Smile That Made A Difference

I was waiting for my friend to come out of her class so that we can go home together. Academics was over for the day…Unlike me everyone was in rush to go out and to go home. I sneaked myself from the crowd and managed to find a place in the corner to stand without any disturbance. All students passing by me were giving me a casual smile…some said 'see ya tomorrow'..I said the same with no expressions. Well for some reason I was feeling extreme low. It has been 1 year still I couldn’t get myself over those facts. For some reason or may be without any reason I lost all contacts with the person I used to talk daily.. More precisely every couple of hours…and it was not like we just lost contacts, we lost our bonding too. Well I admit that there was less of bonding and more of temporary attraction. May be I have given more attention to a thing people called crush. May be it was just crush and may not. But this is general tendency of a human nature; AT FIRST, "WE THINK EVERYTHING WE LOSE IS OUR LOSS". But gradually with time, I came to realize that it is not actual loss. It is destiny. We really can’t make ourselves understand that this is happening for something better at particular point of time. Well everything else was good..I was doing all what I love to do..I was getting a kind of attention everyone loves to have. But you really don’t need everyone to pay attention to what you are up to. You need that one person only. And I lost that person. So there was some emptiness inside. We really have innocent hearts and minds in our teenage. I used to be so emotional. I constantly keep thinking that why it happened and even though there was not at all my fault, I keep blaming myself all the time. I literally punished myself for so long period of time and I keep myself away from all the happiness since that time.

Suddenly I got some tap on back. And it interrupted my thoughts. I was so angry until I got to know that it was not intentional. I turned back and saw the overcrowded passage where I was standing so I forgive him. He smiled without knowing that I am angry on him and said 'Sorry'. I said 'its ok' with no expression. He was amazed with my feelingless words and expressionless face. And understood that he should not say anything further..so he left. But there was something unusual in his smile. It made me irritated but at the same time it made me feel good. I felt some peace after so long. Some innocence..some purity..some mischievousness.. some connection..some facts..some loyalty was there in his smile. I like his carefree smile. It was not the first time I saw him. He was my classmate but I don’t know why he made me pay attention to him that day. I wondered how come he makes difference to me. But anyway I am always so harsh with myself to welcome something good in my life. Whenever my heart feels something good, I stop myself from thinking the same on the very moment. I have developed this rubbish fear in my heart that if I become so happy then I will have to face so much sadness in next step. I locked all the doors of emotional side of my heart and threw the keys away. So putting all the good things, thoughts and feeling aside, I walked away encouraging my school’s infrastructure and feeling proud of being part of this amazingly beautiful institution!

P.S. – Don’t crush some stories before they start. Don’t be so harsh with yourself. Not all carry the same nature. So not try to judge any personality with your past experiences. If they manage to make difference to you then it is definitely something special. LET YOUR PAST BE WHERE IT BELONGS TO..IN THE PAST !!! And appreciate what makes you happy…LOYAL SMILES :)