I Am An Addict

I'm an addict. No, don't think in 'that' way. Don't worry, I'm not addicted to alcohol, I'm not addicted to sleeping pills and neither have I ever tried drugs. Instead, I'm addicted to something far worse than all of these things- I'm addicted to you I never thought that I would be addicted to you, certainly not after what you've done to me. Just like drugs, you made me feel happy and took me in a parallel universe along with you at the beginning. You made me see the constellations of love in daylight and a vibrant sky in moonlight. Day by day, I started craving for your love, you touch, your voice, the whole you..... A lot more than usual.

And now that you're not here with me anymore, I'm a mess of a dreamer lying on the rooftop, too weak to pick myself up again. I try to bring back the colors you brought into my life, but everything is so dull and dusky here without you. I try to forget you, I try to sleep at night, but your picture pops up in my head and it feels like you're still here beside me, holding my hand. And it took a part away from me when I finally realized that you're long gone and you aren't coming back either.

You made me feel high when I was sober. You made me believe in miracles. With you all those fairy tales made sense. I gave you half of my heart and expected you not to run away with it. I die a little more each day in your absence. My life has become like a black hole, with no way out. It has started to become cold as I dig deeper and deeper in those shady thoughts, only coveting your light and warmth even more. I'm so blank right now, that I am sitting here numb, begging my tears to come out and finally start to feel something and bring myself back to life, again. But nothing is happening.

And today. as I am writing this, I am dying a little more than yesterday, that perhaps, there will be no tomorrow for me anymore. -if only they had a rehabilitation center for hopeless lovers.