why you kill me?

Today my mom is crying on my dead body, and just beside my body my spirit is standing and hugging my mom. My spirit says, “Mom, they kill me. Mom, the monsters, devils, and evils kill me.” My spirit is just crying, but at that time I am unable to tell anyone what is happening. I am just desperate and hopeless. Actually, I want to tell my mom what the matter is, but I am unable. Nevertheless, what happens with me, what is the story behind this, why mom is crying, why my spirit is crying, how I died, and who the monsters, devils, and evils are — at the last, you will be able to understand. So, the story starts from 15 January 2015. I am so excited on this day because it is the last day of class 9 in school, and there is a farewell. But I am quite nervous because my boyfriend is not talking to me. Literally, I am unable to chat with him because of strict parents. But I enjoy my farewell. On this day, I wear a pink dress and wide jeans, and I am looking stunning. When I enter the classroom, I see my friends wearing different types of dresses. On this day, we also play different types of games and sometimes eat — of course, it is our last day. But they all are so selfish; they just organized a small farewell. Whatever. Let’s come to the real topic. The boys or girls who win get cups with the school logo — WTF is that? Then there is our picture together… but whatever, this day is unforgettable. And I am with my best friend. Now, let’s talk about 16 January 2015. On this day, we go to the institute, which is a branch of our school, but we are still in 9th grade. From 16 January to 20 March, we learn the basics of 9th grade again for class 10. In March, I notice a guy I don’t like, but after some days, my best friend says, “This guy looks at you.” I say, “Really??” Now, this guy is in 5th grade. We first meet when the boys of our class go to the opposite classroom, and fortunately, this is his classroom. I have to take my notebook from the table, and there are boys there with one boy from our class. This guy is in front of me. I take my notebook and go back. My heart beats super fast. This guy often looks at our class and always sits at the back. From my talk, you may realize that this guy likes me, but that’s not true. He messages girls in our class and says he likes one girl. I realize I feel jealousy. I also realize I like him, but my best friend says this guy is playful. I feel worried about him because of his personal situation, and I take a pledge to help change him. I don’t know this will become a heavy burden later. My ex, who broke up with me, tells me not to have a relationship with this guy because he is a playboy. After some days, our classes are shifting, and I am scared of how I will see him. I find his account on WeChat and message him. He responds, and I propose to him. He accepts, and I am very happy. But this is just the trailer — the real story begins now. We start talking at the institute. On 2 May 2015, we have our first date. He takes me somewhere I don’t understand at first. We share a small kiss, and I pull back. He asks if I want anything to eat, orders four sandwiches, but I don’t eat. Later, I start realizing that he is not trustworthy and I begin feeling scared and uncomfortable around him. Over time, he hurts me in ways I cannot describe, and I realize later how serious it was. On 17 May 2015, I was alone with him in a room. I didn’t understand the danger at that time. Something happened that made me feel scared, hurt, and confused. I felt trapped, powerless, and betrayed. I didn’t cry, but deep inside, I knew that this was wrong. From that moment, a heavy weight of fear and sadness started to fall on me, and I realized being with him was not safe. This type of harm happened to me four times over different months, each time leaving me more scared, helpless, and broken. I didn’t cry outwardly, but inside, my spirit was shattered, and I felt trapped in a nightmare I couldn’t escape. But I loved him very much. I trusted him completely. When I finally realized the truth and had proof of his betrayal, everything changed. He started blackmailing me, stalking me, and making me feel trapped. I felt like I had no choice, no escape. I was desperate, hopeless, and lost, overwhelmed by fear and silence. And then, I felt like I was gone… they had killed me, my body, my spirit, my heart, my voice. The monsters were not imaginary — they were the lies, betrayal, fear, and manipulation that destroyed me. That is why, in the beginning, you see my spirit crying beside my mom. That is why my mom is crying. That is why my spirit is crying.