Why Do I Need Permission....

The Woman That I am....

The word 'Women' is always a significant topic to discuss worldwide. Her life is very complicated and charming at the same time that at one point she is suffering while taking care of her family there on the other hand she dressed up like an angel to please the surroundings. Even though there have been so many articles already written about women, for women as well as against women since years and there is nothing actually left to point out, especially about women. I would also not be able to make any new observations that have not been made before. At the risk of repetition on writing on this crucial topic, I would like to pin down some major issues which women face in day today life. 

Here I think I must come out with an issue of gender discrimination where women treat like a subordinate. For this I would like to take an example from a Bollywood movie.

There was a movie “Dil Dhadakne Do” which was released on 5 June 2015 (India) Directed by Zoya Akhtar and Narrated by Aamir Khan. The movie was starring Ranveer Singh, Priyanka Chopra, Anil Kapoor, Shefali Shah, Farhan Akhtar, and Rahul Bose. The essence of this movie has remained with me long, because it has again presented the common problem of gender discrimination. Where Priyanka Chopra played the character of Ayesha Mehra, who was a successful business woman and has made it in the corporate world on her own. 

And as usual her husband, played by Rahul Bose, says in a gathering discussing women’s rights, that he is very liberal and that he has allowed his wife to work.

Ufffffff…….

This is something really annoying that why???? I mean, why do men always think they have all the power to give permission to their wives. What she needs to do, where she has to go, how she has to talk, how she needs to behave, which job suits her, how she has to behave and perform in her workplace, how to…, when to…..where to….. 

The complete flowchart of his wife's lifespan is his headache… Imagine what a tedious job a man has to perform!! 

Even though a woman has all the learning as well as understanding to choose and proceed accordingly. All the above she has all the rights to do whatever and however suits her, but still….. He enjoys driving and he drives her too as he drives his vehicle with all the controls in his hands. Why do men forget that women are not machines to move with push button commands and orders? Rather women are also human beings as men with all the senses and feelings and so it should be her own choice and decision, what please her….

This weird sense of male candidates of our surroundings entitlement permeates the whole society. All strata of society are guilty of this type of thought process. The rich, the poor, the middle class, the educated, the uneducated. You know what! Somewhere it's a male ego satisfaction that he can control her or he is managing the remote control of his wife or women in his family. 

It has no exception in this matter, no matter which caste, class, race, culture or region of society he might be. Even it is so ingrained in our psyche or mind set that now it seems to be normal. Sometimes it actually seems unfair that approximately half of the world’s population who gave birth to the other half become the second class citizens for centuries. 

Further, if we look at the flashbacks of women all around, almost every right the women cherish today, have been conquered after many struggles. It might be the right to vote, or the right to get education. There are countless battles facing ahead even for her normal survival in the society. It is always a big question in front of society, why should there be such battles for fundamental human rights? And if one has to fight for those then why on women, Why?

One of the reasons for all such sense of entitlement may be because of our typical parenting. I'm basically talking about Indian parenting where boys are treated as a gift of god and they are not trained to do anything than ordering or behaving like a boss. On the other hand girls were like slaves and trained to work the whole day. They had treated their daughters as others property and beyond that they have to pay for her marriage in the form of dowry. Therefore in very early years the girls were not supposed to even get educated.  

Slowly the mind set has been changed and girls were into education and further, when they grew up and became parents they continued this blessed revised culture where the girls not only received education but also gave them wings to try out new things.

Nowadays our girls study, work on professional platforms, drive their vehicle, go abroad, cook well, take care of everyone’s needs, be driven, follow their passions, and whatnot. Basically we are giving the world well rounded humans to take the world forward.

But are we doing the same thing with our boys? 

No……... 

They are still cosseted and allowed to think that they are the best thing that happened to the world and that they can demand and get what they want whenever they want.

While we have made our girls capable of looking after themselves and ten others, we have not made the boys their equal.

If life can be visualized as a cart with a plough to be pulled along, then it requires two people pulling it equally forward. This is the time when there is a keen need to make our boys equally capable and to drill in the fact that your partner is equal to you in every sense of the way.