Speak Up My Mind

Today I am here to speak up my mind
I am not good at speaking though
I might not express myself properly
I am of no charismatic material
I am of no high TRPs
I am not here to attract the largest number of eyeballs
I am not here to do cross-talk
I am not here to debate
I am not here to shout over another
I am not here to shout out loud across the country.
I fumble a lot
I forget words
My pronunciation might not be correct
I might not get snaps from the audience
By now you guys might have starting thinking of some
Defense mechanism So that you don’t have to bear the pain of my unprofessional performance
Yes you can walk out or busy yourself having munchies
But guess what?
I don’t give a shit about it.
I don’t know the art of using words though
I don’t know to blend personification, metaphor, onomatopoeia, simile..
I don’t know what is Iambic pentameter, Iambic tetrameter, Iambic trimester except for diameter and parameter
I am a man of free verse
I am in love with the very word free
My words sometimes rhyme
Like crows sitting on an electrical line
Sometimes it sucks like scattered heaps on the floor
Before coming here I have gone through most of the youtube videos
I have seen how people perform
Actually, I have studied them
Literally, I have studied them
I know I have to maintain a certain distance
So that I don’t end up blowing air in the microphone
I have to tell these lines in the end “Thanks for having me here” and “what a lovely audience you have been”
Please do remind me if I forget to say so.
But today I won’t copy them dic-to dic
Today I will try to be as simple as possible
I will try to be a better version of myself
Today I won’t pretend just to fit myself among the people who hardly acknowledge my presence.
Today I am going to speak up my mind
I am here to tell you
How my body was like a shuttlecock
Being hit from both the sides until all the feathers were broken away.
I tried to wade and pass through the empty rooms of my life
To an outer world where moon and stars glow
But couldn’t find an escape window
I brushed myself ten thousand times
But my body is too stubborn to give up its bruises
Bruises that are the proof of my

Advertisement

survival
Sometimes I feel like running naked to celebrate my victory,
Sometimes I feel like sitting in a corner wrapping myself with silence
But today I must speak
I must tell you
How much tired I am of being a black man in my own country
And how Kaaliya is an ugly, all- weather insult in my life
We are fighting against our genetic make-up in spite of knowing that it is not possible to commander the color of our skin.
We have become nothing but guinea pigs for giants selling fairness cream.
Whether it is mardowali or auratwali cream.
Today I am here to tell you
How life meant to be lived is passing through the attempts of suicides.
What were people meant to be?
And what they have made of themselves
Today I am here to tell you
I have seen a woman engulfed in flame
A dead body that nobody claims
It still rankles
It still hurts
It is still the same
Today I am here to tell you
I have seen children knocking at the door of your cars
I have seen you all blaming them for all the scratches and the scars.
Today I am here to
Remove my T-shirt
Yes I don’t have Six-pack abs
The “muscular biscuits” that women love to have in men
But it’s ok
I am here to remove my underwear too
Yes I don’t have huge penis
The “gigantic one” that women love to have in men
But it’s ok
You can call me whatever you want bull lips, chinky, momo chowmein, bulldozer, natta
I don’t care
Because we all have physical variations, which are natural and permanent
And satisfaction is not about numbers and measurement
It’s more of an emotional connect.
Today I am here to tell you that
I’m tired of people’s fiction and need a reality
I’m tired of their pretending and need clarity
Whether I will be accepted if I come out as myself
Irrespective of my age, caste, gender, language
Today I am here to tell you
We have become people who love to use knives on delicate things.
We come to loot and scoot.
And how beautifully we say “kya kar le ga be teri maki chut”
Today I am here to tell you
I am a guy and it is ok to cry and have big emotions.
Today I must tell you all these if I don’t
Then who will?

-Krishna Shivkumar yadav