A Piece Of The Heart

Ella sits on her bed, a six-year-old, unaware of what has happened or what is going to happen, all she can feel is the absence of the faces that are almost always hovering over her, she can't see them, nor can she hear them bickering about what to order for dinner. Ella was never a normal kid she always had a spark that no one else seemed to have. It's somewhere after midnight the house is in a mess people are all around. Ella can see police officers, she had been taught in school that they come in cases of emergency, but where is the emergency here? Everyone seems to have forgotten about Ella, she stands in the middle of a huge room all the eyes pass across her as if she is not there, but she herself doesn't seem to mind, she hates being center of attention.

She still can't see the faces that she is longing to see- her mother's pale grey one with the crinkles every time she smiles, the frown on her forehead every time she is upset, the slim pale hands that stroke her to sleep, she closes her eyes she sees her father with the dashing smile and the brown eyes as deep as the wood of a tree, the slight cleft in his chin which she enjoys poking every now and then her heart feels as if it is missing a piece for she can't see either of them, they had gone for a party together and she was left home alone with her grandmother, she did not mind it, she loved her Nani, her favorite for she would have no limits, when mom and dad went out they would order their favorite foods and play ludo, her grandmother would even let her go to sleep half an hour after her original bedtime.

Her mother was American and she looked very much like her own mother- Ella's Nani. Her father was Indian they met when he went to study abroad and fell in love with all these stories she would come to know from her grandma, you can wonder why she loves spending time with her.The huge lavish room is now smelling of fear to Ella, she realizes that the smell of fear might be coming from her.The times when her parents when out, she would call them to say goodnight when it was time to sleep then both her parents would sing her her favorite lullaby one that always put her to sleep, somehow the sound of both their voices, so different-one hoarse and one soft-felt so very comforting, this time when she called, her mother had not picked up no matter how many times Ella had called, she saw panic on her nani's face- normally so composed- she had known then something was wrong and that hollow feeling in her gut was there ever since. Just then two huge beds come into the room, they stopped to a halt right under the massive chandelier at the center of the living room, somebody is lying on them Ella can't see the people occupying it, her grandmother is the first one to see, the minute she does her face twists into a contorted shape and tears fall down her eyes like rain- rapidly- seeing her nani cry something uncomfortable washes over her she feels tears sting the back of her eyes too, her grandmother runs over to one of the beds and throws herself over the body, Ella wonders how the person hasn't been woken up yet, he or she must be in very deep sleep indeed.

She looks around to the others in the room they all are just simply staring at her grandmother pity in their eyes, none of them moving over to help or console, she feels rage come up in her, and irritation too- all the people in her house for what reason? God knows, but they are not even of any help. She is now trying to get through the crowd- the big mass of people-, she feels her aunt Matilda try to hold her back, but with one calm gaze toward her aunt she manages to get free, in her haste she keeps tripping over the lush carpets and knocking show pieces over, in the big silent room it is only her movement that can be heard. Ella feels self-conscious and almost stops, but remembering her grandma's face she keeps on moving. Hands come up to try to steady her and she pushed them away stubbornly if these people won't help her nani then she does not want help from them either.

Finally, after what seems like years she is through, she runs over to her nani and pulls her by the hand. It is then that she speaks her first words in a while," Nani what's wrong are you hurt?" she doesn't reply and sinks into the armchair, that is when Ella sees them - her mother and her father looking as pale as ever, a white cloth till their neck, her mother has wounds all over her face, scratches here and there, the white cloth has blood on it right where in mothers stomach lays, her father has a huge gash on his forehead and the blood has dried there on his head making it look like red mixing with black. Now, that Ella knows the cause of everyone's panic, she feels as if she is in a dream, she pinches herself hard and feels blood drip down, she is too saddened to care.

No tears come, her insides feel like water and all she wants to do is lie down and never wake up for she cannot imagine her life without either of them forget both, she just stands there simply, a six-year-old staring at the dead body of her parents with a blank expression as if everything in the world has disappeared and only she and her dead parents exist. She tries to scream and shout and cry but her throat feels parched and dry, she remembers all of her memories with them. Her father picking her up and swinging her on top of his shoulders, her mother always cooking for her favorite meals, both of them dropping her to school on the first day of preschool tears in her fathers eyes, tears that she will never get to see again, the smile of her mother that she will never get to see again. All the happy memories are all she has, for she can never have more. Her mother once told her that there is a God above who sees everything and who is responsible for life, she thinks if this is what God does, then she does not like him at all. After what seems like ages of having these horrendous thoughts, she finally feels her legs move, she goes over to her mum and holds her hand, it is ice cold and it feels almost alien to her, she climbs over carefully and adjusts herself into her mother's death bed.

She holds her mother tight until she can't feel her own hands, hoping that somehow the life from her will give back the life to her mother, she finally finds her voice she screams as loud as she can, strangely, she can't hear herself but she knows the voice is coming from the expressions of the others, she tries to say all that she is feeling and takes out all her sadness and anger, she tries to say that she loves them and that she is going to miss them. She screams until she is out of breath, her nani gently lifts her off the bed her hands are still knotted in the cloth it is entangled by one of the officers, Ella scowls at him and he shrinks back inwardly, her grandma settles herself into an armchair and sits Ella on top of her, they both are shivering uncontrollably, she puts her long bony yet comforting arms around Ella and rocks her as if trying to put her to sleep, but even her nani's embrace cannot calm her, this is when the tears start spilling, on and on they come without stopping.

She sobs into her grandmother's dress and her grandmother into hers, no idea to who is soothing whom. At what time Ella doesn't know she eventually goes to sleep and she is almost happy for she is too scared to be left alone with her own thoughts. Ella grows up to be a strong and independent-minded woman with a great life, the ghost of her parents past still haunts her every time she goes to bed, but she handles it bravely like she always has, she has only one thing in her mind, what really happened to her parents? She just can't seem to grasp the fact that something as simple and ordinary as a car crash could have killed the people who meant the world to her. Was it only an accident or was there something more to it too?. Who knows? Do we?