Grandma Tales: Four

Aneesh's Story

My grandma never had a formal education, but I must tell you she is wise. She had the wisdom to notice that children these days do not get any time to learn on their own. At school, education is so very competitive that teachers even use the time allotted to sports and other activities for completing their subjects. Nowadays, schools have seriously started to build their brand names and reputations at the cost of students. More than the children themselves, schools are dead serious about pass percentages, merit rankings and all such stuff. This has resulted in students having to complete loads of homework and studies even at home. Where is the time to play with friends and watch TV!

My parents were called to the school yesterday by the principal and class teacher. They told my parents that their ward, that is me, needed to put in more effort in studies. They pointed out occasions where I had missed submitting my homework. They were confident that with a bit more involvement from my side, I could do wonders in studies. My parents cut me off from whatever little TV I watched, and whatever little play I managed to squeeze out of studies. I did not mind that. What seriously bothered me is that they told Grandma not to waste my time with her stories.

That is when Grandma made that grand speech about how children are being made to suffer these days. She told Mom that she could understand why schools were being so rigorous with children; what she failed to understand is why parents pay heed to nonsensical observations of the school staff about their wards. She gently pointed out that neither my Mom nor my Dad had time to sit with the children and ease their tensions or help them with studies. They had instead outsourced this job to a tutor, a young girl who is herself in college and hardly understands children. My mom did not take this very kindly, but Grandma being so old and blind, my mom did not make an issue out of it. However, she firmly stuck to her decision and so there is now a ban on Grandma and she cannot tell any more stories.

I did not tell you that my Grandma is a wily character. It may not be very obvious to one who looks at her demeanour, wrinkled face, blind eyes, white sparse hair and stooping back. She does not allow anyone to make a fair judgment about her; her first sight would evoke pity in the observer. Only those like me and Pratima who know grandma from close quarters know how wily she is.

For those of you who are following Grandma Tales closely, I must give you one bit of information that I think I did not clarify before. Pratima is my sister and she is elder to me by six years. I am now eight years old and Pratima is almost fifteen now. Grandma says that these are the golden years of discovery for a girl. Well, I was telling you about grandma being a wily character, which very few people know about.

Pratima got into deep trouble once with my parents over her boyfriend Akash. Well, I am not going to tell you all in detail about her boyfriend for Pratima would not like it. The trouble started over Akash’s visit to my house. You may say, what’s so great about a boyfriend visiting a girl friend’s house? To be exact, the visit happened when my parents were not home. There was only Grandma at the time the incident happened. And stupid as she is, Pratima had chosen to invite Akash without grandma’s knowledge or consent. The boy spent a lot of time at my house taking advantage of a blind old lady and absentee family members. It seems a lot of affections got exchanged during the meeting, which is, grandma, says, quite natural under such circumstances. The problem occurred with the arrival of our maid just when the going between the couple got intense. A brief period of confusion prevailed with the boy getting alarmed and running away from the scene. There was a then a confrontation between the maid and the maiden of the house, while grandma was asleep in her room. The maid threatened to blow the lid and tell my parents about the entire episode. At this point, I arrived on the scene to catch Pratima crying over the grave implications of the expose. The maiden was begging the maid to be considerate and let it pass this single time, but the maid was being rather severe with the maiden.

I ran to wake up grandma. Once she was at the scene, I knew things were going to be sorted out. The maid was narrating how she had caught the maiden red-handed. She was clear that the girl needed disciplining by her parents or else she would go out of control and wayward. All the while, grandma was quietly listening, perhaps trying to assimilate the facts of the incident. She then asked the maiden to go in along with me and leave the maid alone with her.

I pushed my sister into her room and returned, taking care not to be seen by either of the two ladies. I was curious to know how grandma was going to handle the maid.

“Look, Lakshmi.” Grandma began. “I know you are a well-meaning lady and very close to this house. You have served your duties diligently for so many years now and rightfully; you are part of the family. You must understand how times change and with it, people. What I used to consider as good or bad in my time is no longer held as good or bad now. Look at you. When I was young, we had maids at our house, at least half a dozen. They were all paid pittance and worked all day long at the house. They did not have duties specified or told to them in advance. They simply had to do what had to be done at the house. Anything and everything. But now times have changed. I gather you charge Rs. 300/- for each task you perform; perfectly fine. You get a bonus, a month’s paid leave, gifts on festivals, etc. I am not even talking about the loans you manage to get out of your employers. And on top of it, you help yourself to the provisions you can manage to lay your hands on from this house. A blind woman like me, an old lady who is good for nothing, cannot see the maid of the house bathing luxuriously with the soaps and shampoos of her master, but can hear things, and smell perfumes and soaps. These days’ maids take advantage of working couples and truant children to wear clothes of their employer. They can afford the luxury of looking at themselves for hours in the big mirrors of the house, quite aware that a blind old lady can hardly watch them. 

Lakshmi, they even use their employers’ comfortable double beds to have a nap or spend quality time with their husbands, of course, once in a while. But let me tell you, you girls are efficient and smart. You do all the work to perfection and never present your employer’s opportunity to complain. And you are loyal and honest. You treat this as your own family and would never ever betray the trust of your employers.

Young girls today, and you have five daughters mind you, are difficult to understand. It is an open society now, not like our days. Relationships between boys and girls are no more viewed as heresy and taboo. Young boys and girls today are much more comfortable handling their affairs in the open view of society. They have no hang-ups as we had those days. That does not mean they are lacking in character. We have to understand the young generation. They want to be understood, not the way we understood society in our times. I know you are intelligent enough to understand what I am saying. Do you want to say something?”

“Dadi” the maid was sounding speechless. “How the hell can you know so many things? How the hell can you understand people irrespective of their age? You are right Dadi. All of us do things the way we feel it should be done and none of us is right or wrong. I can understand Baby (my sister). Growing age you know. It happens. Oh, what all I did when I was her age.” She laughed and Grandma slapped her back in a gesture of perfect understanding.

The incident was soon forgotten and not a word was said about it by Grandma or Pratima or me. Well, I told you Grandma is the most underestimated person in this house. My parents think of her as a blind old helpless lady, and I am sure they would be surprised to learn a few good lessons from grandma.

The objective behind this narration is simple. I was under a cloud at school and my parents, in an expression of parental authority over children, had debarred me from having any social activity apart from the drudgery of studies. I was a prisoner and victim of circumstances. I knew there would be no sympathy shown, except by a few well-wishers. My sister and my grandma. 

Grandma, for once, seemed to accept what my Mom desired her to do. But knowing her well enough, her mind would be racing for solutions. It was most unlike for the old lady to sit twiddling her thumbs when something as important as telling stories was denied to her. She is a lady with a strong mind and loved her freedom dearly. Storytime was the only time she had the freedom to express whatever she liked in whatever way she preferred to a captive and keen audience, and she loved this time slot. Now, for something as boring and mundane as studies, the freedom of expression was being clamped down upon and being a fighter, she would fight herself out of this senseless ban.

At the dinner table, my grandma threw a surprise. She declared solemnly that she would never again allow me or my sister to cut a sorry figure at school. My dad looked surprised, even as mom ignored the comment. 

“I feel so bad today. I curse myself for being so blind and helpless, a mere burden to you two. You work so hard to earn and give a good life to your children and look at me. I just sit and do nothing. Watch TV, listen to music and eat and sleep. I contribute nothing, yet all of you do so much for me. I have decided. I shall do my bit for you two. Take your tension away to the extent it can be taken by me.” Grandma’s rather unusual outburst caught my Dad and Mom on the wrong foot.

“What rubbish are you talking Ma? Who told you that you have done nothing for this house? Did Mala tell you that you are a burden on us?” Dad glared at mom who looked very uncomfortable.

“I never said anything like that. Why should I?” Mom looked like crying.

“Oh, I am sorry if I gave you the impression that someone spoke harshly to me. It’s nothing like that. You see, I felt bad when you two had to go to school and listen to the teachers about Aneesh. I don’t blame you, it’s the bloody system. Look son, neither you or your brother and sisters ever gave us any trouble with studies. And I am sure at that time, schools and colleges were more understanding about children than they are today. Merit and rank are fine son, but would you like your son and daughter to become some kind of vegetable? Do you know this vegetable, Baingan? Brinjal, they call it in English? Baingan, or Be-gun, as it should be pronounced, actually means without any quality. I wonder why this poor vegetable, that we all like to eat so much, should be called that. Well, I am terrorized to think my grandchildren becoming like this vegetable. The education system today is dumping so much into kids, much more than you and Mala ever took in at your times. These children have become walking encyclopedia, their minds filled with bits and pieces of so many subjects. And where are they going to end up? God only knows.

Well, I believe there is no point cribbing about the education system. You have to bear with this. And Mala is right that Aneesh must focus more if he is to become something as successful as his parents. More perhaps. And I have decided to take charge of Aneesh and Pratima; I am going to monitor their studies at home from now on.”

Dad was positively flabbergasted by his old mother’s outburst. I could see him exchange glances with my mom and the two looked like bursting out with laughter any time now.

“Ma, I appreciate your concern. I know you want the children to do well in their studies and life. You have really been a great source of inspiration to all of us. We know you did not go to school, but none of us has the wisdom you have. Now Ma, why would I ever burden you with having to deal with studies of Aneesh and Pratima. Don’t we have the school and tutors to handle that? We are there, and it is our responsibility to ensure discipline and education to our children, just like you and Pa did for us. You do not worry Ma; Aneesh is mature enough to understand what is good for him.”

“Son, every one of us is mature in his or her own way. I know you are good and responsible parents; you understand your children well. I only wish to help you in a limited way. What else can I do? Let me at least spend some time with my grandchildren when they study. Maybe I can learn something myself?”

“Ma, we really appreciate your sentiments for the children. How can we say no? Do whatever you please.”

That is how Grandma worked her way into our study room. And what did she do? 

“Children. This is serious. I don’t know about your parents, but I will not fail myself. You have to teach me whatever it is that you are trying to learn. Aneesh, what is your subject for today?”

“I have to study a chapter in biology for tomorrow’s class. On parts of the body.”

“That sounds interesting. And what about you Pratima?”

“Oh, nothing in particular grandma.”

“Well then, Aneesh, start reading the chapter on parts of the body. I would like to understand what all this is about, technically.”

And thus began grandma’s story.

I read aloud about the brain, the heart, lungs, kidney and liver and so many other parts and their functions. Grandma was listening carefully.

“What do you make of all this?” She asked innocently.

“Well, it seems our body is much more complicated than what we think it to be.” I began cautiously. Was grandma going to grill me on what I read? Pratima was already smiling.

“You know, your grandfather was a doctor himself. And a bloody good one at that. I think he specialized in the heart but ended up dispensing medical solutions to all and sundry. But he read a lot and knew everything about the body. Once he was with this patient of his, a middle-aged man who looked quite sickly. Your grandpa was trying to figure out what was wrong with him and was asking him all sorts of questions. The problem with the man, it seemed, was that he had lost his appetite, was losing weight quite seriously and had these spells of fever on and off.

Your grandpa asked him what he did for a living. The man told him he was a government employee and worked in the accounts department. He had to work long hours, had a bad boss who always shouted at him, did not have the guts to speak back and came home only to be shouted at by his wife who complained that he did not do enough for the family. He had three children and aged parents to look after.

On being provoked by your grandpa, the man told him that he hated his job, did not like to get back home both for he hated his wife, and had very little time to do anything he liked to do. On the whole, the man seemed to me to be angry with everything around him, including himself.

That’s when your grandpa made his diagnosis. He asked the man to lie down on the patient’s bed and checked his blood pressure. He asked the man whether he was aware of what was going on in his head. The patient looked surprised at the question, and asked the doctor what was wrong with his head?

Your head is what makes you feel better or worse, your grandpa told him. If only you can look into it and see the brain, you would be surprised. He then showed the man the picture of a brain on a chart showing parts of the body. It all starts here, the doctor said, pointing to the brain. There are so many parts your brain is divided into, just like you see here in the chart. You will be surprised to know that what you think, what you feel, how you react, how happy or sad you are, how you love or hate people, what you think of yourself, others and the world, what you read and know, everything happens here. All of us know this, but few of us understand. 

We think that a lot happens in the heart, there, you see the heart? Its nothing but muscle, capable of doing nothing else but pump blood in and out of the body. The eyes, you see them? They are like the lens of a camera; they are capable of doing nothing else but capture pictures, and poor pictures I must say, of whatever they can focus on. They cannot make anything of these pictures but there are nerves connected to your eyes that carry all the pictures to the brain. You have nose, mouth and tongue all doing the same thing that an eye does. Capture whatever they can and relay to the brain. Do you see the liver, kidney and the intestines? They are useless organs by themselves. They only clean up the dirt in you. And there, that is your penis. An exhaust pipe for urine and beneath is the anus which throws out useless food.

The patient was getting a bit impatient, just like you are wondering what it is all about. I too was getting curious. What was my husband trying to say?

Your grandpa looked at the patient and said this. Each one of us is like the brain, imagine a life that way. We are all connected with the world in so many different ways just like the nervous system connects various parts of the body to the brain. We simply react to messages sent out by the world to us. Like the brain. That way, human beings are reactive, all of them, for they are built that way.

Now, your problem is quite simple. You are allowing yourself to react negatively to everything that is happening around you. All the time you are sending negative signals to your brain which then helps you react the way you want to react. These negative signals have started affecting your body as well. Your nervous system is sending these bad signals to all your body parts as well, you see?

I will give you some medicines that will help you calm your brain. But remember, these medicines will help you only temporarily. What you should do, instead, is to try to love something. Don’t love your boss or your wife. But there must be something you love?

The man nodded and said “I think I understand you, doctor. Too much bad is happening to me and I have forgotten to remember anything good. I love my kids, but hardly get to be with them. I love reading, but hardly have time to touch a book. I love gardening, but no time. Time, I have no time doctor.”

"You have to do nothing but love yourself. You are with yourself all the time, so that should not be a problem for you. You know, when the boss shouts at you, he is sending a bad signal to you and to himself. Avoid receiving the signal, instead, think that your boss is unable to handle pressure and therefore shouts at himself. So with your wife. She is perhaps unable to do things for herself and so takes it out on you. Take these medicines as prescribed, spend one month trying to love yourself. You cannot change your boss or your wife, don’t ever try to do it. You can of course try and bring small changes in yourself. Try doing it instead of reacting to this bad world of yours.”

“Grandma. This is a rather unusual story. What does it mean?” Pratima and I were puzzled.

“Nothing. It means nothing. It just means that you have just read a chapter on parts of the body without understanding what it is about.You read it for your class tomorrow. Now, read it again. And when you read it think of all those parts as being inside you. What you read you must understand for yourself. That is education. 

I asked your grandpa the same question. I told him that the patient had come to him for relief from symptoms he suffered. Instead, he was given a lesson on body parts. Why?

Your grandpa was the greatest man I knew. How fortunate I was to be married to him. More fortunate that he loved me so much and I loved him too. And I can tell you this much. The best thing God denied to me was education. It was some bigger plan, I believe. Your grandpa was destined to become my teacher and I was born to learn from him.

Your grandpas said, and, listen to this carefully. Do you know about your body parts? Do you ever speak, or are aware that the body parts speak to you?

I looked stumped. I speaking to my body and my body speaking to me was not the way I imagined myself to be. But your grandpa did not wait for my reply. My beloved wife, most of the times we teach ourselves, but all the time we feel that lessons are in schools and books. Your body speaks to you all the time, even now. It told the man that he was having problems and he came to see me. Have you ever noticed that your brain never sleeps? When you are awake, it keeps chattering all the time. When you sleep, it is still working. You feel dead when you are fast asleep, dead to what is happening around you. But you are not. Slight sounds wake you up. Dreams start coming to you, and when it is the morning you wake up automatically.

It is fascinating, this learning process. Every boy and girl understands his body parts by himself or herself first. When a boy grows of age, he can see the changes, though he does not question why? When a girl starts getting her periods, she just knows she has grown to be a woman. We make babies from this body. Women are able to feed their babies with milk. The body understands and adjusts to everything you need. With or without your conscious understanding. Did you know how to make babies when you were married to me?

That question took me by surprise. Your grandpa asking a grown-up, married lady if she knew how to make babies. But think of it, no one ever told me how to make babies. Do you know how babies are made?”

Pratima blushed and I flushed. Grandma was literally taking biology seriously. How to make babies? There was no chapter in my book on that. That was adult stuff. Pratima was however talking.

“We did learn about reproduction. We learnt that there are reproductive organs in man and woman and animals which help them produce their kind. I understand that a man and a woman have to get together for a baby to be born. Only females can grow babies in their stomachs. It normally takes nine months for a baby to be born.”

Grandma looked pleased. “See, you children know so much at such a young age. When your grandpa asked me the same question I told him that God made babies. Of course, I knew that unless a man and woman got together babies could not be made, but how could I be so brazen to say this to your Grandpa?

Anyway, what your grandpa wanted me to understand is that unless we know ourselves well, we cannot be happy with our life. Each one of us is the same as we all have similar bodies and parts. Yet some of us are stupid, some intelligent, some happy, some sad, some failures and other successful and so on. That way, our lives are different from others, though all of us seem to do similar things. Our body parts, he said, work differently in each one of us, and how it works, depends on your ability to understand and make it work for you. If you want to pass your exams with distinction, you will have to talk to your body and make it understand that it must help you to get a distinction. The patient who came to your dad was pleased when he left. Why? He came in with a load of problems which he thought he was unable to handle. His thought sent signals to his body and he began having all these problems, says your grandpa. Once we learn to be cheerful and face our problems with confidence, we will find success and happiness. The same man came back after some months to thank grandpa and tell him that he was now relatively happy with his work and wife. The boss and wife were the same people, the man changed himself to tell his body to handle them in a better way.

So the lesson for today, Aneesh, is that you have to study the chapters in your book with a different thought in your mind than just passing your exams. You must know about body parts well enough so that one day you can be as wise as your grandpa.”

So you see, that is grandma for you. She can teach you things when you are bored with being taught. Who says she is illiterate? I do not believe she did not go to school, maybe it just a story she made up for us?