My Life...My Own!

Making this choice, I must admit, was not that easy. It requires a lot of courage to take this step knowing fully well that it will not go down well with some people : my family, most especially my parents, and our family priest. But what does it matter? I have taken an irrevocable decision and I am going to stick to it come what may.

The choice altered my beliefs about religion and life generally - dogmatic beliefs that I was indoctrinated to hold as true at an early age.

From infancy, I was taught to see myself as a miserable and worthless sinner; not to have an inordinate desire for money; to be satisfied in being a follower rather than a leader for 'uneasy lies the head that wears the crown'; not to dream big because it denotes greediness; to believe that an old woman somewhere is jealous of me and won't hesitate to kill me at any slightest provocation and that it is better to die a poor man and enjoy eternity in heaven than to live in luxury on earth and spend eternity in hell.

As I lay on the hospital bed, it dawned on me that I have been imprisoned by these beliefs: I have lived a mediocre life all these years. How can a miserable and worthless sinner live a happy life? How can I be at the apex of my career when it was hammered into my ears that I should be content being at the bottom of the organization's hierarchical ladder? Why would I drive exotic cars, live in a mansion and live a luxurious life when I was told that the rich never enter Heaven? Why would I dream of hitting the jackpot when there is an old woman somewhere waiting to kill me as soon as I hit it big?

A tear dropped from my right eye when I realized how stupid and foolish I have been for turning down different offers of promotions which could have made my life better than it is right now.

These beliefs have been what I built my life around since childhood and they have consistently kept me from progressing. As a child, I saw no need to be among the first ten positions at the end of the school term. As an undergraduate, I also saw no need of bagging a first class. I managed to come out with a pass. All my life, until now, I have settled for the 'good', I never realized I could become better and be the best.

More tears dropped and soon I was crying when my mind started playing the videos of all the opportunities I rejected outrightly. Opportunities that would have turned me from a tenant to a landlord, from an assistant head of department to the Managing Director of the company.

'Damn my parents!. Damn the Church!. Damn the society!. Damn the priests!' I exclaimed and groaned in pain when I moved my left leg. "What if I hadn't had this accident? I would still continue to live in bondage of these beliefs and enslaved by dem. I would probably die in penury without enjoying life to the maximum; without being the best I can ever be". I became grateful to God for using the accident to open a new chapter in my life.

Right there, at the hospital, I made a choice that made a whole difference in my life. I chose to stand up to life and look it in the eye - there was no longer a need to live cowardly. I chose to dream and think big, and to be the best me.

I realized that my life is my own and I should not let some nasty beliefs govern it. I took my destiny into my own hands.

I took the road infrequently traveled by and that made all the difference. My life...my own!