Modern Tale Of Vikram, Betaal

A day at Bengaluru

Betaal had enough of this batman like hanging. He was irritated by the sight of Vikram in his long Kumbakarna like slumber. He was also short of riddles to ask Vikram. It is high time they venture out and hit the circuit so to speak. Betaal thought of Bengaluru, the most happening city in their native country. He carried Vikram, instead of the other way around, to the shower and turned it on. Vikram screamed Tsunami, Tsunami as the cold water hit and shook him up from his dream. Wassup? As he glared at Betaal. 

Betaal thrust a cup of south Indian coffee under Vikram’s nose, specially ordered from Hatti Kapi, Bengaluru and picked up by his telekinetic transportation device. Vikram, under the aromatic spell of the caffeinated brew, came into senses quickly and in a Holmesian style queried Betaal “So we are travelling to Bengaluru?” Betaal knew of the riddle solving powers of his friend, just nodded his head in the Indian style which non-Indians cannot decipher easily.

As he finished his coffee, Vikram asked “by jet airways?” and he bit his tongue for the slip. “Take off is delayed indefinitely” said Betaal as he readied his telekinetic transportation device. Betaal closed his eyes and using the combined mental prowess of Kasparov and Carlsen set the GPS for the transportation device for Bengaluru. He also activated the decoy device to ward off the ASAT threat from the newly developed Indian arsenal at the behest of the muscle man.

Betaal has been googling of late in preparation for this trip and has done his homework well. So, what is your question? Asked Vikram as they fastened their seat belt. I suppose it is not to do with the ongoing election, quipped Vikram. “That is a foregone conclusion, phir ek baar, you know what” answered Betaal with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

It was 6 am when they landed at Vidhan Soudha, Bengaluru. Vikram rubbed his burning eyes amid smoggy air and asked “have we landed at Delhi instead?” “No, it is Bengaluru indeed and my question for you is “who was responsible for this?” and you have time till end of the day to answer the question” said Betaal.

Vikram scurried away looking for the morning paper as he thought it was a good way and began unriddling. “From Pensioners Paradise to Pollution Peaks” screamed the morning headlines. The news- paper went on to describe that Bengaluru had become one of the cities of leading heights of pollution fast catching up with New Delhi and Beijing. What China can, we can do better seems to be the motto said the caustic article. As he read that “a day in Bengaluru is equivalent to smoking a pack of cigarettes” he asked Betaal “shall we go back instead?” Betaal replied “solpa adjust maadi” (please adjust) in the inimitable Bengaluru style and pointed out to an aged morning walker. Vikram got the cue and after some preliminary introduction asked the walker about pollution and who was responsible for the state of affairs. The walker said

“I am no Johnny but yet I am a walker

First came the geeks, then came the tragedy.

Secondly, the car sales went up.

By flyovers, roads too went up. 

Cars sales went up further

and we now we have corridors being elevated further.”

Enchanted by the poetic riposte Vikram took leave of the walker and moved towards the central bus stand area.

As he questioned passers- by, he had started a blame game.

Some blamed the politicians

Some blamed the private citizens

Some blamed the inadequate municipal transportation

Some blamed the bludgeoning population

And the mindless city expansion.

Some blamed the pollution control board

Some simply nodded and walked away bored.

Vikram was by now felt as if he had smoked half a pack of cigarettes. Betaal looking to his pitiful condition ushered him to an ENT clinic that advertised for Oxygen Bar. The clinic was run by Dr Neelkanth Ganeshaiah and as Vikram saw the doctor, he had to stifle a laugh. As if he was a mind reader too the Doctor said that he has had his ENT mutated and that is why he had a blue throat, elephantine ear and a nasal spout. But he was free from any ENT problem. The doctor then shoved a check list on Vikram’s face and asked him to check the following:

·        Shortness of breath, especially during physical activities

·        Wheezing

·        Chest tightness

·        Having to clear your throat first thing in the morning, due to excess mucus in your lungs

·        A chronic cough that may produce mucus (sputum) that may be clear, white, yellow or greenish

·        Blueness of the lips or fingernail beds (cyanosis)

·        Frequent respiratory infections

·        Lack of energy

·        Unintended weight loss (in later stages)

·        Swelling in ankles, feet or legs

As Vikram tried to protest, the Doctor examined him and said that there is nothing wrong with you as such and said “you don’t seem to belong here.” Then recommended him to take a 15- minute oxygen bar. Vikram felt rejuvenated and on top it was happy hours got a 50% discount too.

After a lunch of akki (rice) roti and sambhar Vikram decided to call on the chairman of pollution control board. Betaal had fetched his transportation device and the next moment they landed on the balcony of the chairman’s office.

The chairman was surprised to hear a knock on the balcony door and he woke up from his afternoon siesta. He thought he saw an apparition enter before he noticed Vikram and looked askance. Vikram then introduced himself and said he was trying to solve the conundrum of who is responsible for the Bengaluru pollution. The chairman had no concern for any pollution or its solution. He had made his chamber air conditioned and on top of this as Vikram had observed there was a device that made the ambient air purified. But in the morning that day he had narrated a Vikramaditya tale to his grand child and he was impressed to see the person in real, although Vikram nowhere looked like what he had seen in the TV. So, he politely narrated what the board tried to do but it was all beyond their control. Vikram thought they may call themselves “pollution out of control board” and the narration made him too bored. Vikram thanked him anyway and with Betaal flew out of the balcony. The chairman went back to sleep and he thought the whole incident was nothing but a dream.

As they flew, they saw a nice patch of garden and descended. It happened to be Lalbagh, the jewel of Bengaluru. The air was good to breathe and Vikram took a deep lungful breathe and exhaled. He did deep breathing, a few times as Patanjali had taught him. The air got cleared in his mind.

He told Betaal “an elephantine mutation is the lasting solution. But to the actual question I don’t have an answer.” Betaal said probably you need more time, so shall it be granted and flew back onto a tree for a restful evening.

Vikram was seen still searching for an answer as to who was responsible for pollution at Bangalore.