Broken Heart & Shattered Dream

The spark was created during our first full moon. We exchanged numbers. Facebook pop-ups became WhatsApp messages and whole different things got changed and evolved in a short span of time. By the end of six months, I felt that she was mine.

A simple “hi” became “haaaiii with a smiley” and then evolved to “hai baby”

Calling dear became darling and then it changed to honey bunch

“Can we meet?” became “let's meet” and eventually to “I'm waiting near the gate”

Heartbeats changed from 72 to 92 and then over 150 per minute when she was with me

Her picture was “set as” to phone contacts and to eventually to phone wallpaper

Hi-5 emoticon became hugs and eventually turned into kissing smileys

Kissing in the messages became kissing in person; hand, forehead, cheek, lips, neck and to every part of the body

Cheesy talks became flirty and then became erotic conversations

Curiosity changed to protectiveness and evolved into possessiveness

“Talk with me” became “ I miss you” and eventually “I need you”

We started to meet more and started to miss even more. The more we meet the more we missed each other. Be it 2 hours, 6 hours, 12 hours, a whole day, it would feel like I did not get enough of her. They say that too much of anything is not good. I started craving for more of her. “I will never leave you she said”. My heart experienced ultimate joy at that moment. Little did I know that after 28 full moons she would not be with me.

She believed in me more than she believed her parents, yet she chooses to make her parents happy and left me in the dust.

I used to crave to see a full moon. I would wait 29.5 days just to see it. I would go to the terrace and stare at the moon. I would do this because I know that she also would be doing the same. In this way, I could see her face in the moon. The feeling can't be described through words. Perhaps “Magical” is the word I was looking for? I should have known that Magic is nothing but tricks performed in a deceptive way at lightning speed.

These days I avoid seeing the full moon, not because I don't want to see her face in the moon, its because it reminds me that there is no such thing as love. If it was there then I would not have been alone now.

The only love which exists in the world is unconditional love which you get from your parents and from dogs.

My brain knows this is over but the heart wants what the heart wants! My brain deleted all the memory of her. But the heart bought back those memories by digging deep into my subconscious. I can still remember her face. I can still smell her scent. I can still feel her presence within me.

I miss her...

I miss the sparkle in her eyes when she talks to me,

I miss the dimple in her cheeks,

I miss her irregular cute teeth which compliment her smile,

I miss her velvety soft cheeks,

I miss touching her cheeks and squeezing it,

I miss her soft butter-like hands,

I miss her shy face,

I miss her warm hugs where I can sleep for ages,

I miss her beauty mole on top of her lips,

I miss her soft mellow hair which I want to brush all day with my hands,

I miss giving her my love,

I miss pampering her,

I miss her being with me,

I miss her...

The only thing I have with me right now are faded memories of the night she met her maker and this oxygen mask on my face. With a broken heart and shattered dreams, I commenced my journey to the gates of heaven. I started searching for her once I reached there....

She was nowhere to be found.

From the diaries of fragmented hearts who deserved better.