Me, Memories And Amma

The wind must've gotten the best of me, for why I suddenly got up. My body was shivering, and hands were all cold and sweaty. *THUD* Another gush of cold wind caused the last pane of window to hit against the frame of curtain rod. The surrounding felt familiar, almost too familiar. 'What is this place?', ' Do I come here often?', 'Do I know where I am?' . The train of thoughts rushed through my already throbbing head. I could barely remember anything. Just once, If someone could tell me who and where I was, maybe if only I were able to remember anything about myself but NOTHING, all my efforts of recollecting back any memories just caused more pain. Grabbing my hairs in a tight fist I shuffled my feet on the bed, under the neat blanket that was placed upon me up till my waist. 

"MEERA!", the door flung open and in came a woman, panting and sweating. She rushed to my bed and started to rub my palms and soles of my feet. I took a minute to notice her features. She had black hairs , well almost black, there were white strands here and there, but it was barely noticeable from afar. Her face was a little chubby, small button nose and thin dark lips. Her clothes were all damp from the sweat by now. "Meera, are you fine now, tell me where it hurts......or, are you cold, oh my Rama, I should've locked the windows properly", She hurriedly ran across the room to close the windows and returned to look at me with her eyebrows knitted in worry. " Who are you", my head tilted to the side. Whoever she was, I knew she was someone close to me, her presence was calming and upon her sight my body had begun to feel happy and warm. The lady brushed the strands of hair my hairs and tucked them behind my ears. It might be exaggerating to say, but when I tell you melted upon her touch, I mean it. "I am your amma", she spoke softly as her eyes glistened with the fluid of sadness. "Amma?" I looked at her, almost for assurance and she bobbed her head.

" And you are my precious Meera" 

" I am....Meera?"

" Yes! now tell me Meera, do you feel hurt, is it paining anywhere"

"N-no, or maybe a little here", I pointed to my head and 'my amma' chuckled. Contagious enough to make me smile back as well. My brain battled if i should believe her but my heart was so sure that I had to obey. Afterall, in this situation who else was around me. I was lost in my thoughts until I felt a cold sensation on my forehead. 

"This will help, Meera beta, it feels better doesn't it?"

I nodded in approval, but the inside of my head had its own debate going on, 'Should I ask her?' , ' No No or should I?'

" Don't worry too much, let out all the stress you have. I'll solve it" Amma spoke. My eyes squinted in surprise, ' Can she read minds?', Nevertheless I took the opportunity. 

"Who am I?, How do you know me? Why can't I remember anything? What is this place? Why are you taking care of me? and.............What is an 'amma'?"

A small giggle escaped her lips and she intently looked at me, taking my hands in hers. " You are my daughter, the most important person in my life and my precious little Meera". I frowned at her calling me 'Little' . "My big and strong Meera", she corrected and soon my expressions eased. "And I am your Amma, your mother, I have held you since you were very small and I love you very much", she continued. " But why don't I remember anything then, about you and even about myself!", My heartbeat took a rise and my breath fastened. Amma sensed my discomfort and brought a cup of water to my mouth while slowly rubbing my back. "It's ok , calm down" She placed the empty cup back. " When you were 11, your father passed away, I don't know if you can remember him, but he was the only person who loved you more than amma" . I looked over a photo frame that amma was pointing to. There was a Man, he had thick mustache and a happy grin. His eyes formed a crescent moon and holding onto him was a little girl in pink fairy outfit. She was pulling onto his hairs but instead of pain, the man was happily smiling. ' Was he my Appa?', another wave of familiarity washed my heart, and my lips uncontrollably formed a smile. " You underwent a huge trauma due to his loss and slowly started to lose your memories. I consulted every psychiatrist, but it was too late, they said nothing could be done and Every time you wake up your mind will be a blank canvas which I must fill with memories". Hot stream of tears flowed down my face; I've never felt so miserable. Amma grabbed the end of her fabric and wiped off the tears. 

" Aren't you tired of taking care of me, everyday dealing with my amnesiac self and telling me who I am, don't you feel hurt replaying the memories, don't you get angry with me for being so useless and causing so much trouble to you-" I was cut off as two pairs of arms pulled me in a hug. Amma shushed me and pulled away to make me look at her again. The corner of her eyes holding back her tears and her lips curved in the most beautiful smile. "You can never be a trouble to me Meera, and if it's for you, I can do anything. You are the reason behind my strength and about reminding you about yourself every day, I think I am more than happy because I get to hug my daughter then and talk about all happy memories again and again, who else could ever be so lucky!" Amma finished. 

I must have been god's favorite for why he gave me a mother like her. I spent the rest of the day in her embrace as she walked me back in time. We chatted, watched a movie together and even cooked dinner. A day that I want to never forget. As I laid on the bed next to amma, I held her hands tightly. "Amma", I turned to face her as she hummed in response. "When I wake up tomorrow, will I forget it all again?", Amma wiped off the lone tear from my face and cupped it gently. " Your brain might forget but your heart will never, Let's make more new memories tomorrow and forever". I felt at ease knowing that when I wake up tomorrow, it might not have any memories of past and myself, but I'll have my Amma by my side and that's for sure!