Her Mind

Anne was perfectly aware of the fact that she was normal, yet very different in a very different way, just like everybody else. Anne was thirteen and studied in the eighth grade. She was a straight-A student, had good friends, a beautiful place to call home, and looked perfectly normal as well. She was tall, had brown hair with occasional strands of copper-red. Anne was blessed with large brown eyes, which grew lighter as each day passed by. Her features commanded beauty, further accentuated by her strong jaw and thick eyebrows. The characteristic which made her different, however, lay in her thought processes. The difference lies in her brain.

Anne had absolutely no mental disabilities, although she was thought to have Asperger’s Syndrome during the earlier stages of her life. The brain structure or neuron positions in the brain with this form of autism is different from that of a normal mind. A brain with this debility consists of the cell bodies of the neurons being very close together, as the dendrites are very short. This can cause the information to be transferred quickly and efficiently, but not always processed in the same way normal minds process the same information. This normally results in difficulties concerning areas such as socialization. Victims of autism find socialization a challenge, as they are incapable of allowing others to understand them, and they also find it difficult to understand other people. Anne also experienced such socialization issues during her initial years of schooling, but during the years immediately following, was capable of befriending many of her classmates. As a matter of fact, it was not that Anne was incapable of allowing people to understand her… she understood everyone perfectly. The problem was that she had a different opinion about most things, but was too young to know how to express them.

This is the reason she is different; her unusual perspectives about daily events, dominant statements, and just about any matter she could ponder upon. For example, Anne stands against William Shakespeare’s famous quote ‘the eye is the window to the soul’. She has two opinions to pose against this statement. The first is that it is not possible to view one’s character by looking into their eyes. That is simply judgmental and wholly impractical. The only manner in which we can determine if a person is bad or good, is if we actually experience or see their actions, or converse with them. But then again, a person’s behavior is dependent upon our emotions, mood, placement, society, environment, people, and other such physical or abstract entities. Therefore, to comprehend itself is unreasonable, as not everyone is transparent and predictable.

Anne’s second view on ‘the eye is the window to the soul’, is the lack of evidence to comprehend another’s feelings. Let us take anger as an example. Biologically, a person’s pupils dilate when they are angry, thus darkening the eyes. However, the pupils dilate when they see a person or thing, they are fond of as well, so how can you tell if a person is angry, or simply looking at something they are emotionally attached to? The is present not in their eyes, but the facial expressions and body language. One can tell if a person is angry if they use strong language, their eyebrows are sloped, their mouth is twisted into a frown, they exhale loudly through their or if they are wringing their fingers. When a person sees something they like, their body will be relaxed and they will have a happy expression written across their face. Basically, you jump to conclusions when you consider ‘the eye to be the window to the soul’, in seeing one’s emotions and character. This example is a showcase of Anne’s practicality and maturity. Practicality because Anne deems literary quotes to be given very little thought before penned down for successors to read for generations to come, and Anne is mature, as she believes that you should definitely think before you do something, as it might go down in history without your knowledge.

Anne’s practicality and maturity always kept her a step away from the thoughts and ideas of her peers. These qualities gave her mentors and teachers the idea of her being smarter than her classmates, which was not the case. Anne was gifted with sharp intelligence from an early age, enough to do well in her classes and to participate, but never enough, she thought, to be recognized. Besides, she was always keen on being practical and realistic during classes and discussions, as she was aware of the harsh truth reality, and wanted it to be known. This practice, however, never stopped her from dreaming, or being imaginative. As previously mentioned, she maintained her ‘realistic’ and ‘mature’ reputation… but she just chose to keep her thoughts and dreams as a secret.

This choice of hers has pros and cons, just like every other choice in life. But recently, the latter has appeared to outnumber the former. Her furtive nature had reached the extent where she refused to trust her closest friends and family. This had caused emotional issues, and she couldn’t control them. Even the tiniest of matters would lead to aggravation. To not make her friends and family be hurt, or feel bad, she would rush to any nearby room, and have her fits, or simply cry, in solitude. It was as if all of her emotions were being stacked u[p inside her, but she just couldn’t get it out without hurting anybody. The build-up of emotional energy inside her would not subside but came out in anger, or she would experience emotional breakdowns… all whenever it was inappropriate. Sometimes it gave her the energy needed to perform a specific activity but otherwise would just end in disaster. Eventually, she took her refuge in music. It never lessened the storm within her, but always made her feel at peace; calm and collected.

Anne has recently learned to open up to a few people, but for her to completely recover, time is needed. This just goes to show that we all have defeats; we all have triumphs. But we need to focus on maintaining a balance between them. Anne was able to make use of some of her differences, but she was just drowned in others. It is up to us to maintain a balance between our weaknesses and strengths, for strengths do help us, but weaknesses let us know what we stand to gain. We all have differences: weaknesses and strengths, which set us apart from the ‘normal’ crowd. Yet the only reason we are normal is that everybody is different. That is why Anne is normal.