Wings

Light. Harsh. So harsh. Eyes hurt. Pain.

Rejection. Pain. So much pain. Why?

Rejection. But why?

Rejection…

For the strangeness on the back?

Rip them off!

If safety from rejection, gladly.

AGONY. Darkness. Blessed silence.

Light again. Not so harsh this time. Perhaps a bit friendly?

Not so much rejection either. Censure certainly. It will be some time before they forget the strangeness. MY strangeness. But I am no longer strange. I am like them now.

First steps. The joy of new discovery. A smile. It is beautiful. Sounds. They don't make my ears bleed anymore.

First words. Laughter. Joy.

Learn it. Politeness. Meekness. Learn it. Respect betters. Be satisfied with what you have. Learn it. Bow your head. Learn it.

I am an exemplary student. Acceptance at last! Yet a strange weight hampers from its position on my back.

Something new. Curiosity. Why?

Learn it. Never ask! You will be told all you need to do.

Exemplary student. First brush with stifling. Uncomfortable.

Learn. Walk. Run. Smile intermittently. Conform. Still hampered by the strange weight. Forgetfulness.

Till……

Fireworks exploding. Someone new?!

Welcome, the blood of my blood. Pure delight.

Eyes sparkling with trust. Wetness in mine.

Strange new sensations. Fluttering in the region between my neck and navel! Uncomfortable!!! Yet glorious.

Oh! It's love, they say.

My hands on his tiny head, lips on his temple. I will protect, I say. Protect that little piece of innocence.

Absolute trust. Humbling.

The weight is no longer so hampering. Why?

Lessons return quickly. Keep the questions in. For now at least.

Companions. They understand me. Somewhat

 Encouragement. First brush with independence. Crippling. Retreat quickly. But I will return. Turn away. Conform. It is not time yet.

Strange shapes peeking from my back when I stare into the mirror.

Fear!

Hide it quick. Never invite censure again. Again?

Forgetfulness.

The new life has grown. Does not need me as much anymore. Watch over it whilst seeming not to.

It is a beautiful source of joy.

Growth again. There is now a distance between us. It is expected they say. Why do I not believe them then?

But love is still the same. Relief.

Strangeness peeking out more often.

An unusual occasion. They won't be hidden. Rather stubborn now. Wonder where they got it from. Hide damn it!!!

Shut door opens suddenly. And he looks at me, eyes wide, the blood of my blood.

NO!!!

Hide quick. Blocked by him.

"Sis, you have wings" a voice of pure wonder. No censure.

I peek at him through half-closed lids. Guilelessness only.

Perhaps it is not the time for fear yet. We have a secret now. Distance disappears.

Encouragement. It is new. For it is from the blood of my blood. Fly, he says.

Never. It is strange.

He does not know.

I cannot.

Makes no difference how hard I try.

I should know, for tried I have. Acute disappointment.

But I cannot fly. I never will.

Danger lurks at the horizon, unseen. Invisible. Unexpected.

And then it strikes.

NO!!!

No, please not him. He did nothing wrong.

Perhaps it is a punishment for daring to think about not conforming. No….

No. No. NO!

I said I would protect. And I will.

Danger no concern.

Run through it. Agony.

Fear. Let go.

Manners. Meekness. Politeness.

Let go.

Conformity.

Let go!

Difficult.

Oh so difficult!

But I will. For him, I will.

Letting go. Of strings that bind me to them. Independence. Just as terrifying as the first time.

Then wonder of wonders, my wings unfurl of their own accord.

They will not be hidden anymore.

And I Fly.

With him. I fly.

Pride in his eyes. Tears in mine.

I fly.