The Story Of Puberty
The Story Of Puberty4 mins 654 4 mins 654
No beard? Check, small in height? Check, thin voice? Check, huh seems like an adequate target for the day. Oh hi, where are my manners, I almost forgot to introduce myself, I am PUBERTY, yes that’s right the very “thing” that makes a lot of changes in your body around the age of 10-16 and right now I was selecting my latest target to attack. Well you all humans claim to know a lot about me but trust me you have no idea. According to you I am a naturally occurring phenomenon; this is somewhat true but let me tell you where I really came from. Satan or as you know like to call him Lucifer is the king of hell and the Omega or as we like to call him Demigod is the king of heaven. Ten decades earlier Satan got to know that Omega was cheating on their pact, the pact of not to interfere in mortal lives as long as they are on Earth but Omega had been sending his angels to help humans. Did I forget to mention that I am a demon? Silly me but never mind I am telling you now. I used to be a demon and the most notorious one at that so Satan trusted me with a responsibility, he sent to me down to wreak havoc among teenagers. And oh boy, do I enjoy it? Tormenting adolescents is way more fun than being in hell like I get to hear them scream when they get their fist pimple, girls getting rid of all that facial hair I give them, getting irritated from their periods and crying in pain and agony and my favorite that rush of hormones. It quite wounds my pride to say that those hormones are actually quite evil than me. We demons were made to haunt people and I make humans fear growing up and not just teenagers but their parents too. Anyways back to the story, when Omega found out about Satan’s move he cursed me, now I hit them but most of the adolescents will come out better looking after a while and become much smarter, stronger, energetic, responsible, develop critical thinking and all the stuff that is no fun. Isn’t Demigod the worst buzz killer? That is the reason that I stick to a teenager for a few years and when the screaming and agonizing part is over I fly off to the next target for the good stuff. But I do make sure I see them experience their very first relationship, oh the drama, tears, anger and irritation is better than any torture up in hell. Now that we are over with my back-story let me tell you how I work. So I select my target and then I analyze their qualities and determine the changes I will give them, for example a girl with daddy issues, superiority complex, and attention hungry would be given long legs, knack for trouble, slimmer frame and poof my human demon is ready. On the other hand if I see a miss goody-two-shoe I give her facial hair, lesser strength and that is how a nerd is ready but the angels usually mess with my plan of her social isolation and make her witty, beautiful and you know the cliché stuff. Why do I attack teenagers? Well it is the perfect time to cause trouble; they are vulnerable and naive and tend to fight a lot with their parents which leaves them with almost negligible adult advice which makes it easier for me to influence them the way that I want. What happens after my curse fires on me? Honestly guys, do you not watch rom coms at all? The mean girls learn a lesson and change their ways, the nerd ends up being successful and the jerk jock is changed of his ways by nerd. But I don’t stick along for this part, it makes my intestines churn and make me want to puke. Yes, I do have intestines and I do eat, my food is the pain and agony of youngsters but I must admit I have an acquired taste for Pizza. Anyways, humans were right about one thing at least, every teenager is indeed “hit by puberty”.
Now I have a newly acquired target to terrorize, so this is where I leave you. My wish for you? Keep on crying, screaming and being irritated. Toodles.