You Are My Grey

Today she said to look at the sky

A striking blue of the opal stone

And write,

Write

And I haven't written in a quite a while

Because they all come full circle to you 

And it is hollow,

I am hollow

After you veered off to a tangent 

Far off.

So when I looked at the sky today

The striking blue of opal stone 

I could not find the meaning

For I could not find you.

I could only imagine the ones

Signed off to the blue pools around the black

And once about the frozen blue ice

Of menace

But I could not find you.

So I knew then

How much of you I have lost.

The sky was clear blue 

And you never were.

Walking home, a winter stretching too long and too thin

The wind was rubbing my face numb

My fingers frozen,

I walked half of my way 

My head down

My eyes on the fresh puddles of the night before.

I could feel the brown eyes of menace on me

So I walked, my head down

My arms crossed over my breasts

Until I reached the crowd of trees

Cold and abandoned

The eyes here were gone.

So once again 

I looked at the sky

They spoke

The blue spilled into white

The white seeping into grey

The cotton clouds clotting into 

Black dark blood 

And the striking blue dying in front of my eyes

Everything was grey

Even the rain.

And then in them

I saw you.

In grey I saw you.

You never were the striking blue

Never were a loud man

You never made me self conscious under the spotlight of the sun,

You were my comforting grey.

The one where the sky came pouring down on me

Enveloping me

In a blanket heavy 

A blanket wildly warm

Sensually cold,

You were the grey of the smile

In my perpetual sadness of childhood

You were the grey hope

In my permanent tragedies.

You were not blue

Because I never did belong with colours

You were the grey

A millionth shade lighter to my black,

You were the defusing grey

To my bloody thoughts

Of giving up.

You were the grey

Of happiness

Because truth be told

We both knew 

That yellow, blue and red 

Were striking colours of passing passions

That never did last long.

But grey stays

Like the stain you are now

In my heart.

In my heart.

No matter what, remember

No matter what.