Ziana, Before You Were born!

Hi Ziana,

This is your mother and I am writing you this story so that you can read this later when I am gone and understand the reality of life. 

First, I love you a lot and you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. 

We have been trying to become parents for a long time, but there were fights between your dad and me, and things did not go well. I left your dad and was in Hyderabad when I started to lose weight as I had PCOD and could not conceive. After a few days, your dad came to meet me on my birthday, where we discussed living together and that's how you were in our life. 

Once we got the news of you coming into our lives, your dad was joyful and cared for me very well for the first month. But as time passed, he took it casually and I had to care for my own. I ordered my medicines for myself, I had the diet needed for your growth. Although he came with me for all the check-ups and visits at the hospital. 

I vomited during the first month and in later months I had no struggle with it. I started feeling you from the fifth month onwards, your hiccups were more than your kicks. In the initial months, It was found that the water that surrounds you called amniotic fluid was less and hence I was given medicine for that. In the later months, I was found to have high blood pressure and for that also I was given medicine. Things went well until the ninth month. 

Suddenly I started to get pains in the ninth month and unfortunately, the doctor was unavailable. Hence, the assistant doctor did checks for me, According to sonography you were to be born in the month of March and around mid-Feb, I was in labour, so the assistant doctor suggested that it was false labour and didn't treat properly. I was in pain for continuous two days and on the third day, I got admitted to the hospital. That was 17th Feb. The whole night I spent in pain and my doctor was supposed to come by nine but she came at ten in the morning. The time she came, she did my check-up and said that you had done potty inside and your heart rate was slowing down and I should be taken for an emergency c-section. 

I was taken into the operation theatre and within a few minutes, you were delivered. I was unfortunate that I could not see you first as I was unconscious. I was given anesthesia. 

After I was shifted to the room, I was still unconscious and I was not able to see you. I believe I saw you after 2 hours or so. 

Also, I could not breastfeed you, as I was not given food from the previous night onwards, and I was not getting milk. You were given formula milk. I was feeling so guilty that I was unable to provide milk. But, the next day when I was allowed to eat food, I was able to get milk and from that time, I have breastfed you.

So, this is how you were born. I wished for you to be born normally, but it was unfortunate that I had to undergo a c-section. 

When you were in my womb, your dad always told me that you were a boy, but I had a very strong intuition that you were a girl to me. Your dad did not talk to you when you were in the tummy, he said he would love you once you enter this world. But, I used to touch you all the time I was free. I used to talk to you. I used to listen to your hiccups. I used to pray for you. 

Anyway, my little angel you were in my arms and I will tell you the rest in the next story.