Deteriorated

I have tried meditation,

But there is no attenuation to my negativity,

Sometimes I do wonder,

Is it my brain,

Or someone else's,

Like BlackBox memory,

It must have exchanged,

It never accepts my requests,

It suggests selfishness,

But I have to think positive,

Kindness is not visiting me nowadays,

With the Jealousy injected,

I deteriorate,

Like fossil fuel,

I kept it in the museum.