Pregnant

NO!! This can’t be true. Not now. Not today.

I was panicking, murmuring, shaking and looking at two pink lines; counting them again and again while wishing I counted wrong last time. Finally, I washed my hands and stood there, looking at myself in the mirror.

My son was 5 months old and I had to join work next month. Can I take care of two babies? I looked at the kit again. I couldn’t be alone and I stepped out of the washroom immediately.

“I am pregnant”

He let out a nervous laughter.

“I AM PREGNANT”

“No… You are kidding”

I showed him the test.

“Is that possible? How will we take care of the finances?”

“Finances? How will we take care of two babies simultaneously? What will I tell at my office? I can’t join after a maternity leave prepared for another one.”

News of my first baby was celebrated. Now I was terrified. I didn’t want my baby to think he/she was

unwanted. I was scared and guilty (for being scared) at the same time.

“Don’t worry. We will do it together. For now, I have booked Doctor’s appointment tomorrow” His

words were reassuring. And I started to imagine myself with the second baby.

“In a way it would be good to watch them grow together” I smiled at him. He smiled back.

.“You are not pregnant. Probably the test kit was faulty. It happens more often than not.” Doctor smiled

“It’s good. Your son is quite young and some age difference is good for both mother and the baby.

Part of me was relieved while part of me was sad, I am not sure why.