Mess

I see those nightmares coming for me..

I hide myself to rescue behind the crowds.

I see no light coming for me

today my world has stopped.

When I see those thoughts eating my happiness

I run to survive;

To breathe air in my soul.

I run

I run.

behind all the glittery bars

behind all the laughs;

Behind each euphoric moment

there reside darkness in my happy place.

tomorrow I fear.

I fear that nostalgia might eat me up.

I fear all my happy places burning down in ashes.

yesterday I regret

full of insomnia;

I have shed my hard work

messed my timelines

with wreckage and brokenness.

Yesterday I got blind.

in the doldrums of yesterday, today and tomorrow

I’ll snatch a moment to peek through life.

Grab my sneakers

and disappear;

where me and my poetry can have an affair.

In the midst

my soul needs to conquer the monster of what ifs.

Peace in my mind inhaled

and exhaled ought to be the idea of debacle.

Because dear,

struck in the mess of nothing;

I fear everything.