Tired

Dazed and lost, unaware I be.

Where am I heading to?

Where do I belong?

Tired, slowly I give up being me.

Nothing to look forward to,

Everything seems wrong.

Amidst all false hopes, fake smiles-

I have no true shoulder to lean on.

I keep disappointing all,

I keep facing pitfalls,

Lacking interest in everything around me,

Till perilous end of a black hole I fall.

Reality shows red flags blaring,

Says past decisions laughing back at me

“Weren’t you confident you will survive?

Why look who is in tears, sinking?”

Lost and scared, I cry for solace.

After every possible attempt, I fail.

They say don’t give up, best will come!

For the best, maybe another path I need traverse.

The present path is thorny, relentless.

For what seems eons, I can’t find the end!

Light, where are you?

Darkness seems absolute seamless!

My limbs, heart and soul go numb-

Nothing matters anymore!

Tired of everything- to a barren abyss,

Is where I succumb.

Nepenthe, oh nepenthe I seek-

Or maybe hemlock to end it all?

I need an instant release-

Oh great heavens, be merciful and save me!

You’re a saviour the people proclaim,

And despite in rut I keep believing You.

I hope against hope for I understand,

You exist and love me- thus I’m breathing even today!