Faith in Failure

Every summer, my parents would get ready to take us to visit our grandparents and spend the next 45 days with our maternal and paternal cousins. What fun you must be thinking but this trip meant that around 20-22 of us were going to live together in a large house with no dearth of space as such but which had one washroom and one bathroom. Mornings used to start with people tricking each other into getting an early spot to visit the washroom and having some peaceful time without people yelling from outside to finish early.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner were all pretty much rationed versions of meals because how much every is cooked it always seemed so less and none of us had any experience with understanding the term "unlimited soups and salads" like in "Olive Garden". Resources were meant to be in a limited quantity, work meant to be distributed and privileges were meant to be shared. We did not realise as children why we were packed into this kind of holiday system when each of us could enjoy unlimited versions of life in our limited spaces at home.

But as we grew up building strong bonds with each other, we realised what we had gotten from those summer vacations. And the reason for what we gained out of these interactions were not the success stories that I have seen in my family but the number of failures that I have witnessed. Challenge I feel has been a teacher for all of us and collaboration has been our biggest aide to overcome it. 

Sharing Failures: All the adults in the family practised a common rule of sharing their failures with us and hence none of us ever felt embarrassed about anything that went wrong in our lives. Financial crisis, relationship issues, learning difficulties, lack of aspiration etc were not something we saw in movies alone but could see happening to people who were very close to us.

Standing Together: While on one end we saw failures, on the other hand we witnessed the faith in being able to overcome it and by sharing their concern, they would gather help and support from the rest of us and each one felt encouraged to ask for help.

Celebrating the moments: Celebration to us did not mean we had to get a national rank or be a recognised sports-person or a well-known artist. A nice painting, a good poem, a melodious song, a new recipe and a silly joke, all of these were celebrated and acknowledged and people were made to feel special in their own way

Diversity Appreciated: Each one of us had a different aspiration, a different sense of achievement and a different choice for what we wishes to do in life and no one judged anything as big or small and this kind of inclusion made the diverse perspectives interesting and exciting.

Success was not measurable: Our success was not measured by our salaries or awards or grades or career milestones. Our success was measured by how genuine we were in our intention to help each other, respect everyone in the family and be there when needed.

Today when I think of my growth as a person, I cannot forget to acknowledge the role of my family in being the reason for so many smiles that I gathered in my childhood years and these smiles have given me the faith in failure to teach me to become even better.