Void

Void

8 mins
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It is neither wise nor easy to colour a void.

Void id void. A kind of emptiness rather. Which are beyond the level of anyone’s reach through the medium of language. It has not words inside. Moreover, there is no outside of this void too. But some say that it exists. Maybe in the form of a feeling, or may be of some other form, it exists without it existence.

I don’t know why I wanted this void since I came to know about it. But I haven’t had any chance of getting it or getting into it.

Until that day.... the very day I continued to sigh on it many times.

That was the very day, when all the words went mute. Though,the silence was also unbearable, no noise could reach at the level of silence. It was mystic sort of thing. Everything turned strange. The sky, which should have been inked in dark colour, remained red. And it continued to remain red till the night arrived at its late hour. It was a kind of awakening red. I felt that the sky was trying to tell me something. I couldn’t read it. Because I was not in a mood to look at it the way it wanted me to look. The earth was also looking at me with its strange outfit. I felt, as if the earth was about to burst off in many mysteries. I was sure that I was not appreciating their strangeness. But they came to me in the form a twin who wanted to play their mysterious game of hide and seek with me awkwardly. There was no poetry inside either earth or the sky. That’s why i smelled fear. The fear was of sorrow or joy I couldn’t know. The reason I was proceeding towards him.

This was not the first time I was visiting him. I have been frequently visiting him since we both began staying nearer to each other a couple of months back. I, even yesterday visited him. Yesterday, when I came to him he was at his jolliest mood. He asked me if I could pay him some more time to him or not. I said yes. And in fact I did gave him more time the, despite my serious meeting with my girlfriend. He asked me if I could fetch some ‘bara and guguni’ from the nearest vendor who fries it in oil. I also did that. When I returned back, found him looking through the window. I came behind him and tried to see through the same window. I could see almost nothing. The sky was the morning sky- clear, the frame of the grilled window. Much high in there a few birds looked like distant dots like dust floating particles in the growing radiation of sun. In fact, there was nothing visible other than a few dots in the ashy blue sky. But I silently continued to watch the spectacle as I was not interested in disturbing his vision. I thought, probably he was floating in his regular hallucination which he habitually does.

But this didn’t last long. He broke his silence and asked me to open the packet of food. I opened and we both shared those. For few moments the room smelled in fried oil and spicy odour of the food. The room also jingled with the crunch and crush noise of ‘bara’ until we finished those on chatting over the taste and quality of the food.

After which he began coughing. It was longer cough that took almost a few minutes to have ended. When he ended, I almost found him panting breathlessly. That was a strange look which he threw at me. This lasted for another few moments when he stoned me a smile and said,- don’t be serious. I remained silent for I didn’t know what could have been said to him when his eyes were hanging like bulging balls out of sockets. He again said,- there is nothing to fear, my boy,- this is life. We just have to move in cough and colds through seasons. You know? This is what people call -ageing. I knew what he was saying. He was saying about his aging status. Still i didn’t say anything, rather continue to stare at him with questing eyes. I sincerely wanted to find out the change which had come recently to him. He was not like this before. So this change was a notable remark which altered my thought.

He was my teacher. He used to have given me tuition from a very close proximity. That was the time when i was in my college. He was saying that he had been getting immense pleasure by giving me his extra efforts to teach me as reasonless fact that I was his pet student. He, i didn’t know then that why had he liked me so much. I was not a good student then. I had history and he was the youngest teacher of our department. This was a different stroke of time that brought us together in a relationship teacher student family. We had spent many days together chatting over theories and teaching until i passed out of the college and shifted to another place for further studies. We lost track though we continued our affinity through letters for another few years. Then all stopped, slowly and gradually. We completely lost each other’s track.

I, at times thought of him, no doubt but never had any chance of finding his whereabouts. I didn’t know why I always missed him. Even often, I have had dreams of him, dreaming about his advises that could enrich my position or dreaming of him standing at a lonely mountain’s peak, looking down to earth saying of how he conquered it. That was what he said me once. He said that it would be easy for anyone to conquer the earth without becoming Alexander. I also believed him. Most of the time he adds flavour to what he says by giving a follow up smile with a common term –there is nothing to fear. For him death is the ultimate checkmate to any kind of fear. There is no fear beyond death. Mostly his saying doesn’t require either footnote or end notes. They are so simple yet they are so heavy that one cannot just escape out of it. Even the present statement of him was heavier for me in both the ways- emotionally and literally. He almost meant explained out his voice by saying- there is nothing to fear.

I felt as if I was atop everything to look down to what he had put below him.

Once he did something like that.

We were in a study tour once. I don’t remember the place exactly. it was somewhere in MP or UP but the place was dense with thickets which were centering around the peak of a hill. When we were getting into the thickness of the dense forest we were so close to each other. I was last one in the row but followed by him. Accidentally on the middle of the journey, I was hold from my wrist by him who practically dragged me into a different direction and signaled me to move silently. I had no choice than to follow him. In fear and anxiety of following him I became restless and that led in to blindness in anger. I was about to scold at him when I pinched me and made me realize the situation.

We had reached at the top of the mountain heading.- There is always a short cut for every reach. He giggled and added-here the point that we started to reach. Wait and watch. They will take another hour to reach. I asked him - why didn’t you say this to others? He replied - this isn’t made for them. I personally located this before. Besides, I wanted to say you something, come. He took to the top of the rock. I became thrilled when I followed him over the stiff edge of the rock. He said I couldn’t allow each one to take this rock side to reach the top. You know, top place is secured for a few people. There could be accidents. So I avoided them. We reached at the peak from where the ground was looking like a model ball.

This is void, he shouted at the top of his voice.

I could see the whole of everything below us. He explained - when everything goes below you can feel void. Here it is. Only the person who has seen the top can see void. Or feel it. Some call it Trans.

He started singing. And said this is the language of void as there is none to listen of what you sing or how you sing. This is something beyond, beyond the human reach. One cannot have access to your quality.

We turned to a lower surface in order to wait our company. They also arrived shortly. And we returned back. On the way back , probably he said - there is nothing to fear. and smiled.

And why? Why did he smile? Why did he do??? These are some queries which don’t have any answer.


Years have passed when I met him one day standing at a tea stall, quarreling with a common man over religion.

We met each other till this very day I am writing about him.

After we took our ‘bara and guguni’, he again went ahead to look through the window frame. What are you looking at sir? I questioned.

– the void, he said.

- Is it an object to see? I asked again.

- Yes. You can see the whole of everything below you. You are free to command everything. But you are too far above everything nobody bothers about what you say or don’t.

- You are talking of mystery, Sir.

- No he said... come tomorrow exactly at seven P.M. evening. You will find me in a different form.

I knew he wanted me to leave. He knew I could never understand his meaning of void. I knew, some words. Meaninglessly exist. They might have been made for some people who do not have any connection with the worldly people.

So I returned back to my own world.

Probably that was how he explained me the meaning of void.

That was my last meet with him.

The next evening I couldn’t find him he had already vanished into nothingness.


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