Ablaze

I'm burning

The red fire inside the core of my body

Rises with its million tongues

The veil of smoke makes my silhouette a blur

I am burning

And I don't know how to stop.

Put out the fire!

It's an unholy disaster

I am an unholy disaster

I can't stop the fire, Baba,

I tried bathing in the Ganges

Almost drowned in my own tears-

My rotten flesh still chars.

Why am I burning, Ma?

Was I not a good girl?

Appropriate is my nickname

At least in society, I am

Miss Prim and Proper.

I know I show my teeth to you, Ma

I don't know who else I can turn to.

I really am sorry.

Is that why I burn?

I have the need to please them all

Be cool

Don't be that all-hating girl

Finding problems with the world

Especially when you can do nothing about it.

Especially when you believed you could.

Ignorance is bliss

Don't set your expectations so high

That they almost touch the danger sign of 'Ideal'.

Ideal isn't real

The red flags aren't either, convince yourself.

Bury your head in your rabbit hole

Maybe you'll extinguish those deadly flames.

Who does those flames want to touch?

Why are they so angry?

There are fresh eyes opening inside my soul

They see too much

I don't know how to shut them

The rabbit hole is too far away now.

Cynic turned misanthrope?

I refuse to be that one.

There is good, I have seen it.

I have, I must remember that.

I yell and scream at my own burning self

Until the fire calms down.

I'm numb now, the blaze is over.

Looking aimlessly at the city's skeleton

I distance myself as far as I can.

Survival needs escape.

I don't know who's there with me,

But I can still feel

The flicker that lives on

In my eyes.

All that the flicker needs

Is a trigger

And I'll be ablaze again.

Because I don't know how to stop.