Loving someone and couldn't live without them

There is a huge difference between loving some one and not being able to live without them. I don't really remember where or how I came across this sentence, but it made me question my past relationships.

I indeed loved him, but it's true I couldn't live without him back then. Or so I thought. Before I met him, I never really cared about what my future was, I don't even remember much of anything that took place in my life before him except the major events.

And now, I can't imagine spending my life with someone else except him. I wanted to marry him. I know I sound foolish, but I loved him blindly. Back then, I would have done anything and everything for him. What I felt for him was just so intense that no amount of words can do justice what I feel.

And now that he's gone, I don't really know what I want anymore. I used to believe he was the one, and he is. I can never feel what I felt for him, for anyone else. No one could ever hurt me as badly as he has. I don't want to settle down with some other man anymore, even though there are days, I wish I had someone.

Feelings, they fade, and people leave. I do not want something momentary. I crave something permanent. Someone who wouldn't walk away from me when I need him the most. Someone who accepts all my flaws and sees me for the fucked up mess that I am, and still chooses to love m. still chooses to stay.

And maybe, just maybe, someday, I'll bump into him in the middle of a road or sit beside him in a crowded classroom and everything will start making sense.