If I Lose My Eyesight

It was this moment I feared the most for.

While I had it all this while,

All I did was take it for granted.

I would wake up with a jolt

In the middle of the night, as an 8 year old

In my tiny bedroom with painted stars

That glowed in the dark on the roof, 

just to make sure I could still see these stars.

As time passed I realised people do,

survive with visual disabilities.

Life goes on for them too,

But the fear persisted.

The constant fear that one day,

I might wake up to not be able to see,

what colors I paint on my canvas.

To not be able to see those beautiful mountains and waterfalls,

that I'd always want to paint.

While I applied thick layers of paint,

I'd never be able to see the tiny uneven depths of colors.

I feared I'd never be able to see the people I love again.

For a person with issues differentiating faces from one another,

In this crowded little world,

I was scared I would forget the faces I love.

From love to joy to excitement,

my eyes are the windows to my world.

Losing them would mean losing myself.

Losing myself in this big world just seems like

an ironic little joke,the kind

that change everything,

for good or for bad.