By Jove! Never Heard Of It!

With obeisances to the eldest son of King Dasharatha... 

From the wild wacky weird world of Pandemonium emerges a trilogy, a gift of 3 stories based on the Adbhut Ramayana . 

Story no 2: 

Title of the story: 

 *By Jove! Never heard of it! (Wierd stories)

The following story is adapted from the book 

"Adbhut Ramayana". It has stories narrated by Sage Valmiki to Sage Bharadwaj. 

"Why Queen Sita laughed" 

Or

"When Queen Sita killed Sahasra Mukha Ravana by only her nail!" 

Bet a lot of you have never heard these weird stories before!

Our story begins after the return of Lord Rama from Lanka having killed Ravana. Rama was coronated King and the happy joyous Raam Rajya had just newly commenced. 

After Rama’s coronation in Ayodhya, everything was hunky-dory, and as was the custom in those times, bards and poets would sing praises of the King's Valiant deeds in the Royal Court. (This custom is prevalent even today, called as paid media, or sold journalists)

Anyway returning to our main story, on one such afternoon, after a heavy Royal lunch topped by a super sweet cooling dessert dish, in Rama’s Royal Court, the bard was signing and describing the battle with Ravana and how Rama eventually heroically killed the Powerful mighty evil Ravana.

While all were enjoying the sonorous song, and drooping drowsily, suddenly Queen Sita laughed very very softly. But it was loud enough (perhaps purposely so?) to be heard by the sharp ears of Rama and Laxman. 

They could not mistake the slightly Mocking tone the laughter conveyed, and at once King Rama asked the bard to stop his singing. Rama asked Queen Sita in the presence of the full court, ( perhaps again purposely so ? ) ”Why do you laugh so, my beloved dear Queen?”

At first, Sita acted innocent and said that her laughter was not directed at anyone, it was only a sign of joy expressed at Ravana's death and so on and so forth …..

But the intelligent King Rama knew at once that the reason of her derisive laughter was something else and her defences sounded too shallow, flimsy and weak, and he insisted on knowing the truth, no matter how bitter it may be.

(May I humbly suggest to the bored and/or famished reader to take a brief break here and practice out a few different tones and types of Mocking Laughter, just in case they come in handy in your later life …)

After the brunch and “laughing like a hyena” break, we return to the main story ..

 Finally seeing that there was no escape, Sita put on the Innocent ”O so dutiful wife” act (in which she was an expert like all women are naturally so), and said softly, O my Beloved Dear King, your glory is undoubtedly great! Your deeds are Valiant beyond compare! But I am a bit worried. You see the Ravana you killed was only “Dasha mukha Ravana” with only 10 heads. But he has an elder twin brother called “Sahasra Mukh Ravana” with a 1000 heads! 

(Sometimes called S M Ravana )

This guy is a 1000 times more powerful and cruel than Dasha Mukha Ravana was. For the safety of the Universe, Lord Brahma banished and confined him to a remote island called "Pushkar" with a curse that should he step out of it, he will die! But Now that Dasha mukha Ravana is dead, surely he will be plotting revenge!

On hearing this, King Rama was at once goaded into action! Like the days of old, Rama, Laxman, Hanuman all got ready to lay siege to that remote island, accompanied this time however, by the army not of monkeys, but of lazy pampered Ayodhya soldiers who had so far never fought a battle in their life. Queen Sita too accompanied them, as an onlooker, as Rama did not want her to miss seeing his valour and heroic bravery on the battlefield this time.

With a great roar of laughter, S M Ravana came out of his fortress. A fierce battle ensued and the Ayodhya army was first to lay in swoon, struck by SM Ravanas weapons of ”Rusty lethargy” and ”Burp astra “

Rama and Laxman too fell unconscious due to the poisonous fumes emitted by the evil breath of Sahasra Mukha Ravana. On seeing the inert bodies of Rama and Laxman lying on the battlefield, Sita suddenly transformed into a fierce dark, roaring Goddess, resembling Mahakaali.

With just the nail of her little finger, she beheaded Sahasra mukh Raavan, swallowed his entire army in one gulp, and then in one wave of her hand, caught hold of Lord Brahmas white beard and brought him dragging and bumping down the creaky Heavenly staircase down to the battlefield!

“Revive them immediately !” She ordered Lord Brahma, ”Or I will destroy your entire Creation, in one moment, and You along with it! ” 

Lord Brahma, trembling and shivering, in fear of the fierce roaring Goddess, hurriedly mumbled some magic mantras, sprinkled some soothing water, and at once revived Rama and Laxman who were lying unconscious; and also woke up the Army of Ayodhya who were lying . … Snoring!

On seeing the dead body of Sahasra mukh Ravana, all gave out a loud cry of victory and thinking that Rama and Laxman must have accomplished the good deed, raised slogans in their glorious names …

For, by now, Sita had reverted back to being her shy, docile, dainty looking, dutiful, housewifely original usual form. So no one suspected that She may have killed Sahasra Mukha Ravana! Rama and Laxman too thought that they had perhaps killed Sahasra Mukha Ravana, and then swooned in exhaustion! All returned to Ayodhya, none the wiser of the strange events that had taken place! 

But dear reader, this author was present then as a silent witness, and today, after Eons of years, I am narrating the actual version of events . ! So why am I telling this story now? I decided to spill the beans, and tell the world of this hitherto rarely heard story. Simply so that credit is given rightfully where it is due, and it’s the fashion to talk of women empowerment now ! … 

. * * * * * * *

Amchi goshta saro, tumchi pote bharo ! Amchi goshta akhud, tumchya paathit laakud!

May my story be short and simple, May your kids be born with a dimple!

May your day be sweet and sunny, May your kids be fat and funny!

--- * --- 

Authors note 1:

 I request the reader/listener to take this story in a lighter vein with a pinch of snuff. The author sincerely does not wish to offend or hurt anyone's feelings and tenders an unconditional apology if any one has been offended by the story.

Authors note 2 : 

This story is Specially and sincerely dedicated as a gesture of gratitude, to my 3 elder brothers

Captn. Naresh Vithal Vaidya, Captn Vivek Prabhakar Nachane, Shri Subodh Ramesh Raje and their respective wives and families for tolerating and supporting this wacky crazy cranky author: 

End of second Weird story from Trilogy of stories from Ramayana 

"Why Queen Sita Laughed!"