Closed Chapter

A crush. Which started with the seating plan.

Probably the most special part of her life till now. The memories she still holds dear to her heart, yet it holds her back.

She wished she never met him. 

She wished she never knew she could be treated this special. 

She wished he was not a friend.

She wished that the rumors didn't break us apart.

She wished he was still with her.

5 years ago...

It was the first day of middle school. She went to the classroom and the teacher was already there, I took permission to enter the class. The seats were fairly empty, probably because it was still kind of early. 

I took a seat by the window and waited for everyone to come, luckily all of my friends were seated near me. 

There was a new classmate. A girl. She sat behind me. I introduced myself to her. She did the same. We talked a little bit and we kind of became friends. 

Luckily, we have no seating partners. I was excited because I don't like sitting with anyone but the teacher had different plans. She made us sit with our class boys. 

I don't know who my partner was. It was purely awkward. I think it remained like that for a long month until we finally became somewhat of a friend. 

We had fun, enjoying ourselves in our classroom, and playing paper games. Months went by like that.

Then, my health became worse. I didn't go to school for 2 months. The doctor made me have complete bed rest. I was livid, I loved going to school but to get better, I have to take a 'complete rest'.

My siblings helped me with all the schoolwork. We had a family friend whose son goes to the same school/class as me so it became easy to keep up with school. 

Slowly, the 2 months got over, it was time to return to school. I was nervous. The thing was I'd never taken such long holidays before. I mustered up my courage and entered the classroom, the teacher asked me where I was with a worried face. I told her that I was bedridden. She nodded her head and asked me if I'm alright now which I was so I said the same.

I went to my seat. Every one of my friends and classmates asked me the same thing my teacher asked. The day was going well.

But something was worrying me, my work was not checked by the teacher, I had to get it checked, but I was so afraid, then my partner told me all day long that everything will be fine, the teachers are not gonna say anything. I took his advice and asked the teachers to check my work. They didn't get angry. He was right. I was afraid for no reason.

I was having fun again but the teacher decided to change the seating plan. Why? I know now. She wanted to make us both the discipline in charge for the month. Apparently, the people in charge don't sit together, especially if they are friends. 

Being in charge brought us closer than before. We were always together. We had inside jokes. Leaving school together became a thing. 

He was always helping me out, was sweet to me, and just everything. I was a special person who didn't go unnoticed by my classmates. So yeah that's what happened. 

Everybody started shipping us. It wasn't a huge problem. I didn't have any problems with it probably because I kind of had a crush on him. He didn't seem to have any problems with the gossip too. We pretended to not hear anything and when friends asked me if we were a thing, I would deny it. We were happy being friends. Maybe more than friends.

But the rumors were getting exaggerated day by day, and things started getting awkward from being very close to just a 'hi, hello'. From him always asking 'how are you' to nothing. 

The distance grew larger and larger and I didn't know what to do about it so I did nothing but let the sadness of it consume me for years.

And then we completed middle school and high school without ever talking to each other. Sometimes I do wish to have a friendly chat with him, but I should just let it go.

I shouldn't hold on to things that don't exist anymore. And even though one chapter is not enough to write about him, I'll still close it.