Is It Love?

In the era of selfish humans, I never thought of meeting so many selfish people. 

Heya, it's Shabnam, a 28 year old lady with high ambitions. I met Abhinash, my first and last love, in the College time. He was cute, sweet and kind hearted. We met in our first year but interacted for the very first time in last year, that too due to our project work. Abhinash was a very introvert and never ever talked to anyone. And was just busy in his studies always. Due to the project, we interacted and became good friends. At the farewell, he proposed me and I was ready to be with him so I agreed to the proposal. We came into a relationship and everything was going good. We got our jobs in different cities so it was mandatory to live away from each other. So now we were in long distance relationship. Whenever we got time, we used to call and once a year we used to meet up. Everything was going smoothly and then I got my job in the same city where Abhinash was working. I was so excited to move in with him and start a new phase of my life. Until this , I was madly attached and in love with him. 

So the day came, we started living together. We used to eat together, wake up together, sleep together, share beautiful moments together. But after some months, the spark wasn't that much than it used to be. He started getting bored of me, I was noticing. He used to come late home, not eat the dinner together, talk rudely sometimes, not going out with me on weekends and many more changes. And whenever he was frustrated, he used to come and just suddenly drag me to the room and indulge into physical. It seemed I was just a way to get rid of his frustration and stress. He stopped sharing his worries and ignored my talks too. 

I somehow avoided and made myself calm and love him unconditionally. I thought he was just going through stress and all, only that's the reason. One day he came home and started beating me up with his belt and slapped me many times. I screamed, cried and begged against him to stop this and leave me, but he didn't do that. After this he asked me that why I have uploaded a picture with my male friend on social website. I was clearly astonished to listen that he did it all just out of jealousy or possessiveness?

Before I could explain, he banged the door and went into another room. I was helpless, broken, I was beaten up brutally and was bleeding. Somehow I got up and did the dressing. I cried for whole night that day in my bathroom. Next day, I saw, he was normal and did his stuffs and went to job. For the next few days, he didn't talk to me. I begged him, I apologised, but he just ignored like hell. I was being ignored by him for five days and it was too much depressing. After some days he got normal and forgave me. Everything was fine now. He too apologised and loved me a lot. We were happy together now. 

But again after a month, he came home and beat me for wearing short dresses to my office. 

This was strange. This continued for years. He used to come home and beat me up. And then become normal like nothing happened. And then love me a lot. I was frightened. I was living in continuous fear. I was helpless. But I couldn't leave him in any way. Because I loved him a lot. I loved him from my soul and couldn't live without him. 

I talked to his family doctor about this and she told me that he has been an introvert guy. His parents fight a lot and due to that he suffers from mental stress. Whenever he used to be stressed, he would get out his frustration on me, because he was close to me and loved me. After he loses his temper, he does this. 

Doctor advised me to complaint, but I didn't. I love him and want to change him. And wanna live him even he beats me up. 

I will change him slowly slowly and will make him a good person.

Every one says I m mad in love.......

I think it's love. Sometimes I am also confused. Will I be able to do?

Is it really love?