Conquering Defeat

I was at the wrong place at the wrong time

so I thought, why not write a rhyme.

I certainly felt out of place,

sitting with a grim expression on my face.

There were faces everywhere,

hearing them yell was just too much to bear.

I might have known some of them,

But no way I was getting involved in the mayhem.

The noise and commotion felt omnipresent,

I hated it, my mouth twisted in an upturned crescent.

The chaos was really unnerving,

Without my novel in this place, I felt like a bird without a wing.

After what seemed like eons of anticipation and wait,

A teacher, like a raging elephant, finally strode in straight.

I was skeptical and unsure of entering this competition,

For I was no Tharoor when it came to elocution.

I unwarily entered the competition room, breathless and sweating with fright,

looking at their confident faces was not such a motivating sight.

When all were seated and I was settled enough,

I tried to loosen the tension with a little laugh.

But that didn’t work as if it wasn’t obvious,

Of those who beamed that confident smile, I felt envious.

Finally it was time to pick up the chits,

I could only hope I wouldn’t have one of those panicky fits.

One by one they all picked theirs',

this certainly felt like one of my nightmares.

I sat still and was silently staring,

2 minutes to speak and 5 minutes for preparing,

Yeah! This was surely going to be tiring.

The moment I held the chits, I was shattered, stressed and scared to the bone,

I sighed sadly, for I knew I was sad and alone,

how ironic! that was exactly my topic-

‘Laugh and the world laughs with you cry and you cry alone.'

In that state terror and trauma, I jotted down some quick notes,

Though I was sure they were incomplete for I had no quotes.

As time passed, each one presented their talk,

Most scared stiff, while others speaking fluently as if to mock.

As seconds ticked by, my uneasiness only grew,

My confidence shattered by those confident few.

I tried to remain calm by holding my breath, 

Until I was sure I was on the verge of death.

My forehead was dewed, while my mind meandered,

Oh god! How was I going to speak, I wondered.

I gasped with fright, as my name was announced,

Maintaining my calm was so out of bounds.

I noticed the ten sets of eyes staring at me,

Instead of suffering this embarrassment, I'd rather jump in the Dead Sea.

I wished, I could make a hole appear out of mother Earth,

Enveloping and protecting me in her warm berth.

When I dragged myself onto the stage, I went completely dumb,

I tried speaking, but my mind alike my body was completely numb.

I hurriedly squeezed my struggling mind,

But could not get what I was trying to find.

I tried to battle the demonic fears,

And mumbled out few words on the verge of tears.

It was then that I implemented a plan, a plan that I always knew,

Repeating the same bit of information, just the words were to be new.

What I muttered made little sense and so stupid it seemed,

The judges were befuddled, or so it deemed.

I descended from the stage without receiving any applause,

I was only thankful they weren’t looking out for something to toss.

I felt like a dumb bear sitting amongst the elites,

So I shifted to the corner, sulking over the lost fight.

I wanted to be a turtle, crawl into my shell,

Lock all my senses -no sight, no sense of hear of smell.

I sat on my chair, without having anyone to talk,

A pathetic loser, failure, as useless as a rock.

I reminisced each shameful event, this was by far the worst,

Sorrow swelled inside me, so much I thought I might just burst.

I felt like crying, crying and then finally dying,

It was then that my sanity returned and I remembered my dad’s saying,

‘losing or winning is secondary, the primary motive of competition is simply trying.’

I had done just that and I had succeeded,

Relief flooded me and the sorrow receded.

I didn’t win but all was finally better,

After all I had learnt what really did matter,

Winning and losing are like steps on a ladder,

You cannot achieve the former without experiencing the latter.