An Innate Desire

'What the fuck you think you are! My parents are everything to me. They have given me everything. They have sacrificed a lot for me. Bloody hell, you are an outsider. You have just come to divide us!' yelled Vinay at his wife with his protruding jaw and clenched fists. Vinay was quite difficult to be tackled during his anger. 

'But what did I say?', muttered Priya simultaneously feeling Vinay's heavy breath in the air. 'I am just apprising you for whatever is happening at home these days. Why do you think I am complaining? You are my husband so I felt I must share few things going on at home', continued Priya while Vinay walked away.

Vinay and Priya got hitched for over seven years now. In this untiring phase, Priya had certainly understood that Vinay was a blind devotee of his family; a family of around 10 know-it-alls. He loved Priya a lot, but the ultimate commitment was always for his family. 

 Priya, an overthinker, used to think a lot about little things. That night of squabble almost left her traumatised. She queerly grew quieter at home. She lied down straight and senselessly on her bed in her room, leaving her bosom and mid riff uncovered from her floating pallu, for hours staring with her intense eyes at the ceiling fan. She looked gorgeous with her georgette saree covering her beautiful body, the creases flaunted her curves very attractively. It seemed as if she owns red colour. The colour was perfect for her. She looked gracious but her eyes were swollen pondering over her golden period of courtship with Vinay. The couple never used to leave even a smaller chance to meet and kiss each other warmly. That was the time when meeting for even ten minutes would her brighten her life. She cherishes those moments of her days. 

'That's not my Vinay', suddenly she babbled to herself as her kajal blended black pearly tears trickled down on her favourite tailored pillow. The satin pillow had developed dark patches. These patches symbolised her love life, which was visible from every aspect. This couldn't be washed anyhow. 

The contented part of her life sent her a good cheer. . Obviously, the hurtful arguments and blames won't kill a person in a day.

'Priyaaaaaaa Priyaaaaaa' Vinay called her unrestrainedly. Priya quickly wiped her tears leaving no clue for her husband, adjusted her red saree and looked into the mirror to make sure there's no indication of her depressed countenance. She gathered her hair and made a round bun and came out of her room wearing a rhine stone bindi on her forehead, smile on her face. Vinay was enticed with her beauty again and felt proud about his choice.

'See who's here darling! Our besties....after a long time', Vinay continued. . 'What a pleasant surprise bhaiya!', Priya said excitingly seeing Rahul and his wife, Maya. 

'How are you Priya? Or shall we call you Nona like your loving husband used to call you', said Rahul mockingly. Priya tried a forced smile hesitantly. 

'Oh come on Rahul buddy! It's been 7 years now. Come lets have a drink.' said Vinay successfully digressing from the topic.

Maya and Priya were left alone in the room. Looking at each other with some innate desire, but the silence could be heard. It seemed both of them had been swallowing their anxieties to say few good things to each other but unable to do so. They wanted to share the storms of their own hearts with each other but 'how could they? ' Just to strike a conversation Maya said, 'Beautiful saree Priya'.

'Thank you, dear. How have you been Maya? You look so dull and pale. Are you not keeping well?' Inquired Priya.

'No, I am fine. It's all here, you know,' moaned Maya smacking her forehead. 'You know how does the world look at you and label you when you don't have a baby' she continued. 

'By the way, the smudged kajal on your puffy eyes is telling me a different story of yours too' investigated Maya. 

'Oh. .. hhh....nothing it is! It is just routine' said Priya nervously.

Priya was surprised to be noticed even when she did not leave a shade of doubt for anyone. Here she realised that she still could observe her very delicately. 

Staring at the arch of her kitchen, Priya gasped and said, 'It seems that Vinay doesn't love me at all. He makes me feel that I am an outsider and I don't belong to him. . .' Priya's face hung down, as she uttered and wept bitterly. 

The brown flicks of her hair abruptly touched her ear lobe but looked extremely attractive. Maya wanted to embrace her warmly as she could feel her intense emotions. .'But would embracing is enough or she needs more?' Maya wondered. 

As Maya hugged Priya to console her, she felt hot flush in her face and body as their bodies touched each other. She now wanted Maya to clasp her unlike a friend but wanted something more. . 

'I am feeling alive Maya, I am feeling alive. .' Priya wailed.

'Everything will be fine. Calm down. .' Maya consoled her.

'Don't leave me, Maya. .' and she tapped a kiss on her lips.

Maya was surprised at once but felt good. Maybe she also wanted this to be reconciled. She caressed and pelted Priya back with numerous kisses.

We have been doing something so odd, so queer — or rather, something which though perhaps neither odd nor queer in itself, has filled me with such odd and queer sensations . . (The thing, by the way, was entirely connected with you, and wild horses won’t drag from me what is was.) Vita's lines reverberated in Maya's ears.

'Okay, that's it, Priya! We can't continue with these feelings. This happens only in books not in reality. Let's accept our fates and move on.' Maya said firmly leaving Priya mistified. Then they kissed for the last time and buried their inner desire forever . . .