To All The Girls, I Have Loved

To all the girls, I have loved before

Let me divulge a little secret 

We were lovers in this dream of mine.

Woven from the strings of the love we never had.

My strings entwined with you. All.

To all the girls, I have loved before

We were perfectly flawed. And happy.

And yet, not together.

Because we were never meant to be. 

To all the girls, I have loved before

My dreams of us do not end with me waking up.

The dream ended, but my love never did. 

To all the girls, I have loved before

I was a small town hazard, toxic for you. And all.

To all the girls, I have loved before

I fell for that laugh. And for the warmth. 

Darling, you are too well tangled in my soul.

To all the girls, I have loved before 

Each one of you reminded me of Autumn.

And like Autumn leaves I fell for you. All.

To all the girls, I have loved before

I have imagined, you lying beside me.

And my hands drawing circles on the arch of your back.

Slowly making love to your skin.

To all the girls, I have loved before

Break my heart again. 

I am sick from all your cuts, constantly wanting to throw up.

To all the girls, I have loved before 

Sometimes I think we were supposed to be lovers. Fairytale lovers. 

To all the girls, I have loved before

I've held you (all) far too long

Allowing you all to break my heart.

Slowly. And utterly. And again. 

To all the girls, I have loved before

Soon, I will not pretend of falling into your evening sky, starched by my burning fingertips.

To all the girls, I have loved before and I still do

You are my home, my paradise, and hell, that I reside in,

And eternal limbo for me to thrive and cling to dust and haunting memories,

You have claimed me, in ways I could never imagine, and in tears and pieces, I am yours, always.