Wedding Woes

These past few days, Ganpatrao was a disturbed man. His eldest daughter, Chhaya’s wedding was just a few weeks round the corner. With preparations going on in full swing, he had hundreds of things to worry about. The clock was ticking at a fast pace. In a few days, his daughter’s middle name was going to be replaced with his son-in-law’s name. Perhaps that wasn’t the only thing that was about to change. It hurt him to even think about not seeing his little Chhaya every day. He would meet her occasionally or only when time and circumstances would allow her to. Currently, Ganpatrao’s feelings towards his daughter were the least of his concerns amongst many.

Being the father of the bride, he had to ensure that everything turned out perfect on the D-day. The fact that he was a middle class salaried man and Chhaya’s future in-laws’ belonged to an affluent business family made matters even worse.

Naveen and Chhaya had fallen in love at college. There had never been any opposition from both sides towards their union. Naveen and his family were educated, broad minded people who were against dowry and Ganpatrao couldn’t thank them enough for the same. If only they could think likewise for the expenditure they incurred to fulfil their dreams of a perfect wedding for their only son. Starting from wedding planners to the wedding venue to the caterers to the fashion designers, everything they touched turned into gold. They were spending far more than he couldn’t have imagined even in his wildest dreams. And so was he.

An ordinary middle class man shelling out more than half of his savings for a wedding was something Ganpatrao couldn’t come to terms with. Just two years left for his retirement, he had two younger daughters more to get married. After seeing Chhaya’s extravagant wedding ceremony, her sisters’ expectations would also rise. He feared not being able to live up to the expectations of his three daughters. He had always wanted the best for them. But he had no idea how far he could go by the way he was spending.

Ganpatrao preferred a simple wedding, with close family and friends in attendance. He and his wife had argued over the same for months. She had never allowed him to speak to Naveen’s parents considering it to be an embarrassment for their family, especially for Chhaya in the future. According to society, the bride’s side always has to bow down to the demands of the groom’s side and they were no exception. They would have to adjust against their own wishes and limitations, whether they liked it or not.

Despite his wife’s false assurances, Ganpatrao wasn’t convinced a bit. He felt some of the arrangements were nothing but sheer waste of money. Like smoke bombs on the entry of the bride and the groom, a flower path specially decorated for the same; a 9 feet tall floral peacock made entirely of white and purple orchids, a floral mandap, a total of 40 dishes for the guests excluding desserts, a photo booth and so on. The money he had spent for the clothes and jewellery of his family for one occasion could have purchased him clothes for 3 generations. Somehow, he felt that they could have managed a decent wedding without this extraordinary show of wealth. He didn’t have much to show off though, unlike his new relatives. Yet, he was squandering money as if he had just won a lottery.

When it became too much for him to handle, Ganpatrao finally spoke his mind one day even though his wife tried her best to shut him up again. Naveen’s parents felt offended at first, but got the message eventually. If only he had opened his mouth much sooner, perhaps there could have been some major subtractions.

There were a few last minute changes though. A few dishes on the menu were reduced. The gift envelopes given by the guests were contributed to charity. Though Ganpatrao didn’t gain anything out of all of this, he was happy to donate his little bit towards society. He had learned his lesson the hard way, making sure that he doesn’t repeat the same mistake again.

How far are our expenses for a wedding justified? You would say, it’s a matter of personal choice. On seeing the big fat Indian weddings of our friends, relatives and our favourite celebrities, we too start having similar aspirations. Some of us are willing to go to any heights to achieve it. Even if it manages to burn a hole in our pockets. Shouldn’t your wedding be more about sharing beautiful moments and creating wonderful memories with your partner as you become one for life? The decor, the food, the clothes, the jewellery; rest all of it is immaterial. Nowadays, at weddings, people talk about everything else except the bride and the groom. No one talks about how happy they look together.

In a country like India, where some people don’t get sufficient food to fill their stomachs; some of us waste it just because we have all the money in the world. We have lavish weddings and wear extraordinary outfits. To please ourselves and the society who couldn’t care any less. A major section of the population could live their entire lives peacefully with all that money spent for a single wedding. There may be lakhs and lakhs of Ganpatraos’ in every nook and corner, struggling to fulfil their children’s dream of a perfect wedding out of family and societal pressure. Let’s take a minute to think about it. Is it actually worth it?