A Display Of Anger

Red Hot anger surged through my veins

It surprised me more than It did anyone

How can I hold so much hatred within me, I wondered

This was so unlike me

My frustration was usually communicated through salty tears

Rather than sharp words

I prided myself on my patience and perseverance

I tried hard to keep a calm demeanour

I smiled even my heart bled

I firmly believe in bottling up my emotions

And was quite successful until now

Suddenly, my feelings are all over the place

The slightest event could trigger a full-grown reaction

I am in a constant defensive mode

Maybe my loneliness is finally acting up

Is it a way of expressing my pain?

Is it a form of disappointment?

Sometimes, it feels like misdirected anger

Who am I angry on?

Is it on others?

Or Am I angry with myself?

I feel so guilty about it

Yet urge myself to embrace it

I wish I could let it go

Still, I want to wear it like an armour