The Fear of Failure

My school paid a lot of attention to sports. It was generally believed that sports help in development of character and team spirit. The proof of focus on sports was evident in the facilities made available to students. We had two huge play grounds, a basketball court, an indoor badminton court, and two table tennis tables at the school.

In addition to this, there were regular tournaments for various games and sports. There used to be inter class cricket tournament, and events for football and other sports. Our school team even made an annual visit to other cities to play against schools there. But, the grandest of all was the annual sports day. The students were divided on the basis of houses, each represented by a colour. So, we had Blue/ Gold/ Green/ Red House. Each house had students from across classes, junior to senior. The sports day used to have events such as races, jumps and throws across different age groups.

It used to be a prestigious event and hundreds of parents used to attend to watch the students compete. The process of selections for the main sports day used to begin at least a month in advance. Qualifying events, or prelims as we used to call them, were held every day to select the best athletes from amongst the numerous candidates who participated.

There used to be heavy participation in the qualifying rounds, with almost entire classes coming out to compete and get selected in the final ten candidates who would participate in the main event to be held on the annual sports day. While a good response was healthy, it created the problem of plenty. It was a nightmare to have scores of students trying their luck at 1000 metres or long jump or high jump, and select only ten of those. In fact, in long distance races, most of the participants used to drop out after a fraction of the race.

  

The easiest way was to let everyone participate and then stop the race the moment the top two or three candidates from each of the qualifiers finished. However, this method was of little help in events such as long jump or hammer throw, where each candidate has to perform independently, as against races where multiple candidates would run simultaneously.

The incident I am about to narrate must be from the time when I was in the seventh grade. We had just entered the category where we would be allowed to participate in various jumps and throws. There was a lot of excitement in the class with regard to the long jump event which everyone thought was a simple affair, and a little less in the high jump which seemed more difficult. Similarly, many of us were very hopeful in the shot-put event where we were supposed to throw a heavy metal ball as far as possible.

A lot of students were already practising for the events. As I mentioned, long jump had the highest participation. Hundreds of students lined up to participate in the qualifier. There was a physical education teacher by the name of Carl, who was unanimously unpopular among the students. He was the coordinator for the sports day. There was one junior teacher standing at the starting line for the run up to the jumping line for long jump, and then there was a sand pit into which or over which you are supposed to fly, and then there was Carl standing at the other end of the sand pit.

He kept observing quietly for some time. I agree that the quality of jumps was not great. Most of us landed at very short distances from the qualifying line, maybe two to three feet. A few of us could not bring ourselves to jump and continued with the starting run, which looked extremely funny. A few candidates did land up with good jumps and they were selected as likely candidates for the final sports day event.

It was a sunny afternoon, and soon Carl started to lose his cool. He appeared impatient and irritated at the time and effort wasted. I think he was more worried looking at the large number of candidates still waiting to jump. Then he started scolding the ones who were not able to make a decent jump, but still the queue did not shorten. Candidates kept waiting for their turn in this seemingly simple event.

That is when he hit upon a brilliant idea. He asked one of us to get a nice, fresh, supple stick from one of the trees. Not one but many sticks materialised. The next boy who failed to make the cut was met by Carl at the sand pit itself. As the boy stood up, dusting away the sand from the bottoms of his pants, “woosh-woosh”, the stick made a fascinating sound as it landed on the legs of the boy. He cried in agony but still could not respond before he had already taken five to six blows. Red lines appeared on his bare legs and tears welled up in his eyes.

Suddenly, there was a murmur in the queue. The remaining candidates were nervous and not sure whether they will be able to meet the quality standards. One after the other, the candidates jumped and got caned and moved away. Not many made a good jump after that. Many of the candidates, waiting for their turn, now left the queue and returned to the class, withdrawing their participation from the event.

All of a sudden, the sandpit acquired a different character, something that you were supposed to cross and then get the punishment. All one could see from this side of the sandpit was Carl and the supple stick in his hand.

It had a waterfall effect on the other events. Participation suddenly went down and queues were shorter. Candidates started dropping out of those events which were new to them. They started opting for races which were more familiar and where the outcome was more predictable. This solved the problem faced by Carl. It also meant that he applied the same principle in races. So, anyone who was participating in a qualifier for a 400-metre race, would meet Carl at the completion of 100 metre, and if the performance in the first 100 metres was not up to the mark, he was given a thrashing and thrown out of the race. This solved the problem of participation in the races too.

Over the years, my school produced many good athletes. I was not particularly good at field events, having finished on the podium only once, in the three-legged race. This is a race where two persons tie up one leg each, and run with one free leg and the other leg tied to that of the other person. Ironically, my friend and I, who won this race, both were poor individual runners. But, together we performed well and outpaced others. We were mediocre, but in perfect sync, in an event where coordination was the key.

Coming back to this story, nowadays I understand that schools encourage participation. There are no winners and losers, only participants. Participation is the theme. Children are rewarded for participating in a particular event. The idea is to take out the doubt and the fear that we may have regarding an unknown event. The thought is that unless you try, you cannot succeed. If you continue to take the tried and tested path, you will finish the same as everyone else. You will not realise what you are good at.

This applies to all areas of life – singing, acting, dancing, cooking, playing a sport and so on. If we continue to make safe choices, we would never explore life in its entirety. I wonder if my school had many more good athletes, ones who did not even try due to the fear of the stick waiting at the end of the sand pit.