Illusion

While walking across the road in a winter morning, a rare thing occurred in the mean time- a butterfly died by an accident. A cycle may have crushed its half of the body. But its trembling wings were creating some illusion as it lived. I could not ignore as the wings were so attractive, beautifully coloured and nostalgic. I felt as if it has waited for me for a long time. But who am I? Were we related each other? I asked myself. Is relation the most important factor to interact with an animal or an insect? Many unsolved questions arose in my mind. I failed to answer. But I could not ignore its vibrating wings.. as I have thousands of attractions in my life. Why I would bind myself with such an insect which has no value for me at all?

People were busy in their lives, passing through that area without reacting for such an useless occurrence. But I could not resist to stop their.. as I felt a strong emotional attachment or a bonding developed with that small insect. So I could not ignore that incident. Eagerly with a disturbed mind I picked it up in my hand and oserved carefully and minutely. Then I was sure that it was dead. But I could not realise why I was so tensed and emotionally attached with her. For her small vibrating wings, or her innocence or humanity of mine? I was anxious to know the cause of her death. Then I looked around.. a beautiful garden was near the road. There were so many butter flies, bees, black wasp around the flowers. What a scenery..! Wow.. so beautiful ! Then I realized that the garden could be responsible for both of her life and death. She might have accepted the silent death. Due to the emense attraction of nature she must have forgotten to be aware of the accident. So she was dead.

The majestic winter morning hypnotized me in a different thought that why was I unhappy? Was the life of a butter fly more precious than a human being? Who was she? Was she related to me in any reason? Still I found a deep gap between me and my thought process for a moment. On a dew covered grass field, and a foggy morning her death could not be a memorable happening, could not be printed in daily news paper. But still her death has been noted down in my heart in block letters that-“Death of a butter fly”.

A shopkeeper called me- Take the tea sir. It will become colder. But I had no response towards him or that cup of tea, which was so important for me while walking in the morning. I saw from both the sides two trucks crossed across the crowded road like the mad elephants. Suddenly I felt a deep pain inside and discovered myself thrown into a paddy field. A very known friend asked- “Why were you so disturbed Narahari Babu? What was wrong with you? If I would not have pushed you to this field, you would have met the accident very closely. I am so sorry for pushing you like this. But for saving your life I had no options.”

By throwing me from the road my friend has given me a new life. I was surprised with those occurances. Yes I was unmindful at that moment. His questions attacked my mind.. What was wrong with you? Yes.. Why I was so disturbed and puzzled? I woke up, thanked to God and my dear friend for a new life. Now I escaped from the accident and at the same time I was brooding over the sad death of the delicate butterfly. But myself and the little butterfly were have different destiny to face. I was relieved from an severe accident or death.. But this news had not affected me at  the then time.

In the mean while there was a gathering nearby. Perhaps something unusual was happening there. I proceeded towards that area. A mad guy was dead and his body was rolling on the road due to dashing with that speedy running truck in that winter morning. People were moving apart throwing some condolences towards the poor guy. Why should people spoil their time for such an person who gave nothing to the society or not related to any body! Yes he was a liability for everybody. So some people became lighter from their responsibility for this sudden death of the mad man and were telling- “now he was relieved from his unwanted life, sorrows, hunger, lonliness.” Yes that were true.. But how we could judge anybody from his outer look or from his birth? I know we have lost the existence of that poor guy and get relaxed..

The winter morning has brought so many occurances, some illusions yet for me. In a puzzled mind I came back to my cold tea although I have no need to take it now. The time was over. Till now the dead butterfly confined in between my fingers.

It seemed for me as if the butterfly was more important than the mad guy. For this reason I was more concerned about the death of that insect. Perhaps I have forgotten that me and that poor guy both were human beings and perhaps both were the creations of the Almighty. But alas, I have no pity on him. I have poor experiences on life at the time! I could not differentiate between the value of an insect and the human being.. The Mad man was suffering from so many diseases, sorrow, hunger. That day he was free trom all the worries and pain. So I felt happy for him.  Then I saw people gathering more and more at that spot. Police had not arrived.

I was thinking that the mad guy was alone like that butterfly.. No one will regret for the death of both of them. No one will need them. I could notice very astonishing similarity between them. But the death is the end of the life and also the end of an era. After that there will be no existence of the particular living being.

The butterfly had attracted me for its beauty and the mad one for his helplessness and sorrow. Both were important in my life at that time. Now the police and the trolly both reached to the spot . I was impatient. Crossing through the gathering I asked to the I.I.C- "Can I cremate this unknown body?" He asked- "Do you have any relation with him?" I told- "Just as a human being..nothing more." He agreed and praised me for my nobility and humanity. But I was indifferent and obsessed with my thought process.

After all the systematic procedures the dead body was offered to me for performing all the death rituals. I felt heart-throbbing pain without any emotional attachment. It seemed that the life is nothing more, only bondings. I felt tears in my eyes wanting to fall down. At the time of cremation of the poor fellow, I discoved the remnant body of the butterfly was sticking in my palm from a long period.. I put down the butterfly to the funeral pyre of the mad one. The fire touched the sky.. it seemed they were free from all the sorrows and mishappenings of this birth.. then I became lighter..

A thought came in my mind, as if the poor one soul was converted to an innocent butter fly?  If yes then definitely they will be walking ahead towards the doors of incarnation…

After that time I became relived from the illusion..