Mother?

'Childbirth' and 'Motherhood' - An ineffable feeling

The A2Z Magazine,

12th August, 2018.

These are simple, yet the most powerful words. Countless women have died in the past because of childbirth. Today, the technological advancements in the medical field have given a cure to almost every possible ailment. Till date, Normal delivery is undoubtedly the best option for childbirth. Yet, the excruciating labour pain the mother undergoes remains unchanged. C-Section has become common nowadays. But can we imagine purposely cutting our pinky finger? May be that is why 'Childbirth' is referred as 'Re-Birth' or 'Second life' for women till date. The pain and stress that every woman undergoes is not as trivial as these two words may sound. Every girl realises that in some point of her life she has to undergo this pain as a law of nature. But at the moment we are about to experience it, anxiety reaches the summit. A mom's sacrifice begins from the moment she knows she is pregnant and it ends only on her last breath. The pain she undergoes to bring her child into this world is indescribable. She sacrifices her facade, her time, her personal space, her likes and literally everything in her life to take care and nurture her children. She toils in every possible way to make the world a better place for them to live.

- XXX.

Reading magazines is my habit. But this article has become even more meaningful after I experienced it. Let us delve into my story.

The wait was almost over!

The D-day was nearing!

Being a happy couple for 4 years, we wanted to add more meaning to our lives! We were enthusiastic and ready to welcome our bundle of joy. Yes! I was 7 months pregnant. Everyone (including me) called my child a 'precious' baby (The reason might be because it was our first child after 4 years of marriage or because I had an abortion earlier or whatever). My husband was on cloud nine as he couldn’t wait to meet his blood. As a mom to be, countless thoughts were running in my mind - excitement, pampering, zeal, anxiety and of course: the pain I will be put through for that one beautiful gift from God - My due date!

Fast forwarding 2 months:

During my pregnancy, I've never been this regular all my life. Be it healthy eating, daily walking, prenatal and breathing exercises, you name it and I was doing all that with utmost dedication and diligence. All this for what? A normal delivery. I stand tall at 5'6" and since my Mom had a normal delivery, my well-wishers advised me to take rest rather than getting tired by doing these exercises because according to them, delivery followed the pattern of hereditary. But I was stubborn to do everything viable to ensure my baby's health.

By now, I am prepared mentally and physically to have an excruciating delivery. Beginning my motherhood was the only thing that I am looking ahead! During the penultimate week of my check up, everything looked fine. I've heard the phrase 'Expect the unexpected'. But I have never experienced it until now. After my last check-up (3 days prior to my due date), the doctor told me, "The baby's head is not yet engaged. We shall wait for few more days for the labour. If not, we will immediately go for a C-Section. Just be patient and trust God".

Every single day of wait post-due was so vexing. The trauma I faced for the next 5 days was disgusting. I felt as though pushing every second then on was like a year to me! My family was in aghast. Million phone calls asking if it was a boy or girl were a great testimony to my patience. Needless to say about people explaining to me about the complications a baby post due will face during childbirth. Every day delayed, both of our lives were at stake. I have to mention here, that my doctor dealt with us with utmost patience and scheduled a check-up every day as my case has begun to become critical.

Each second when I couldn't feel my baby, my heart skipped a beat. Only a sign of movement from my baby appeased me. Our entire family was sleep deprived. After all nothing more than that we were able to do!

Even an atheist would start to believe in God in such a situation.

Girl or Boy?

Fair or Dark?

Thin or Chubby?

Resembles you or your hubby?

A million more questions like this around as well as inside me! I realized that a million thoughts were dwindled down to just one!

All I wanted was a HEALTHY baby! Period.

Fast forwarding 5 more days:

Nothing really changed.

Given a choice, anyone would opt for a normal delivery.

But the question was: Is that a choice!?

What am I expected to do? Think about my health or my baby's?

Is my baby's life at risk?

When the word 'Mother' itself is attributed to selflessness, the decision was evident.We decided to end the wait with a full stop.

And so, I was asked to get admitted the next day after the check-up.

Again, I had 24 hours to prepare myself. I was ready for the operation to become a mom.

So here I am, today, blessed with a 'HEALTHY' baby (boy). The moment he was born, our lives changed into bliss. We became a perfect exemplar of Euphoria. Those moments were invaluable.

The actual story begins here. It might look like a happy ending. But I attracted a lot of sympathy, because I had a C-Sec. And even some visitors commented that I was lucky to have a painless childbirth. Some were talking about the post effects they were suffering till date because of C-Sec. I felt as though people who had a normal delivery looked down upon me. Though I was too happy to take anything to heart, a question was budding in my mind.

Am I not a proper mother because of 'C-Section'?

Yes, I am sad because I have not experienced the excruciating labour pain. But haven’t the doctors cut open my stomach for me to become one? Haven’t my baby stayed in my womb for 9 solid months like other moms? I did suffer from post surgery effects. I stayed at the hospital for 2 more days.

But wait! How does it really matter?

Anyday the world would vouch for a normal delivery. But trust me, C-Sec is not that bad as it sounds! Being a mother who had complications during childbirth, I am thankful for the invention of Caesarean. According to me, suffering from backache only because of C-Sec is a myth. What ever people say, I am still a mom blessed with a beautiful soul which is now the centre of my universe! And now I am back to my normal life. Hitting the gym! And what not?

At the end of the day, the feeling of a proud mom (unmindful of the pain we underwent) is priceless :)

Dedicated to every proud mom and mom to be!

About the Author:

The author, Srinithaa Ravi, is currently working in Tata Consultancy Services as an Assistant Systems Engineer. She is an avid reader and loves writing about what makes her contemplate perspectives to drive home a message.