Unsaid

Veer stood beside his father, nervous and a bit disappointed, as his father switched on his computer.

“So, how much marks do you expect to get, ” asked Mr. Bansal to his son, Veer.

“I don’t know.”

“Don’t get all cranky. You know if you don’t crack medical entrance, you are getting into a private medical college. Don’t think that if you deliberately score bad in PMT, I’m gonna let you do something else,” and Mr. Bansal continued searching the Internet for PMT results.

Veer rolled his eyes. Being a doctor was the last thing he wanted. Although he didn’t have any particular dream, he was at least sure that it wasn’t being a doctor. His father had been forcing him to take up medicine as his profession since he was a little boy. But he was least interested, and never did well in his exams.

Mrs. Bansal came in with two cups of coffee, and stood near the computer screen. She looked up at Veer and smiled. Veer smiled back nervously.

“Oh, this bloody Internet. The webpage keeps crashing, ” Mr. Bansal expressed his disappointment. Veer was silently praying for the webpage never to open.

After trying for half an hour, the page finally opened. Mr. Bansal entered Veer’s roll number and registration number, and watched eagerly. The results appeared. Mr. Bansal kept staring at the screen for a while.

He looked up at Veer with distinct filth. Veer understood and looked down. Mr. Bansal got up and forced a slap on Veer’s face. Within seconds, streams of tears rolled down Veer’s cheeks. But Mr. Bansal was lost in the moment. He immediately twisted Veer’s ears, yelling, “You worthless moron! You are good for nothing! All I asked you to do was to crack PMT, and you couldn’t do that too! You are just a waste of time and money! You are a disappointment. You have brought me down in the eyes of my family and friends. Look at me, such a successful doctor, but my son, couldn’t even get 50% marks!” and he released Veer’s ears in a jerk. Veer was sobbing loudly. Mrs. Bansal couldn’t do anything, because she was well aware of her husband’s temper. He didn’t like meddling, especially when it concerned Veer.

Mr. Bansal raced out of the room, but stopped near the door to say, “You are definitely getting into a private college. If not a doctor, then you better not be anything else.”

Mrs. Bansal tried to comfort Veer, but it was too much for him. He had talked to his father about him not being interested in medicine. But his words were unheard. Now that he didn’t score well, was the fault entirely his?

 

2 MONTHS LATER

It had been two months since Veer’s results were out. In these couple of months, all Mr. Bansal had done was to thrash and yell at his son. Veer had gotten really depressed. He’d had disagreements with his father before, but this time, it was so much more.

“Veer. I’ve applied for your admission in a private college. They’ll call back any day now. Get ready to go,” Mr. Bansal said, flatly.

Veer slowly stood up from his seat, trembling with anger.”No!” he shouted back. “I’ve had enough of you and your medical nonsense. Have I already not made it clear to you that I don’t want to be a doctor? Why are you hell-bent on making me do something I’m least interested in?”

“How dare you yell at me? I’m your father. You will do as I say. You don’t have a say in what you will study and what you will be.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, Dad. I’m the one who’s supposed to be studying. How can you say what I should study? I know what I’m interested in. I can do well only in the stream I want to go for!”

“Okay. So tell me. What do you want to do?”

At this, Veer got quiet. He didn’t know what he wanted. He wasn’t sure about his future. He looked down, having no idea of what to answer.

“Come on. Speak up.”

“I don’t know, alright? But I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be a doctor!”

“Look. Enough. You don’t know what to do with your life. I’m putting my foot down. You are getting into a medical college. That’s the end of it.”

“No, it’s not. I’m not going for medical stream. I’m staying strong on my decision.”

“The only way that’s happening is if you walk out of my home. As long as you are under my roof, you’ll have to live by my rules.”

“Alright. I’m walking out right now. Don’t try to stop me. It’s my life. I’ll live it the way I want to.”

Mrs. Bansal broke down at this. “Veer, don’t do this. You can’t live on your own. We are your parents. How can you leave us?”, she said, holding Veer’s hands. Mr. Bansal pulled her away from Veer saying, “Let him go. He thinks he’s old enough to make his own decisions.”

Mrs. Bansal wailed as Mr. Bansal pulled her out of the room. Veer rushed into his room and slammed his door. After half an hour, he came out with a suitcase in his hand. He shouted, “I’m out of here,” near the door and walked out.

He went straight to a cafe. He sat down with a newspaper he’d bought on his way there. He had taken a huge decision without thinking. He was afraid he’d gotten himself into trouble. But he couldn’t have stayed any longer with his father. He was being harassed by him. He knew his father well. That was one stubborn man. Veer was pretty sure that his father had cut him out of his life and wouldn’t beg him to return, under any condition.

He was going through the newspaper absent-mindedly, thinking about his lack of ambition. Now that he had nowhere to go, he cursed himself for being aimless. Then, his eyes fell on an article, and suddenly he knew what he wanted to become.

 

10 YEARS LATER

Veer looked around. He hadn’t been out of his workplace in a year. He had missed being free. He talked to his mother once in every month. She always asked him to return, but it had been 10 years since he moved out, and his father had never talked to him in these years. Mr. Bansal was too stubborn to let things go, and this time, Veer was too righteous to go back.

He let all these thoughts out of his mind, and decided to enjoy the fresh air. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath in. As he opened his eyes, he smiled heartily at the girl coming towards him. She was the love of his life, and his girlfriend, Arusha. She came and hugged him tight. “Hi,” he said. “Welcome back,” she replied.

“So, the common question, did you miss me?”

“No. I didn’t. I missed my love, though.”

Veer chuckled and let go of her. She looked at him and smiled. “Why don’t you come back to India? You don’t have to work in the US. We have engineers here too,” she complained

“I know. But you are well aware of the problems I have with my father. I just don’t want to live anywhere near him. It’ll be too difficult.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. I love you. Let’s have a cup of coffee.”

“Okay.”

They took a seat in the cafe. Arusha said, “You should come more often. staying away from you for one year is too much for me to take. And I also get to talk to you only one in a month. That’s so unfair!” Veer laughed at this. “Alright. Stop complaining first.” Arusha pouted. “I too want to talk to you more often, but I get enough time. I get very busy, and let’s face it, I like being engaged with something or other. That way, my childhood memories don’t keep coming back to me. You know how difficult it is for me to handle those memories,” Veer said and broke into tears. Arusha consoled him, and said, “I understand. As long as you are happy, I don’t mind not talking to you very often. I know you love me, anyways.” Veer smiled. They had their coffees, and a long conversations about their lives.

Veer walked back to his hotel room, thinking about Arusha. She’s all he had. He told her everything, and she understood him. They had been together for 3 years now. And loved each other. He always wanted to take their relationship ahead, but hesitated. He didn’t want to lose her or freak her out by talking about getting married. But he knew that the time had come. He decided to propose to her next year on her birthday.

 

ONE YEAR LATER

Mrs. Bansal kept turning over her phone to make sure everything was okay wit it. Veer hadn’t called once in the last two months. She didn’t know whether he was alright. She hadn’t left the place the entire morning. He should’ve called, she thought as she kept looking eagerly at the phone.

Arusha sat on her couch, thinking about Veer. It had been one year since she had met him. She was missing him badly. By this time every year, he’d usually be there. But this time, he was still in the States. He hadn’t even called for 2 months now. She was getting impatient and worried. She hoped he was alright. But she didn’t see what was about to come.

She switched on her T. V. for the 6 p.m. news. The headlines read “25 Jawans killed in a naxalite attack in Chattisgarh.” Arusha was shocked to hear the news, and silently prayed for the loved ones of the departed.

 

3 DAYS LATER

Arusha was taking a morning walk when she saw Veer’s parents. She had seen them in a few photographs that Veer had shown her. They looked very worried, and were rushing towards somewhere. She decided to follow them, just in case they needed any help.

They walked to the field nearby. As soon as Arusha entered the field following them, she was shocked to see what she saw. There lay a coffin wrapped in the Tricolor. She didn’t understand what was going on.

A man walked up to Mr. and Mrs. Bansal, and said, “Namastey, Uncle and Aunty. I’m Samar, Veer’s friend. I’m the one who’d called you.” Mrs. Bansal got anxious, and quickly asked, “Why have you called us here? Is everything alright? Where’s Veer? Is he okay?”

Samar looked down at this question. Mrs. Bansal kept repeating her questions while Mr. Bansal stood stupefied. he’d kind of understood what had happened.

Samar looked up at Mrs. Bansal and then, at the coffin. Mrs. Bansal widened her eyes in disbelief. She didn’t want to believe what she saw. She slowly walked up to the coffin, Mr. Bansal behind her. Arusha watched everything from a distance. Mrs. Bansal raised the Tricolor, and there he was. Her son. Her only son, who she hadn’t seen in 11 years, covered with blood. She sat down near his coffin, and sobbed.

Arusha’s eyes were filled with tears. She kept shaking her head, as if making herself believe that nothing had happened, and Veer was in US, safe and sound. But the reality was in front of her, and couldn’t deny it.

Samar went near Mr. Bansal, who seemed lifeless. He said, “Veer worked for the Indian Army. He had been from the very beginning.”

“But he said that he was an engineer in America!” said Mrs. Bansal.

“I don’t know what feud he had with you people, but he didn’t want anyone to know the truth. You must have heard about the naxalite attack in Chattisgarh. Unfortunately, Veer became a victim of that attack.”

Mrs. Bansal gave a loud wail and put her head down on Veer’s coffin. Right then, Samar caught sight of Arusha, crying. He went near her, and said, “Arusha, is it?”

“Yes. Yes, I’m Arusha,” she managed to say between her sobs.

“I’m Samar. I don’t know if Veer ever talked to you about me, but we were best friends. You were all he could talk about. He was always all praises for you. He loved you a lot.”

“I know. I love him, present tense. But how did this happen?”

Samar explained everything to her, and said, “Actually, I may have something for you. Something that he wanted you to have, but couldn’t do it himself.”

Arusha looked at Samar with surprise. “What is it?”

Samar took out a small packet from his pocket and handed it to Arusha. “I believe it’s yours.”

Arusha opened the packet. There was a letter and a small box inside it. She opened the letter. It read, “Happy birthday, my love! See, finally I’m here for your birthday. Before you ask any questions, let me ask you one. Will you marry me?” Arusha opened the box with tear-filled eyes. A beautiful ring awaited to be worn by her. She cried a lot after that.

 

It had been 8 days since Veer’s cremation. Arusha was wearing that ring, the ring that Veer was supposed to give her. The ring that could’ve changed her life. But unfortunately, all those dreams remained unfulfilled.

She was silently crying when she heard her doorbell ringing. She opened her door and saw Samar standing. He said, “Hi. Sorry to disturb you. I just wanted you to have this,” and he handed over a diary to Arusha. “It’s Veer’s. I thought maybe there’s something in there that he wanted you to know. He was probably planning to tell you after your marriage, but didn’t get a chance to. Oh, and just so you know, I didn’t read it. It’s all yours.”

Arusha looked at the diary, and said, “Thanks, Samar. You were his true friend. Please stay in touch.” Samar nodded, and left.

Arusha read the diary, and as she kept reading, she found out a new side of Samar. A side that he never disclosed in front of her, or in that matter, anyone else. After she was done reading, she took a deep breath, and got up. She took that diary and walked out of her house.

 

Mrs. Bansal sat motionless as she heard a knock on her door. She opened her door. There was a girl standing there. Mrs. Bansal didn’t recognize her. The girl said slowly, “Mrs. Bansal? I’m Arusha. I need to talk to you about Veer. Can I come in?” Mrs. Bansal let her in and seated her in a chair next to her husband. Arusha began, “I’m Veer’s girlfriend, and he was about to propose to me. His friend, Samar, gave me this ring, which Veer wanted to give me. Samar also gave me this diary. It’s Veer’s. Veer had told me about the problems that he had had with Mr. Bansal, but I didn’t know that there was an unknown side to it until I read his diary.”

Mr. and Mrs. Bansal looked at each other, having only a faint idea about what Arusha was telling. Arusha continued, “Mr. Bansal, he loved you a lot, but never showed it. He wanted you to talk to him and bring him back home. but that never happened. So, he joined the Army. He wanted to do something that’d make you feel proud about him. He waited to do something brave before he could tell you that he was not an engineer, but a soldier. He wanted to prove to you that even if he didn’t become a doctor, he could do something great with his life. Of course, he did do a great job, but didn’t live to see his father’s proud face!”

By then, Mr. Bansal had already started crying. He realized his 11-year-old mistake, but it was too late now. He wanted to hug Veer and say that it was okay. It was okay that he didn’t become a doctor. He wanted to tell him how proud he felt that his son lost his life defending his motherland. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to get back those 11 years that he had lost, but those years had escaped into infinity.