The Cheater

I was very cautious that night. Today morning, Aru had found the shirt Tina gifted me.

I should have casually told her that my office mates gifted it to me. But I became defensive and instead told her that she was the one who bought it for me few years back and just because I am wearing it after a long time, she doesn't remember.

She is so gullible that she believed me instantly and I thanked my stars.

So tonight I did not want to do anything to spook her off. Of course I wanted to meet my girlfriend but I had to wait until Aru and Aditya slept off.

I was just planning to make my move when suddenly Adi started yelling in his sleep.

Aru and I rushed to his room and saw him perspiring. He had had a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep.

I knew Aru would have to stay awake all night with him and my plans were going to be ruined. I cursed my fate.

Today of all days, I really wanted to be with Tina. It was her birthday and I did not want her to feel lonely.

I was still musing over these thoughts when Aru walked up to me and asked what was wrong. I had to cook up some story fast. Suddenly,I had a brainwave. I told her Rajeev was back in town for one night and wanted to meet me.But of course it was late at night and I did not want to go.I knew Aru would force me to go and the same thing happened.This was so easy.My confidence was back again.

Tina and I were going out for the past 6 months. She was just perfect. When at first she used to hit on me, I used to ignore her advances but after sometime I just gave in. Maybe I was not strong enough.In some part of my heart,I sometimes think it was because Aru started spending so much time with our son's homework and stuff that I started feeling lonely. No I know, its not her fault at all. I am the one who is doing wrong. But I am human. I too have the habit of blaming things on others even though I am responsible for my mess.

Please don't think for an instance that I don't love my wife. I love her very much, but the thing I have with Tina is completely different. I could never name what it was. But she made me feel good about myself. It was a new feeling and I wanted to enjoy it. I had buried my conscience deep within my pleasure buds.

Anyways, by the time I reached her place, the party was over. She was looking extremely pretty in the red sleek dress. I helped her with the cleaning up and then we had our own little party. It was a magical night. I was feeling as though I was the happiest man on earth.I could not ask for more. Everything was exactly as it should be.

Or, so I thought.

I did not realize when I slept off that night but when I woke up, it was way past 1 PM and my head felt like it was gonna explode.

Tina was still asleep. I did not wake her up. Just got dressed and left. Suddenly I realized that I had not received any calls from my office for not turning up .When I checked my cell, I found it was switched off.

I had told multiple times to Tina to not turn off my cell but she never listened.

I was still grinning at the thought of her mischievous attitude when the smirk was wiped off my face at the number of missed calls on my phone. There were 89 of them from Aru. This was so unlike her.

I could feel in my gut that something was wrong. I called her up but she did not pick up. I did not know what to do.

Just at that moment I got a call from my brother. I picked up and what I heard made my whole world turn upside down

Aditya had been in an accident and was admitted at the City hospital. He needed blood urgently and the hospital did not have it in stock for his blood group. Hence they were calling me repeatedly as my son and I shared the same blood group.

I drove like a mad man and reached the hospital. I was hoping everything would be fine.

All kinds of bad thoughts were going on in my mind. When I finally reached the room where they had kept my son, I saw it was empty.

I was stunned into silence. Was I too late? No, No that is not possible.

My son should not get punished for my mistakes.If only I had not gone out that night, I would still..

My thoughts were suddenly cut short by Aru. She came running towards me, hugged me and burst into tears.

The only thing that came out of my mouth was, " Is Adi.. ?". I could not finish my sentence.It was too hard.

She smiled at me and informed me that Adi was at present in the operation theater.

A kind gentleman had given blood some time back and Adi was out of danger.

I was suddenly alive again. When I said before that I felt like the happiest man on earth, that feeling was nothing compared to what I felt now. Tears brimmed my eyes.

Aru looked at me and in those pretty eyes of her, I could see my entire world. What was I running behind this whole time? My entire being started with her and ended with her. She was my soulmate. She was the one I promised everything to.

She was the real deal. Everything else was just an illusion. My life had meaning only with Aru and Adi.

When she tried to wipe my tears away, I could not take it anymore. I buried my head in her bosom and cried like a child. I felt those tears wash away any left feeling I had for Tina. I felt them cleanse me of my adulterous nature and bring back the profound love I always had for Aru. At that moment I couldn't fathom the reason I ever thought of having an affair.

I know what I have done is inexcusable.I was not there for my wife when she wanted me. I was not there for my son when he needed me.But I will not repeat these mistakes again in my life.

Till now I have not told my wife about my infidelity.I could have, but I am a coward. I am scared of breaking her heart. Maybe I am afraid she will leave me forever and I cannot bear the thought of life without her and my son. Everyday I wish I can somehow atone for my sin. But I know deep in my heart that I can never make amends.

My punishment is to relive my guilt every-time my wife smiles at me thinking I am her reason of existence, every-time she looks at me with those eyes awash with love and every-time she holds me and loves me as if her life has no meaning without me.

My punishment is to die a thousand deaths every-time I remember how my son could have died if he had not been saved by sheer God's grace just because I was busy satisfying my lust while he was struggling in a life and death situation.

My punishment is to hate myself for whatever false hopes I gave during those months to Tina when in-fact my wife, my Aru, was the only person I ever truly loved and desired .

My punishment is damning my soul till eternity for being a cheater.