A Stormy Night

  Staring at the sextant that she gifted me, my mind was racing starting to figure out her position in my life. The only thing that was holding my overthinking to run amok was a silly pun on the word "sextant" that made me chuckle. Laying still on my bed, staring into the blank canvas of a wall before me, while chuckling unusually, I was sure that if she saw me in this state she'd exclaim in disdain, "See, I told you so! You have become a madman." I even found humour at the expense of God's doings just to keep me distracted; that gloomy humid night with a hint of drizzle was nothing compared to the gloom I felt within and the inevitable droplets of water falling down the cheeks. Not crying was not an option anymore, afterall that was the only way I could feel that I had feelings still.

  All this just to get out of my comfort zone, the day we met was as uneventful as I day I lost her. I felt like I just rode a rollercoaster, the journey being as lively and dramatic as an Ekta Kapoor soap opera, but once it ended it was the same old life again waiting at the exit. She was one of the many aspiring artist interviewing in the college's art club. Conducting her interview was also the same old drag fest, nothing out of the ordinary. The distinguishing moment of epiphany for me was when she argued with me overnight on text about a silly sly comment of mine about van Gogh's masterpiece in our chat group. I wasn't even serious until she made me, replying to my comment in private and figuratively making me raise the white flag and ultimately deleting the comment. From that moment on, my life had taken a sudden boost of ecstasy owing to her spontaneous texts and her lively rants.

I didn't mind them, I was more in awe about how an acquaintance skipped so many intermediate to being my 'gossip mate'. I was never the chatty kind but she was like an unstoppable force shattering even my fourth wall of defence. Never had I thought I would unveil my vulnerable side to anyone, not that anyone cares, however her nonchalance had an aura of security and comfort that dragged all the inner secrets and stupid memories spill out. The days we spent together and the night that we woken together were nothing unique, but were surely special. She didn't make my heart skip a beat but she made me feel each and every single one of those heartbeats, my heart beat for her. 

  And now after she left, all I could think was about how empty my life was. This was the same life I had always wanted, pursuing my passion at one of the best art schools in my vicinity. It all seemed like a fairytale story for me, until my Cinderalla came into it and left it, filling my heart with angst. My mind was no more the ruler of my will, the heart had woken from her deep sleep making me realise of the incoming storm within, created by the void left after the outer storm had left.