The Letter

So the time was of Diwali, one of India's biggest celebrated festivals. As a ritual, I was cleaning my shelf and suddenly my hand hit a box. A box full of memories, in which there was all the stuff which you could find in a sixteen-year-old teenager's life. In that stuff, there was a letter. A letter that brought out all the memories back in the lane. A letter which I wrote in the tenth standard but was never able to give it to the person who was supposed to be the real owner of it. "I wish things were different, but they are not. It all started in my teen years. The day I first saw you, I was mesmerized by your voice. You were the topper of the class and I took advantage of being just an average student and coming to you again and again to clear my doubts. Although the doubts were never actually the doubts, they were just a little escape which I used to get close to you and know you better. We came really close but then you gave me the name of a best friend. My instinct was not to tell you about my feelings because I never wanted to lose you. I was still in love with you but never dared to tell you. But then when you told me about your migration to the other city, I didn't know how to react. It was just me, my secret diary and a little something which I tried to write to you. It went like "These nights are not nights, these nights are the time for us to meet, where we elope from the idea of getting close physically but find a way of making our souls come close to each other. 

Let's just talk about today, keeping just a little hope for tomorrow because we don't know if our eyes will get open or not tomorrow, we will get to see the sunlight or not tomorrow. But let's just keep each other in our dreams which our eyes will see. 

Don't make me the promises of forever, I just want you here with me at this very moment. The greed of love that you have given me, just stay with me satisfying my greed for a while. And if my love you have a little time then let's just fall in each other's arms, making our hearts say what they actually wanna say. Let's just go to the town of hearts." I thought of giving it to you and confessing my love for you but eventually, I didn't. It was not me but my fear of losing you which dragged me back and stopped me from saying anything except a 'Goodbye!' I still do love you and I know that my heart won't allow me to love someone else now. You were, are, and will always be my secret crush." The letter read like this. It's been ten years since I wrote this letter. After reading the letter, a tear fell from my eye. I instantly tried to search him on Facebook and luckily found his profile as well but then my eyes saw a status on his wall which said "Married." I just smiled realizing that there was a time when my fear of losing him dragged me back from confessing my feeling to him and today it is the time when my fear of getting back to him is dragging me back from sending just a stupid text to him.