Thank You

The first time I saw her, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. There was something very special about her. That was the first day I realized, you don’t need tons of make up to look good. Her grace, elegance and poise were complemented by her voice and command over her subject. When she spoke, the entire room listened in rapt attention – not because we were forced to, but because we wanted to. That was her strength. She made learning so much fun!

Back then, as a teenager, going to school never appeared to be a chore and a huge credit goes to her. She was one of the reasons why each of us looked forward to school. The way she introduced us to the beauty of English Literature is a big factor in why we still enjoy reading, despite having diverse careers.

While everyone loved her, ours was a special relation. I had to change my school mid-session, thanks to my father being transferred in the middle of the year. While changing schools is fun when you are younger, it is nothing short of a tragedy as you grow up. Moving out from the secured circle of friends to an unknown place amidst strangers is scary to say the least.

It was with this fear and skepticism, I entered her class. She was my assigned class teacher. The way she made me feel welcomed and comfortable helped me cope with those initial few days. Sitting there, among all the unknown faces, trying to judge me and slot me in their social hierarchy, it was her charm that gave me the strength I needed. She understood, without my saying so, that I will need help fitting in. And she gave it willingly!

That one year and the few after that while I was in school, I learnt so much from her. Even after passing out of school and throughout my further studies as well as the corporate jobs, whenever someone appreciated my command over the language, my thoughts would inevitably go to her and I would thank her in my mind. Though, never could I pick up the courage to speak to her, once I left school. I still don’t know what stopped me!

While I was planning to write to her or connect with her to say thank you, I never did that until 12 years later. That year on Teacher’s day, there was this overpowering feeling that gripped me and I sent her a private message via a social media platform. I never expected her to read it or remember me. I was sure so many of her students kept writing to her and she wouldn’t remember me. I was on top of the world to see her reply. She had not only remembered me, but also written back and seemed happy and surprised with my message.

That reply gave me the courage and I decided to write to her often. But as usual, I kept postponing and that overpowering feeling which made me write that one time never came back. The days became months and months became years, but I never did write to her. Just kept planning what I will be writing as and when I got to.

It came as a bolt from the blue, when I heard of her demise. Here I was, planning and procrastinating on writing to her. And now, there was no way I could reach out to her. What came as a bigger shock to me was the fact that I never knew she had cancer. She was recuperating from her treatment and recovering when I wrote to her the last time. Now I know what made me write to her, and that is a small consolation.

There are so many things in life that can be understood with logic, some relationships are simply beyond words. Although I never got to say it to her in person, every time I come across a beautiful line that I read or hear, my heart says, “Thank you Ma’am. Thank you for introducing me to this beauty and thank you for everything.”