The Stamp Paper Scam, Real Story by Jayant Tinaikar, on Telgi's takedown & unveiling the scam of ₹30,000 Cr. READ NOW
The Stamp Paper Scam, Real Story by Jayant Tinaikar, on Telgi's takedown & unveiling the scam of ₹30,000 Cr. READ NOW

Raju Ganapathy



Raju Ganapathy




3 mins

In the new India, a teacher was asked to revise the curriculum for learning English keeping in mind the ‘atmanirbharta’ policy. She began her exercise with ‘learning the alphabet.’ She got started easily enough. With A she had a cakewalk.

A for Ambani, Adani. With B also, it wasn’t difficult.

B for border (shrinking), ban and with an after-thought added ‘bhakt.’ She thought with 1.38 billion, speaking Indian English Oxford Dictionary would soon add bhakt to the English dictionary.

C for cow, COVID was obvious enough. Though she hoped COVID doesn’t become permanent. She wanted to add C for ‘Chithi’ too but decided against it. For she felt that people who use the Tamil word chithi (aunt) are hardly bhakts.

D for de-monetization, delusion, dole suggested itself. She had some difficulty with E. Finally, she arrived at E- Elections and emergency. She thought of a desi word for F. F for feku or for the friendship between the great leaders of two largest democracies. For G she thought of ginger tea and also for God who walks, who once was a chaiwallah himself and H suggested itself. H for Hindi and why not add Howdy, she argued with herself as the word had become famous all over the country.

 I for India was obvious enough but she also added, I for illusion. What about’ immunity’ in these times, not only against the virus but all things happening in the country today? She wondered.

J for Jai Shri Ram, appropriate with Ram Rajya to come in future and she added with a sense of doubt J for justice?

K for kite flying as we see many leaders making a pronouncement on economics or COVID control, she had thought.

L for Line of (no) control, lynching, lies. Would she be arrested for suggesting this, she wondered!

M for magic, modified as it was a magic that the leader’s popularity remains undented whatever he does.

N for Nation, neighbours. Her heart felt heavy with the thought that one can’t love neighbours in these times.

O for One India, one language, one party etc. She thought this series would be okayed.

P for Press under pressure. She liked the pun of it.

Q for question hour. She felt that would make people understand the nuances of a functioning democracy.

R for ration. Nearly 810 million people survive on government’s ration. A remarkable feat, she muttered.

S for saffron. Simple enough for everyone to remember. She thought even sacrifice too would fit. Especially the poor sacrificing for the rich. And added sedition as an afterthought.

T – Truth or the lack of it.

U – UAPA. A bit too complicated metaphorical of the Act itself. Who among the masses understands UAPA? She wondered.

V for vandalize, countrymen’s favourite past time. She also thought about vindictive and vindication in the current context and of course last but not the least vaccine.

W for wall. We need a wall between neighbours surely, among communities, among religion. The country could build one longer than the Great Wall in China. After all, what the Chinese could do, we could do better.

She could only think of X for Xi and sighed.

Y for yoga, yogi and yoginis. She also thought of yoni but censured it. By the time, she came to Z she was tired and sleepy. So Z for and fell asleep zzz...She got up when the bulb in her mind lit up. She closed the exercise with Z for Zee TV.

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