mom was all alone in the kitchen, Sirisha went near to her and said with a voice that could be hardly audible to her feeling lot of tension and uneasiness in herself.   

“Are you trying to say something to me?” Sanjana turned her head and looked into the face of Sirisha. “If it is so just say it little loudly.”

“Mom, it is one week after due time for my periods.”  Even Sirisha was feeling fear a lot, she made her voice louder audible enough to her mom.

“I already told you sometimes we are irregular in that.” Once again putting herself into her work Sanjana said. “In one or two days you do have it and there is no necessity to feel tension.”

“But I am not thinking like that mom. I am not feeling it is just an irregularity. I never have been delayed this long in having my periods.” However much tried Sirisha could not refrain little shivering in her voice and she just did not know how to say that to her mom.

“Sometimes there is an irregularity with that much length also. You don’t feel unnecessary fear. We wait for another one week or so and by then also if you have not got it, we sure do go to a gynaecologist.” Sanjana still did not bother with what Sirisha has said and the little shivering in her tone could not get the attention of her mom.

“I think we have to go to a doctor as soon as possible mom, without any delay.” This time also Sirsha’s voice shivered and this time it attracted the attention of Sanjana also. She left the ladle in the pan, turned towards Sirisha and looked straight into her face. “Even after my assurance also, why you are feeling like that?”

“Just because I am feeling fear that I am pregnant!” Sirisha did not how she has put that out so.

“What, what the bloody hell you are talking?” it took some seconds to Sanjana to understand what her daughter said and the shock she felt then was amply reflected in her face.

“Yes mom. I became too much angry on you as you were stubborn to keep your pregnancy. I just wanted to hurt you to the maximum and I thought it was the best way for it. So I have sex with someone without any protection.” Sirisha forgot all her fear and just decided to tell her mom everything.

“You rascal!” immediately Sanjana slapped on Sirisha’s right cheek with her right hand with all her might. “Do you have any idea at all what you did? However much hate you might have felt on me, how could you do it like that?” Sanjana was yelling.

“Mom, I know that I was wrong! I should not have committed that wrong at all. But I was mad, just mad at that time so I did not think anything else at all.” Sirisha burst into weeping. “Sorry mom, I am absolutely sorry.”

“My god! What should we do now?” Sanjana went near to a chair at the dining table, dragged it and slumped herself in that. “What we can do if you are really pregnant?”

“Mom, please don’t say like that.” Sirisha’s weeping was intensified even more.

“What can I say then? For the first time I am feeling bad that I have become pregnant again. I did not feel bad for my second time pregnancy even then when you opposed it so much. I have some hope sooner or later that you do agree with it. But now...........” Sanjana paused for a second. “.............if I did not become pregnant you would not have committed this wrong at all.”

“Mom, I am promising you I never do commit this type of wrong in the whole of my life again. But please don’t feel regret for your pregnancy now when I also do love a lot my incoming brother or sister.” Somehow Sirisha controlled her weeping.

“Its okay but what we can do if you are pregnant? Can I take you to a hospital and get your pregnancy aborted without telling this to your dad? I just don’t know how your dad would react if he comes to know about this.”

On hearing that Sirisha’s face also has been filled with a horrifying expression just like her mom. There was painful silence between them both for sometime during which Sanjana digested what she heard and broke that silence after coming to a decision.

“Alright dear. First we have to confirm ourselves whether you are pregnant or not. Why do we unnecessarily break our heads without knowing about it.” Sanjana got off from the chair she sat and said. “I go out and get a pregnancy testing kit. You too don’t worry unnecessarily. You may not be pregnant at all now.”

“I am sorry mom, I am absolutely sorry.” Sirisha strongly hugged Sanjna once again and burst into weeping. “I don’t know how to convince you but I never do this type of wrong again.”

“You need not dear, I am convinced.” Sanjana kissed on the head of Sirisha and relieved herself from her daughter. “First let us over with it. We need to be convinced that you are pregnant before deciding what to do.”

Sirisha remained silent while her mom was moving away from that place but after walking until the doorsill there just like a lightening Sanjana got that thought only then, she turned back, looked straight into the face of her daughter and asked “Who is that guy Sirisha?”

“Mom.........” Sirisha also was expecting that question but relieved till that moment as her mom not asked about it.

“You heard the question clear Siri, I know.” Sanjana came near to Sirisha still looking into the face of her daughter. “Who is that guy took advantage of my innocent girl?”

“Mom, no one has taken advantage of me and I am not innocent.” Sirisha felt surprise for the firmness in her voice. “With the idea to become pregnant I made him to have it with me.”

Sanjana once again became very much angry but before she said anything Sirisha said.

“I want to be frank with you mom. There is no mistake on the part of that guy. I almost coerced him to have it with me. I was that much angry with you and want to become pregnant.” The firmness was just so in the face of Sirisha.

“Still I want to know who is that guy?” Sanjana’s voice also was as much firm as her daughter’s.

“Manoj mom, it was Manoj..........” Sirisha mumbled but her voice was clear and audible to Sanjana. Sanjana turned and went away from that place without saying anything.

&&&

The relief the mom and daughter felt when it was known that Sirisha was not pregnant by the pregnancy test was abundant! Sanjana hugged her daughter and kissed on her both cheeks while tears were flowing down on her cheeks.

“I am so happy now. You are not pregnant.” Sanjana was exclaimed and her voice was also with happiness.

“Mom, are you sure absolutely? For more than one week I missed my periods and it is very first time like this in my life.” Sirisha was also feeling as much happy as her mom but still was feeling some suspicion.

“This pregnancy kit never tells wrong dear. Both the times I was pregnant I have checked myself with this and it proved right.” Sighing heavily Sanjana said. “Sometimes we do become irregular in periods this long also and you just stop feeling fear.”

But both the mom and daughter felt fear that the pregnancy test might be wrong till the night of that day when Sirisha got her periods and whatever little tension and anxiety they were feeling upto then was completely vanished.

&&&

“We share everything in between ourselves from scratch, are not we?”

On the next day when Sirisha got her periods and Sanjana and herself were completely relieved from their tension, Rakesh came. When they both were all alone in the bedroom, Sanjana said that to him.

“We were the lovers, before becoming wife and husband” Rakesh laughed. “That might be the reason we don’t keep anything without telling to the other. From scratch it is like that.”

“That is why I want to say it to you.” Even in the beginning she did not want to tell this to Rakesh but ultimately she came to the opinion to say about it to him. “It would not make any difference even I don’t tell you about this now but I want to tell.”

Only then Rakesh noticed the serious expression in her face and understood the matter was not something easy. “I am all ears dear. Just tell me what it is?” a curious expression filled his face.

Then in a measured tone Sanjana told him what their daughter did feeling too much hate on them, how they both felt tension thinking that she might be pregnant and how they both have been relieved absolutely after the pregnancy test and her periods. She explained everything she knew about it.

“My god! Is it is true?” Rakesh sat bolt straight with absolute shocking expression in his face. “Our daughter could do like that?”

“Our daughter could do like that.” Sanjana nodded her head. “Because of the immense hate feeling towards me just because I did not agree for the abortion, she wanted to hurt me and has it with that Manoj.”

“That rascal Manoj! He always appears like a good boy and he took advantage of our daughter like that!” Suddenly Rakesh became angry.

“He has not taken advantage of our daughter Rakesh, our daughter is not a fool to let someone take advantage of her.” Sanjana said. “Unless with that hate on me, she never would have even thought about it.”

Rakesh remained silent as he did not know what to say.

“She said she coerced him to have it with her and there was no wrong on his part and I do believe in that hundred percent. If a beautiful girl like our daughter advances herself, who remains without putting himself into action?”

“But that rascal our daughter..........” Rakesh once again became angry. “...........however much anger she felt on you, she should not have committed that wrong! Don’t you know how much big mistake that is?”

“Rakesh, even by the time of our generation itself youth have changed a lot. There is no necessity to say about the present generation. All the time what the parents of the girls are wishing is that they don’t get pregnancies and diseases. It is somehow surprising that our daughter did have it at her tenth class itself but not very much surprising and not as much bigger mistake as you are thinking.”

“Are you supporting our daughter having sex like that?” Rakesh knitted his brows together.

“I am not supporting or discouraging anything. I just want to say something; that is we cannot escape from inevitabilities and have to understand facts. Just think seriously and tell me is it is that much unnatural and unusual to have sex in the youth? Even we were not sure that we could marry, how many times we both have...........”

“You are right I agree.” Sighing heavily Rakesh said. “But I am feeling very much uneasy thinking what our daughter did.”

“Our daughter promised to me that she never would commit that wrong again.” Sanjana put her both hands around his neck and kissed on his right cheek. “She is very much serious to become a doctor and you too know about it.”

“But once having the taste like that............” he knitted his brows together and gave a little pause “...............you know it is completely different after having the taste of it. Are you sure that our daughter can manage herself without having it again?”

“I am not sure but what I can do except doing what a mom has to do? I just have to advise her to have protected sex preventing pregnancies and diseases if she cannot control herself and I would do it for the first opportune moment itself.”

There was some silence again until it was broken by Rakesh. “I am feeling envy on that rascal Manoj who could have the pleasure of having our beautiful daughter at the expense of both of your tension and anxiety!”

“It is not just he who has that pleasure but our daughter also.” Sanjana laughed and said. “But I am sure it worths the tension and anxiety we felt later.”

“But dear one thing here.........” Rakesh’s face suddenly became serious again. “............she went to the extent of having it with a guy to become pregnant because of the hate feeling against us as we did not agree to the abortion. It was just because she hated her incoming sibling also that much! Do you think all that hate disappeared in her and she can love her sibling in the same way all the time?”

“Yes, Rakesh! I am just thinking like that.” Sanjana nodded her head. “The transformation that has taken place in her is absolute and complete whatever might be the situations forced it. You yourself saw how much she was agitated with the fear I might have got my abortion. Moreover I have been observing her for the last few days and she has been feeling just love and affection on her incoming sibling.”

After her saying so, he nodded his head happily and they both hugged gently and kissed each other on the faces. They both want to have it so intently but thinking it might not be better to the kid inside, they refrain themselves from having it. Their love and affection towards the incoming child could not make them dared to have it despite the doctor’s saying that there would be no danger in having it in a gentle way.

Epilogue

After the due time, in a natural and uncomplicated way, Sanjana gave birth to a daughter and Sirisha did not think that she would feel that much happy looking at her little sister. Just like Mamatha’s parents, Sirisha’s parents also gave her the liberty to name the child and give party to her friends on that naming occasion. With the same enthusiasm Sirisha did the both, put a name to her sister as Mandakini and gave a grand party to her friends on that naming occasion. Chandan and Sirisha were still close friends and Sirisha took the help of Chandana also to name her sister.

Sanjana advised her daughter what precautions she has to take if she could not control herself from having sex with a boy. Even it was a little early to say that to her daughter, as she has it already like that, Sanjana thought that it was important. But Sirisha said to her mom that never such a situation would arise and never she would do that wrong again! Her whole concentration was on her aim that was to become a doctor!

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As you are here, I hope that you read the story. Thank you very much that you preferred to read my story. If you bother to write a review also, I shall be so much grateful and thankful to you.

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