Toys I never had

Playing with nephew; saw the amount toys,

I tried to remember the memory of my father giving me that joy;

Not a thought of happiness tickles my mind,

There was only whiplash out; I can hear my own cries

Like it was yesterday, that there belt marks on my back

Was I born out of love; of just a proving man; ball sack

I doubt ever my extinctions ever matters,

Maternal love also has my heart shattered

The constant comparison between me and my younger brother

Like I was useless one; he was championed out of our bunch

I know not what to do or say,

Was I born out of wedlock or mistake to this day?

Was I conceptualized too early to play my part?

After all out trillions of sperms cell; I was developed at last

Born to this family; with corpses, the dead heart grows

My childhood was something;

I seldom remember; except for hit and blows

In my loneliness, I do cry so painful yearning

My heart is under a porcupine while sleeping

The small pricks like thousand needles touch and go

Please take away this pain; hit me till I can breathe no more